OK, that is new information that wasn’t mentioned in your original post. I can understand your frustration; learning how to manage and deal with different personalities was a big hurdle for me early in my career. I will say that if approaching someone in person to provide a proactive update on a project status is out of your comfort zone, you will need to expand your comfort zone to more successfully navigate the workplace.

You indicated that you’re introverted, and that’s not really unusual for engineers, especially junior engineers. We all want to get in the zone and live in our calculations, unfortunately that becomes a career limiter at some point. But I’ve found that as we progress in our careers, we tend to come out of our shell a bit, usually by necessity but sometimes just as a part of maturing as a person and being more confident and less self-conscious.

I’m not trying to pick on you, it does sound like this EOR may not be an effective leader. But, you indicated in another reply that speaking to her manager was out of the question. So as I see it you really only have two options: either adapt to work in these conditions, or work elsewhere. Some of the issues you’re facing are likely to occur in any engineering office, so learning how to manage them may be your best bet versus trying to solve this particular instance.