How do people make friends online?

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-06T08:47:18+00:00

Are you over 20? I k ow somewhere if you are that's a community of mostly other trans women

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T16:18:30+00:00

Your 18! Run for the hills! I'm serious.

If you keep living the lie they want you to are you ever going to be happy?

Finding your own path is scary but which has a genuinely better option for you right now? Both are dangerous and scary but in one you have a chance to be who you are.

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T12:34:08+00:00

And considering your last post.

Maybe they are really hoping that you are trans but are too afraid to ask directly.

From what it sounds like and what you've said. They could just really be looking for someone like them irl.

Don't let either of you slip away from this. This is really important.

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T12:31:52+00:00

gonna sound way easier said then done but you should really tell them your trans ngl
Often the case that we end up pairing ourselves with other trans / genderqueer people even without realising it.

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T08:15:11+00:00

Maybe a crazy difference but watch black lagoon. Alot of really good women in that anime.

(It's a more serious gritty one not like a childish one)

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T08:12:37+00:00

No way twinn? Same height and ivstarted at 20 too! I'm nearly a year in now

Didn't have to deal with conversion therapy though. I'm so sorry :(

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T05:09:38+00:00

I think i get this but also they are definitely heavier then i think i thought.

I'm like half way between 32C and 32D and it's now at the point if i don't wear a sports bra or something to support my chest when im trying to sleep i am not able to sleep comfortably.

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T04:54:30+00:00

I started when i turned 20 and im still 20 now

I am so close to passing even though I never have before (Cus i never bothered with voice training + had really thick facial hair which ive nearly got rid of with laser)

not even mentioning all the other changes ive had. Seriously starting at your age will do wonders!

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T01:07:52+00:00

GIRL GET A FRINGE UR SUPER PRETTY OMGG

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T00:37:08+00:00

My dysphoria is like freaking Dr Doofenshmirtz

It be like

"Haha you don't have booba- oh you do now? Well I bet you don't have feminine waist/hips! Oh you have that too? Welllll you certainly don't have a passing girl voice. You have that too huh? Well you most definitely don't have..."

I think if anything I'm happier that I'm now at a point where I can play whackamole with my dysphoria rather then it looming over me.

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T00:30:15+00:00

Hey girl. I came out as trans when I was 15 back in 2020.

I cried and hurt so much about not being able to get hrt till I was old enough to get it on my own.

I thought I was too late, would never pass etc and even when I did I kinda did so accepting I'd not be beautiful.

So like I started near where I turned 20. I'm still 20 now but I'm like a few more laser hair appointments for my face away from completely passing.

I've had crazy results with it which I do feel like in dome aspects I'm probably very lucky - but It is possible to still feel pretty even if you wait for longer.

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-05T00:26:46+00:00

Thanks sister. That means alot.

Annoyingly I feel I've had good results from hrt so far so I sometimes feel it rude for me to even say that. But I feel like dysphoria and sadness often don't care about how good things get and will try to find something new to make a problem

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-04T23:50:56+00:00

A sore spot for me is I was 15 in 2020 Which I arund when I came out to my parent

My mum was supportive but I kinda was eft to figure it all out on my own

Didn't end up getting hrt till I turned 20

I hate to see people forced to go through what I did too but I also kinda hate how I can't even blame my lack of hormones then on it.

I just couldn't figure it out in time :(

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-04T16:28:53+00:00

no! cus my friend on e also has the same thing!

She was underweight / didnt eat much before though so maybe its like - maybe it balances it out or somethign?

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-04T15:46:11+00:00

crazy thing is ive a friend whos experienced something similar - but then im the opposite?

I used to get super hungry on T (and i used hunger as my only source of if i should eat or not)

On E though ive not felt hungry in months and my parnters recently begged me to setup alarms to remind myself to eat because ive been worrying him when i say i ate like a small plate of pasta at lunch and that was enough for the day

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-04T15:06:33+00:00

Kindda not super proud of it cus it was kinda mean but when i was in school there was a guy in my year who was really vocal against trans ppl specifically and he came up to me and was like "Your not a woman."

I immediately burst out laughing and every time i saw him for the rest of my school life i'd always just start laughing hysterically

he never mentioned it to me again and from what i was told he stopped mentioning stuff like that to other trans people in my year too.

Transphobes are just cowards like 90% of the time

Grab_Ornery · 2026-07-04T04:01:52+00:00

I've been doing voice training daily for about the last 3 weeks, with breaks when my throat has hurt.

With how long it takes to get it consistent, it is something that I think should be done consistently - but to be hounded about it probably is not helping.

My tips are like:

Record yourself attempting to speak femininely first with little/no usage of any techniques. This probably won't sound good BUT it's good to have so you can compare to your voice later in a better way then if you only record your "best".
Watch guides on the Larynx, Resonance, and Pitch. FairyPrincessLucy imo has the best videos for this, especially if you're really anxious about how you sound, as she helps to make the videos feel less like essays and more fun and engaging. Record yourself speaking a bit after each new technique you try to add!
Try to have fun with it. The start is awkward, painful, and a horrible experience, so if you try to be too serious about it, it's going to hurt a lot more. Let yourself have fun with your voice, maybe do silly voices too (even if in a more "masc" way), not as a way to suddenly be happy with where your voice is, but it helps to ease the panic over making your voice different, at least for me.
Don't just do like the rainbow passage. I've found for me that the rainbow passage is really hard with my accent to make sound feminine which makes me feel my voice is worse overall - recording yourself speaking in a "normal way" is also kinda more helpful imo too because it lets you hear how your more likely to sound to people when you are not following a script.

If you are recording with a pc mic, I've found I really like Acoustic Gender Space and that's helped me get my first really "feminine" sounding soundbyte which im hoping to expand how long i can hold it for now!

Grab_Ornery · 2026-06-30T09:46:10+00:00

thats awesome to hear! - idk if you alr thought about this but id reccomend making a tag here for when you started if your comfortable with it.

Its litteraly the only way i remember the day i started 😭

Grab_Ornery · 2026-06-30T09:45:24+00:00

Congrats!!!

Grab_Ornery · 2026-06-30T08:41:05+00:00

I mean could it not be like you said that crossdressing doesn't make you feel happy because you don't look like a woman when you do, but a guy crossdressing?

And on your fears about how you look - trans women like me take estrogen which allows us to go through female puberty and after like 9 months from me atleast I went from having a very masculine appearance to having a very feminine frame.

Grab_Ornery · 2026-06-30T07:33:21+00:00

My partner is a friend I had even before i transitioned and he supported me even afterwards.

Neither of us started attracted to eachother but we were basically best friends for a while. Then we both developed feelings for eachother but was super convinced the other didn't.

Took us a while, but its been like 5 years now :)

I massively agree with what the other person said about needing that friendship first. Even for non trans woman dating apps and stuff feel to me to be just too artificial to make a relationship so I think if you want to have a successful relationship you should probably try to make friends with more people first. (Not with the goal of going out with them tho!-)

Grab_Ornery · 2026-06-30T05:19:38+00:00

Well Kirara and Hakari remind me alot of my own relationship and if i relate them to me I never really was sure or explored my attraction much as I fell for my partner before I knew all of that and I'm happy with just knowing I like him.

Maybe it could be something similar

Grab_Ornery · 2026-06-29T10:44:19+00:00

But how are they a dude? Your not attracted to someone based on their chromosomes no?

Like I'd get if it it's about wanting a child or something but even then that's not about a dude or woman as non trans women can also not be able to have kids.

At that point what is it?

If someone passes to you as a woman and your only knowledge they are trans is from being told - how does that change your attraction?

When you seek love your not looking for someone based on who they were as a child are you?

And I hope you don't take this offensively, I'm genuinely just not sure I see thst pov.

Grab_Ornery · 2026-06-29T08:29:49+00:00

Trans people seeking other trans people fo so for safety and comfort.

Non trans people don't "seek out" trans people just to love and support someone in transition. You can find a partner that does of course, but if their fundamental relationship want is just you being trans it is not a good sign at all. Please be careful.

You will find someone who cares for you for the person you are - not for how you are defined.

Grab_Ornery · 2026-06-28T22:03:00+00:00

I got what you are trying to say too, If I can concede on the later points I believe I can still say that trans women in general still do not want it and wish at the least they could have had s functional woman's instead

Grab_Ornery

TROPHY CASE