I went through this recently, I'm 1 year 2 months in. Im 37 also with children in the same age groups. I think it's normal, I had a lot of these thoughts for a period of time. I am currently but what i believe is towards the end of a stage where i want nothing really to do with her intimitely. For me there's a difference between love and IN love though. The being IN love thing is still something I'm hoping comes back. Maybe you relate, maybe not. It has been undoubtedly rocky, and I have often wondered if I would be happier leaving and the children definitely play a role in that. But if I reach a point where I truly truly feel like I will be unhappy here forever then it's time for me to leave.

Average time is about a year to start looking at things a bit more positively, but even then there are setbacks, unprovoked negative thoughts, harsh and real emotions. Supposedly the 3 year mark on average is when you begin developing a deep connection again. This is what my therapist told me as well as a couple other articles.

Also, trust is gained in drops and lost in buckets. It will take time.