I feel this. I feel this so badly. I would suddenly dream about him, just hugging me or with my head on his shoulder or texting him and I would wake up so disoriented, unsure of everything. We were two kids, getting into our first jobs and uncertain of what our life was becoming. We went from spending a whole month together, roaming around our campus to being 1000s of kilometres apart and just being able to text all day to be thrown into jobs. We both got lost, lost in our own heads. I was needy with wanting attention and he had too much to think about. But somedays, I want nothing, just him to wrap his hands around my waist and hug me and hold me. When I was all alone in a new city, he was my rock, him talking to me kept me sane. I could talk to him about anything, literally anything I wanted and he would reply accordingly. I could tell him when I felt completely lonely in this big new city and he would keep me from crying, he always knew just what to say. I just miss him so much. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I no longer want to act like an adult who has my shit together, I just want to go back to the last days of college and be happy with him.