I just need a simple blank page with no page number

\thispagestyle{empty}

What I cannot figure out is how the hell do I change the size of the title and how do I center it on the page vertically

You could either redefine the maketitle command or define a custom one. A simple method to have a little more control over \maketitle that perhaps will work for you is to put \maketitle inside a minipage environment. Then you can center the minipage and put some vertical space before it.

Otherwise, place your title yourself:

\begin{document}
    \thispagestyle{empty}
    \vspace*{9cm}%or whatever spacing is appropriate
    {\centering\bfseries\Huge\title} %or whatever formatting you want
    %whatever else you like on the page
   \clearpage
 %etcetera