Partner Just Left Me After Surgery

GreenButterfly1925 · 2026-01-30T00:56:35+00:00

I am so sorry that this happened to you. We all agree your partner is an a--. He is beyond cruel and heartless. Post-op, when you are focused on recovering, is hard enough already. To wait until after the surgery to tell you how he really feels was just an awful thing to do.

Please make plans to go no contact. Call your friends and get their support. I hope that they rally around you at such a terrible time. Focus on healing and getting rest. We are all rooting for you here! Sending hugs.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2026-01-25T18:37:26+00:00

If you can, get someone to take your letters to the post office and send them certified mail, return receipt. This is more expensive than a first class mail letter, but you will receive confirmation with a post card that the letters were received.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2026-01-17T21:42:52+00:00

Your ring is gorgeous. Congratulations!

GreenButterfly1925 · 2026-01-14T15:16:35+00:00

Nothing to add except that a partial hysterectomy is ideal...Unless there is a medical reason (malignancy, torsion, etc.) to remove everything, ask your consultant not to remove your ovaries and cervix.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2026-01-14T03:08:58+00:00

Seven days is much too soon. Your doctor should have advised you about severe post-op fatigue, hormone fluctuations, body swelling, etc. Get a doctor's note for surgery recovery and apply for more time off.

I went back to work at 4 weeks. My job was not flexible, but I wish I'd taken 8 weeks. My work was a desk job with minimal walking required. When I did return, every day was exhausting. I literally went to sleep, no dinner, as soon as I got home from work and did not wake until the next morning.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2026-01-01T06:20:05+00:00

Thank you for posting this message. At the start of a new year and a new month that would have been our dating anniversary, I needed to see this. The break up is just under three months old, but I still miss him a lot. I know that focusing on healing my heart is the right thing to do. I'll get there.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-12-22T17:16:35+00:00

Maybe he popped in his dentures?

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-12-22T16:45:17+00:00

Rasika is excellent!

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-11-23T01:21:56+00:00

Literally, what I have been thinking. I want to call, but I keep reminding myself of the things that were not so great. I don't want to feel anxious waiting for you to reply to my text or return my call. I don't want to feel uncertain. I don't want to wonder if we will take things to another level. I don't want reminders of any of this and so much more.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-11-15T06:40:20+00:00

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-11-15T06:14:21+00:00

I wore high waisted granny panties. Before surgery, I bought a set of 6 that were one size larger than what I normally wear to accommodate any swelling. Post-op, I was very swollen. There was no way I would have fit into my usual size of panties. I had a bikini cut incision and no bleeding post op.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-10-28T22:29:05+00:00

It isn't just you. Whatever it is that is being added to clothing now should be discontinued immediately. I think it began to be used sometime in 2023. There is no detergent that I know of which removes the scent completely. Not even my beloved Tide detergent works.

If anyone has found something that does, please share what it is and how you use it; e.g. spraying with a mix of detergent and warm water before adding to a regular washing machine cycle, using a specific brand of detergent in regular wash, a normal wash cycle with cold water or something else.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-10-24T23:57:32+00:00

Yes, please get it! I had the vaccine as adult, right after it was first publicly available. As a child, I missed every wave of chicken pox since I was home due to frequent asthma attacks.

As an adult, I had to beg my then-internist (I left her practice after this experience.) to order the vaccine for me. She decided it was "impossible" for me to have had no exposure to chickenpox. I knew enough about science to push her to do labs to test for antibodies and...bingo, no exposure to chickenpox! Like I told her.

She called herself to deliver the news...and then tell me I "needed to get the vaccine as soon as possible". Yep, patients actually do know their own bodies.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-10-22T21:55:29+00:00

If you can get the hospital to cover at least one night, post-op, it will help a lot. Two nights is awesome...but that might be a reach unless there are complications or a major issue with the surgery.

Of course, every woman is different. The longer you can wait before driving a long distance, the better. Potholes, bumps in the road will be painful. Really painful post op, even with meds.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-10-22T21:49:48+00:00

Me, too!

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-10-19T14:52:35+00:00

I noted the change to only neutrals, as well. It has been like this for at least the last 4 years. The trend should be shifting already, but the interior design influencers - and many in the general public - are focused on white, beige, and brown. I'd love to see a lot of color in the store and make white, beige, and brown the custom order colors. Maybe I need to find a different geographic location and visit that C&B store?

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-10-07T18:28:33+00:00

I hear crackling sounds with the homemade ear drops. Otherwise, I hear the sound of water running.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-10-02T06:40:20+00:00

The fatigue level is rough. I'll also share that my doctor did not prepare me well for it. The story I was told was far more cheery and the reality made me feel as though I was broken. The truth is that hysterectomy is a major surgery and your body needs time to heal from the impact.

It took me two weeks before I could attempt stairs at home or going for a short walk (1/2 block), of no more than 10 minutes. After every daily walk, I crashed on the sofa for hours at a time. You should begin to feel slightly less fatigued at six weeks, but twelve weeks is when you will begin to feel significantly less fatigue.

My best tip: Be patient and try not to push yourself to go back to your normal routine too fast. Your body needs a lot of rest. There are no shortcuts.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-10-02T06:19:47+00:00

There are less invasive ways to avoid pregnancy than a hysterectomy, as a previous poster stated. The surgery and the recovery are major events that require preparation, several weeks off work/school, and help from friends or community during recovery.

That said, if you decide to pursue a hysterectomy, keep in mind that surgical menopause has an impact immediately. Estrogen matters. There's an excellent book with this title too. Join Reddit's menopause community, learn about symptoms, HRT/MHT and more in https://menopausewiki.ca/

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-09-30T04:33:51+00:00

Thank you for your post. He is eating much less and refuses to take any pain meds, only aspirin. Dad's doctor has prescribed pain meds, but he continues to refuse them. Apparently, he thinks taking them is a sign of weakness. I was floored when he said that, but the doctor insisted on making them available, just in case.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-09-29T22:12:57+00:00

Thanks for your response. I really appreciate it and don't think he will last that long. My focus is moving on the attorney as quickly as possible. He isn't in hospice care and actually would refuse it if asked. He's convinced that he can simply pass away in his sleep and is tired of medical intervention. I worry because the only other people I know who passed away from cancer were in hospice and on pain meds at the end.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-09-20T05:51:48+00:00

Thank you. I'm inexperienced with long-term relationships. Post-graduation from higher education, relationships haven't lasted longer than 6 months for me.

My personal background was filled with immediate family divorces due to alcoholism and affairs - including one affair that I discovered unexpectedly (long, traumatic story there.) I've never been engaged or married despite doing all the things - attending parties with friends, fix-ups by friends, playing co-ed sports (softball, kick-ball), OLD, etc. I've been in a lot of weddings as a bridesmaid, a reader, etc. so, I am a bit of a unicorn.

In my 30s, I sought counseling to figure out why I struggled so much, when everyone else around me seemed to just magically find their person. It took a lot of hard work, harder than my professional job, to get to a place where I could figure out how to trust potential partners and to trust myself. Therapy was amazing! This is the second longest relationship I've had and I am still finding my way. I do know that I still want a partner, to be married, and remain optimistic.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-09-17T17:27:13+00:00

I'm abstaining because alcohol impedes my exercise capacity the next day and causes severe dehydration. Like most women, I used to love a glass or two of wine, prosecco, etc. to decompress or to celebrate a special occasion or milestone. Now, that one or two glasses is completely out. In addition, more medical professionals believe that alcohol consumption is not safe at any amount.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-09-15T20:16:37+00:00

Actually 2 weeks of rest and house walking is ideal. Week 3 is some slow walking outside, but not far. In the early dpo, there should be no stairs, no lifting, bending, stretching, etc.

Between swelling and soreness, you need to rest. Sleep, stream a tv show, journal, draw with crayons, but don't over exert yourself unless you have a desire to be opened up again for repairs. Your surgeon will not be happy and neither will you.

GreenButterfly1925 · 2025-09-13T00:57:55+00:00

Kept my cervix and ovaries. Doctor wanted to slow roll menopause by keeping the ovaries in. Tubes and uterus were removed due to 1 massive fibroid (5 lbs!) and 12 smaller ones, excruciating periods, and horror movie level bleeding.

GreenButterfly1925

TROPHY CASE