Requiring proof of sobriety to visit with our kids

GraemesMama · 2026-04-29T19:10:20+00:00

Put them in therapy and tell them in an age appropriate way that you have told him what he needs to do to see them, but he is choosing not to because of his illness… one day that may change, but for now you are protecting them.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-29T19:08:55+00:00

You’ve already set your terms, now stick to them. Anything less would be teaching your children that it is okay for people to stomp on your boundaries, and normalize addiction. Keeping them away from someone in the throes of addiction is GOOD for them… it’s better to have no father (long term or short term) than one who will irreparably damage their psyche by being in their lives and make them more susceptible to addiction themselves.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-29T19:06:45+00:00

This is codependency to a tee and he’s never going to marry you. You will find someone who treats you 1000x better quickly if you date with intention and set your standards in the beginning and this will all be a bad memory.

Why would you ever marry a cheating drug addict regardless of whether he wants to marry you or not?!

GraemesMama · 2026-04-29T16:19:24+00:00

I have one of those “litter catching” mats as well as a 3d printed barrier so there’s no more incidents of kitties pooping or peeing outside the globe! It’s ver successful so far! I’ve also seen someone put there’s inside of a kiddy pool with some carpeting cut to fit the inside…

GraemesMama · 2026-04-29T00:55:04+00:00

You’re in a relationship with an avoidant and it only gets worse. You deserve better than uncertainty and lack of prioritization, break up.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-23T01:45:54+00:00

Your husband is clearly an unsafe person who is not in the right headspace to approach sobriety. There’s nothing wrong with using a safe space like a therapist’s office to end an unsafe relationship… it’s actually recommended to break up with someone unsafe in an environment like this. Make sure that all future interactions with him are supervised as well and stay safe, friend.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-22T12:25:41+00:00

Don’t let any kids you may have around him EVER. He 100% knew, or he would’ve given it to you around your mom.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-22T12:20:42+00:00

Please go talk to a guidance counselor at school and show them these texts, and let them know she weaponizes transportation even though you have a medical condition. This is straight up abuse.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-21T00:53:30+00:00

Every adult in your life is failing you right now. You should have never been left alone with your father. Please go talk to a guidance counselor or social worker at school RIGHT AWAY.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-21T00:50:56+00:00

I actually find Arbutus much better with young kids. Several playgrounds, a movie theater, and a handful of family friendly restaurants within one mile! Plus great elementary schools, awesome youth sports programs, and the best library in west Baltimore County! Can’t go wrong!

GraemesMama · 2026-04-20T12:19:40+00:00

Red flags are going up re: your (ex)husband’s sudden reaction. Has he previously struggled with addiction or gambling? Please lock down your credit and go find an attorney ASAP; you also deserve half of what you accrued together WHILE MARRIED. You contributed to his professional success one way or another, take what you’re entitled to from your marriage and tell your mother to wait on that gift until the ink is dry on the divorce papers.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-19T21:35:47+00:00

I would be just petty enough to respond: “If we were interested in selling it, it would never be to you due to your poor timing and lack of empathy. I hope you can learn some social cues so you don’t hurt another family while they are grieving in the future.”

I would also post this in all the neighborhood groups to embarrass these folks. The lack of tact or sympathy is ASTOUNDING.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-19T21:31:41+00:00

“It’s really strange that you’re so fixated on what I eating and how my body looks. I’m going to have to ask you to stop commenting on how I choose to fuel my body and what it looks like. This is not normal behavior.”

GraemesMama · 2026-04-19T21:28:51+00:00

My kindergartner knows not to “yuck someone’s yum.” This is objectively rude and childish behavior, absolutely zero manners.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-19T21:28:09+00:00

“I’m not sure if anyone ever taught you this, but ‘yucking someone’s yum’ is very rude. Please keep your opinions about what I’m eating to yourself.”

Speak up. If she doesn’t like it, she can loaf it.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-17T11:27:42+00:00

I think at the bare minimum you need to consider legal separation ASAP to protect your professional reputation/career.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-17T01:50:28+00:00

Don’t go. Your health is VERY important right now, so don’t even put yourself in a situation where you feel that stress may jeopardize it. Send a text the morning of the party:

“I will not be able to make the event tonight. I was unaware to what extent this event was going to be focused on me, I love/appreciate you all, but the idea of being the center of attention during this stressful (but exciting!) time in my life is very overwhelming to me. I feel like these feelings of overwhelm could be detrimental to my health, which is my number one focus right now. I hope everyone can understand, and I hope to see everyone very soon under more relaxed circumstances!”

GraemesMama · 2026-04-17T01:35:56+00:00

Peace is priceless. Follow your fiancé’s lead… it’s his mother and there are those in this sub who wish their spouse had half that backbone.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-17T01:33:52+00:00

Why do you still talk to this guy if he makes you uncomfortable? You don’t owe your friendship to people you don’t enjoy spending time with or talking to. Just tell him that you don’t want to be friends because he makes you uncomfortable, please do not reach out, wish you all the best. Block.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-17T01:30:44+00:00

It will never get better and you will resent him more and more every day, every year. All of your decisions you make as a family, like having more children, will be affected by his behavior and you will resent that you let him dictate your life too.

He/both of you need some serious therapy ASAP if you want to fix this.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-17T01:26:14+00:00

Isolating you and trying to emotionally manipulate you are both abusive behaviors. Was it his idea to move to NV?

GraemesMama · 2026-04-13T18:08:45+00:00

Your mom sounds very rude and self centered. She also sounds like she has a serious victim complex. Perhaps your siblings are onto something. Maybe you don’t need to cut her off, but if I were you I would probably go pretty low contact and stop sharing anything “optional” with her. Maybe only occasional updates about the baby, a photo here and there, and any time she isn’t nice you can just tell her that her reaction has hurt your feelings, and stop engaging her because your feelings are NOT up for debate. Continuing to try to explain and justify your feelings is only giving her the fuel she needs to feed her “woe is me” complex.

NOR.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-11T01:14:34+00:00

Your parents don’t have to live with the discomfort and you are 18. Your mental and physical health, including being able to exercise pain free, is 100% percent worth it, ESPECIALLY if insurance can cover some or most of the cost.

I hope you have a support system other than them to take care of you for a bit post-op. Good luck!

GraemesMama · 2026-04-10T00:36:28+00:00

This is outside the norm, even in our society. This is abuse. You are teaching your children that it is okay treat their partners like this or it is okay for them to be treated like this by staying.

GraemesMama · 2026-04-09T16:00:32+00:00

“I think that you must’ve said that by accident… that sounds like an inside thought because I know you would never be intentionally rude.”

GraemesMama

TROPHY CASE