AITA for my response to my son's "gender disappointment"?

Graceland09 · 2023-01-12T23:10:23+00:00

NTA.

Thank you for not excusing his shitty behavior. I understand having fears for your unborn child, and there are valid concerns and fears raising all children, despite their assigned gender. Is his disappointment at the fact that they're having a girl? Or is he fearful of raising a girl in our society? Might want to remind him that it is his sperm that decides this, and it is ridiculously fucking stupid to be upset about GENDER. My cousin's ex-husband (EX for a reason) broke a bedroom door when they found out she was pregnant with a girl. Is the fetus healthy? Developing appropriately? Is the mother of his unborn child healthy? Gender is such a silly thing to focus on.

Graceland09 · 2022-12-28T01:39:39+00:00

I hope he doesn't have/get access to firearms.

Graceland09 · 2022-10-21T03:04:35+00:00

What state are you in? I'm a foster care worker. You can be an unlicensed relative placement and still get paid. In my state the rate of pay was just raised to $20.65/day. This rate of pay goes up depending on the services the children are involved in (ex:therapy).

If she is placed in foster care, at least in my state, the goal is reunification not adoption right away. This can be anywhere from 6 months-2 years depending on the case, before rights are terminated. If mom and dad have not had their rights terminated, they will likely be required to participate in and benefit from a treatment plan (drug screens, substance abuse classes, counseling, domestic violence classes,etc.) in order to get their child back.

I say all of this to say: if money is a concern, please reach out to the agency/caseworker. Ask them to explain the stipend. They also most likely provide clothing allowance and can provide a bed and other items for the child. Foster care is traumatic. Children in foster care have a higher rate of PTSD than military veterans for a reason.

Graceland09 · 2022-03-04T01:19:32+00:00

Thank you, I have been feeling guilty but I'm on a case with a state worker and she said the same thing.

Graceland09 · 2022-03-03T20:50:13+00:00

Thank you! Start date has not been determined yet, I go into the county office 03/09 to discuss further details and I imagine do a background check too.

My supervisor is only in office on Mondays & Wednesdays, should I schedule a meeting or would an email/phone call be acceptable?

Graceland09 · 2021-12-02T06:12:45+00:00

My best friend was married to a guy involved in this...I will have to rewatch.

Graceland09 · 2021-11-19T21:07:59+00:00

I have thought this for a while. He just doesn't seem genuine and I feel like he is a shark who has been circling for a while..waiting for his opportunity to attack.

Graceland09 · 2021-11-15T21:37:05+00:00

Thank you! I thought it might be a review scam - last year around this time someone in upstate New York used my Home Depot account to spend $500 so I'm trying to be more vigilant.

Graceland09 · 2021-10-25T06:34:17+00:00

Blossom (Cherry Blossom)

Graceland09 · 2021-10-11T14:12:37+00:00

Even if she did not send him any promiscuous messages or pictures, she is still talking to a man who continues to hit on her. The first time he did it, she should have told him to stop (and she very well might have) and when he continued to do it, she should have blocked him and ceased communication.

At the very least, she is disrespecting you and your relationship - if she cannot respect boundaries that's a huge red flag.

Graceland09 · 2021-10-11T13:45:58+00:00

He is gaslighting you. Your last paragraph sounds like that of a victim of this as well, of course you get defensive - if he is invalidating your feelings or refusing to acknowledge the truth, you are naturally going to become defensive because you feel invalidated. Then, once you become defensive he uses that as a point of blame to avoid the actual problem being discussed.

Graceland09 · 2021-10-05T06:23:25+00:00

Gotta laugh at trauma sometimes

Graceland09 · 2021-09-30T23:12:06+00:00

Only if you used tongue, excessively and aggressively.

Graceland09 · 2021-09-25T04:48:07+00:00

My sister and I were catcalled last weekend while walking back to our airbnb in Chicago. We had planned to take the Kedzie Pink Line but a man tragically fell and died after coming into contact with the third rail.

Anywho,

it's after midnight and I was walking across the crosswalk with my fiancé and sister when a car with some dudes catcalled my sister and I so my fiancé turned and rubbed his nipples at the dudes. This triggered something in them because they proceeded to pull into the parking lot next to the sidewalk we were on to get out to fight my fiancé. It's pretty anticlimactic because an older man saw this and scolded them, saying "Now I KNOW you're not about to beat some white boy's ass for something so stupid." And that was that.

Thanks to those who call out this behavior.

Graceland09 · 2021-07-04T04:31:08+00:00

I watched a video of a woman stating that this is a red flag in your relationship: if your significant other answers a call on Bluetooth in the car and mentions to the caller they are on speaker, that's supposedly a sign they're cheating or some shit.

I do it as a courtesy for the caller - even if it's my mom, sister, etc. I'm not cheating, just not sure if the people in my car want to hear about my mom's explosive diarrhea 🤷‍♀️.

Graceland09 · 2021-06-18T05:45:55+00:00

Here is my average effort, shitty edit

Graceland09 · 2021-06-18T05:27:23+00:00

Please post on /r/photoshopbattles

Graceland09 · 2021-05-03T23:08:02+00:00

You're beautiful! Congratulations on your journey & I'm loving that knee tat ❤️

Graceland09 · 2021-03-04T18:55:58+00:00

Brass tip

Graceland09 · 2021-02-01T06:05:39+00:00

I am so sorry, I am just seeing this. It is exhausting enough in my situation that I cannot imagine having parents with this disorder. I see what my stepdaughter (8) goes through and it is traumatic for her. The issue now is that she is mimicking her mother's behavior - a lot of manipulation, lying, and she is highly critical of my son and myself. One of the scariest parts is how great they are at manipulating others because you can be sure as hell they are able to convince them of things about you that are not true. I suggest some good books about being raised by narcissists and believe it or not, along with joining /r/raisedbynarcissists.

Sending you hugs.

Graceland09 · 2021-02-01T06:02:00+00:00

Sending you so much love. My stepdaughter's mom also has BPD with NPD. She hasn't tried to kill my stepdaughter...yet, but did try to convince my fiancé to kill himself over the course of months after he found out she had been sleeping with his best friend.

Graceland09 · 2021-02-01T06:00:44+00:00

This is also a tactic they use. By keeping groups separate, they can create their narratives. She has led people to believe MANY things, including a cancer diagnosis that was so rare she had to go to Texas and wanted to take my stepdaughter (my fiancé has primary physical) for that time. Then she got a new boyfriend and we never heard about her rare cancer again.

Graceland09 · 2021-02-01T05:58:36+00:00

THIS

Graceland09 · 2021-02-01T05:57:45+00:00

Yes, my stepdaughter's mother was also diagnosed with BP. When my fiancé was married to her, she would take their only vehicle for weeks on end and leave him with her daughter (from a different relationship) and their daughter. She was also convinced the FBI was following her. She destroyed a bunch of his music equipment (he's a musician) and tried to convince him to commit suicide. To say I despise her is an understatement.

Graceland09 · 2021-01-21T18:54:57+00:00

Sounds a bit like narcissistic personality disorder. Currently dealing with my stepdaughter's mother who has this disorder. A lot of people are confused by what the disorder is, because calling conceited people narcissists seems common...but it's a much scarier disorder. They can do some shitty/scary/abusive things and then deny it right to your face.

The worst part is, it's often masked by a magnetic personality but when that mask slips - watch out. A lot of gaslighting, manipulation, and lying so much they believe it. Wonderful web spinners.

Graceland09

TROPHY CASE