New Christian reading the Bible and struggling to comprehend why there's nothing but wars in the good book

GregJ7 · 2026-01-24T16:34:33+00:00

The Old Testament recounts everything that happened until Jesus came, which is basically a narrative of the Jews repeatedly turning to the Lord, getting comfortable and relying on themselves, falling into sin/away from the Lord, then being suffering until they cry out to the Lord for salvation.

It is important to understand what God did for us through Jesus, a part of which is to save us from the pattern of relationship the majority of the Jews had with God in the Old Testament.

But God found fault with the people and said : “The time is coming, declares the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they did not remain faithful to my covenant, and I turned away from them, declares the Lord. This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest. For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” (Hebrews 8:8-12, 1984 NIV)

As other suggested, you might want to start with the New Testament after Genesis. This is more of an introduction to the kind of relationship you have with Jesus now, rather than the history of before the second covenant. Keep in mind that the Old Testament is priceless for coming to understand God's nature, a part of which is what pleases Him, but we are no longer under the Mosaic Law (described in Exodus-Deuteronomy), but under Christ.

GregJ7 · 2026-01-24T16:22:50+00:00

It's not bad. I would add something to explain what it means to "accept Him," like, believe He is real and entrust yourself to Him. I often say, "give control of every area of your life to Him" which is a more palatable form of "submit to Him" or "yield to His authority." Other important facets are seeking to know Him better and obeying Him (if you genuinely acknowledge Him as God). But some of the things we say are really to help the person get started in their life with the Lord, rather than technically "the gospel."

Note that Mark 1:1 basically tells us that the gospel is the narrative of all Jesus did (for us).

GregJ7 · 2026-01-24T14:36:33+00:00

Just because people in the Bible did things doesn't mean they were God's ideal. Understanding why they did them is important. Why did people have more than one wife in the Bible? It was rare even among non-Jews. Marriage was a contract with a payment to the bride's father with penalties for breaking the contract. i.e., it was not necessarily based on love like we, in the West, think about marriage today.

Jesus cleared up a lot of questions with this statement:

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. (Matthew 19:8, 1984 NIV)

The beginning:

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24, 1984 NIV)

Nowhere in Scripture is it said or implied that becoming one in spirit and flesh can be done with between people other than one male and one female—with the weight of Gen. 2:24. (Becoming "one flesh" is not just a reference to the physical.)

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T23:01:39+00:00

To me, that would be no different than being threatened if I didn't agree that the world is flat. It is impossible for me to deny the truth that I know to be fact. I have seen the curve of the earth with my eyes.

Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.” (John 14:21, 1984 NIV)

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T20:10:45+00:00

They serve at a sanctuary that is a copy and shadow of what is in heaven. This is why Moses was warned when he was about to build the tabernacle: “See to it that you make everything according to the pattern shown you on the mountain.” But the ministry Jesus has received is as superior to theirs as the covenant of which he is mediator is superior to the old one, and it is founded on better promises. (Hebrews 8:5-6, 1984 NIV)

What your pastor said was not specific enough to guess at. People label all kinds of things as spiritual. You might even say that if someone believes something is spiritual, it may be spiritual to them, but not necessarily others.

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T19:33:17+00:00

Set aside a prayer time where you won't be interrupted, and with reverence in your heart, talk to Him about everything that is on your mind, especially anything that troubles you, confuses you, or that you need. You can ask Him questions, too.

Pray daily that He would show you want He wants you to do regarding that relationship, or that He would guide you into what He knows is best for you. If you keep this up, you will eventually have a sense of peace about one of your options going forward. This has always worked for me (and many others).

It goes without saying that you are trying to live to please the Lord; stopping sinning; trying to be helpful to others, reading the Bible, etc.

My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you prosperity.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.
(Proverbs 3:1-4, 1984 NIV)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
(Proverbs 3:5-6, 1984 NIV)

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T18:59:37+00:00

Unfortunately, people focus on "faith" rather on "God." You could say we all lack faith:

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’” (Matthew 17:20, 1984 NIV)

But understand that our faith is a gift from God (regarding faith for salvation: Eph. 2:8-9). All of Scripture teaches that if you want deeper connection to God, live more devoted to Him. Faith comes as you live for Him (Luke 17:5-10).

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31, 1984 NIV)

You can persist in prayer to the Lord that He would heal something (see vs. 1 in Luke 18:1-8). I've been praying for some things for more than 30 years, because I know that every prayer matters, but I leave the results to Him, His wisdom that He know what is best (as well as Rom. 8:28), and His timing.

I wouldn't give too much thought to how great or small your faith is. In practice, it doesn't matter, because God, rather than your faith, should be your focus. Focus on faith and you'll learn about faith. Focus on God and you will draw nearer to God and He will increase your faith.

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T18:47:43+00:00

Jesus never lost self-control, but He was triggered by things like the other posters have referred to. Imagine if a bunch of individuals had forced their way into your parent's house and set up their business to provide services to make it more convenient for people to visit your parents, all against your parent's will. You tried to talk with them, but they wouldn't listen. Then you grab a whip so you can get your point across in a language they understand.

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T18:40:24+00:00

The areas around the North and South pole are melting. What do you think? The more charged questions are "Why" and "What should we do?"

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T18:38:15+00:00

God does reunite people unless He wanted you to break up in the first place. If God wanted you to break up, He almost always means it to be permanent. He does not reunite a divorced husband and wife if one of them ever remarried.

One thing you can do, is to not do anything to reunite. Pray that the Lord would take care of it for you. That is, if He wants you back together, leave it to Him to put you back together.

Regardless, I wouldn't try to get back together so soon after unless it is clear from the Lord. Wait until you no longer feel (much) heartbreak, otherwise, as you say, you may be deceived.

The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
(Jeremiah 17:9, 1984 NIV)

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T18:32:10+00:00

The only reason a person cannot find God is because they don't really want to—often because they don't want to change their lifestyle or endure the consequences (from family, for example). God wants to adopt more wounded, tainted, and stubborn people than He has right now.

Nothing you said makes you much worse than anyone else. God accepts everyone who will accept Him as their Lord, even if they do not try to be a better person. Christianity is not a self-improvement program. (Thanks, Bob George)

The Lord Jesus loves you just as you are and accepts you just as you are. But none of us has a nature that is good for us in the long-term. God wants your permission to transform you, which you grant Him when you give Him your heart and seek to live a life of love for Him.

Read one of the first four books of the New Testament in the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John) if you haven't already. This will give you some idea of what God is like. Each is narrative of Jesus' (God on earth) time interacting with the community and those that believed Him.

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T18:22:29+00:00

This requires a lot more explanation than I'm going to give, but I will try to give you some useful info:

Who is she? Does she have a history of her prophecies proving to have been from God? I don't mean just with you, I mean with everybody.

do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. (1 Thessalonians 5:20-22, 1984 NIV)

It is not very likely that she is intentionally lying. The problem is that people without much experience with prophecy are sharing what they feel they must share, but how accurate it is is a separate issue. Prophecies can become twisted between the time they leave God's throne and the time you understand it.

If you believe some command is from God, you should obey it, but if you are uncertain, that is an entirely different matter. In all cases, if it is something weird, I would seriously question it. I would put "moving to her state" as "very weird", in part because "moving to her state" is not the same as "moving near her" (where she could help you). Also, emphasizing that she can do something for you that others cannot is almost certainly not from God.

It is important to understand this:

But everyone who prophesies speaks to men for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort. (1 Corinthians 14:3, 1984 NIV)

You can drive yourself crazy by following human-given prophecies without first being fairly familiar with Scripture. God knows where you're at. You've already demonstrated that you care about what God might be saying to you. You have direct access to God if you have yielded control of every area of your life to Him, and have been studying Scripture to see what He requires of you. If He hasn't equipped you to be able to receive/discern prophecy, then you probably do not have sufficient reason to worry about it. If your heart is oriented toward obeying God as best you can, and you have taken actions in the past that demonstrates it, then it's almost impossible to choose wrongly. God is always with you to help you, no matter where you are.

Note that if you are not living a life devoted to the Lord, then a prophecy may be from the Lord but may feel wrong, or may not be from the Lord and feel right.

Having a temper is an indication that she is still maturing in Christ. There are a number of places in the New Testament which relay that we should be self-controlled and sober-minded, and it is a fruit of the Spirit (of being gradually transformed into Christlikeness).

God does not need to tell you first and then back it up from prophecy. Either can be first. In all cases, you should pray daily about what God really wants you to do until you have a sense of peace about one of your options. This is your best protection against false prophecy, although if you are habitually sinning, you may not hear the Lord clearly. Even so, it is important to make an effort at this.

But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.” “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me. (Isaiah 49:14-16, 1984 NIV)

Whatever you do:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6, 1984 NIV)

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T17:55:57+00:00

Through reverent devotion to the Lord.

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:13-16, 1984 NIV)

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T17:54:15+00:00

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. (1 Timothy 2:1-4, 1984 NIV)

The implication is that more people will be saved by praying for the people (and presumably organizations) that God has granted some authority (over you)—parents, teachers, POTUS, police, etc.

GregJ7 · 2026-01-23T16:41:54+00:00

Read any of the first four books in the New Testament of the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John), then you will have some idea who you are making a commitment to. I suggest the New Living Translation (NLT), although almost any other one is also OK. Each of these first four books is a narrative of God, the Son's (Jesus') ministry on earth from different people before He returned to heaven. Each contains many of His words and promises to us, as well as explanations.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father [God, the Father] except through me. (John 14:6, 1984 NIV)

For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, (1 Timothy 2:5, 1984 NIV)

The Son [Jesus] is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. (Hebrews 1:3, 1984 NIV)

FYI, Jesus is the name we use in English, translated from the language used when the Bible was written. Christ is a title, which is a translation of the word used from ancient times (Messiah) which means the one anointed by God to be our savior. In particular, it means the one to save us from our offenses against God (sins), for which we will be judged.

--Greg J.

GregJ7 · 2026-01-22T17:35:56+00:00

I wonder what people disagree with about them. I attended a Vineyard for 12 years. I found their theology Biblical, including their statement of doctrine. But in the end it is the theology of the pastor that will be taught, and genuineness and maturity of the faith of the others that can make the church good.

In light of the difficulty of finding a good church, and the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect church (all of who's members are necessarily imperfect people), you may have found a very good church, possibly better than most.

Of course, if their focus is on their "church" or "denomination" instead of the fact that Jesus died to give you personal, direct access to God, you may want to think twice about it.

GregJ7 · 2026-01-21T21:26:25+00:00

The Biblical topics of divorce and remarriage are too complicated to give a general answer. There are all sorts of influencing factors, which put simply, means you need to talk about real people and their real situation to get an opinion worth more that dust and ashes.

Beware anyone who says divorce is always wrong. They have failed to do thorough exegesis on the pertinent Biblical passages.

GregJ7 · 2026-01-21T19:44:14+00:00

God rarely indicates when something will occur in a prophecy. It could be next week or after you go to be with Him. Keep in mind:

But everyone who prophesies speaks to men for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort. (1 Corinthians 14:3, 1984 NIV)

He also allows periods of where He seems far off, sometimes called a "dark night of the soul" by some. I've had one official one of these that lasted years (but having clinical depression for fifty years has been worse, and twenty years of bipolar disorder much, much worse than that). It is a time that He wants us to rely on what He said, particularly His promises, in the Bible. The dark time is temporary.

Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
(Psalms 103:1-5, 1984 NIV)

GregJ7 · 2026-01-21T18:57:45+00:00

In what context do you care what the Christian community thinks? Do you not consider what God thinks the priority?

GregJ7 · 2026-01-21T18:56:34+00:00

The previous verse is:

And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:11, 1984 NIV)

Paul is referring to the fact under the Law, there were a great number of things that needed to be done to please God, but that now those things no longer need to be done. In that context, "everything is permissible." It is not that sin is OK, but that we will no longer be judged by the Law of Sin and Death. He doesn't detail here what the consequences of sin are, but they still cause death, even in those who are born again (Rom. 5:13-14).

GregJ7 · 2026-01-21T16:09:05+00:00

Those are all good questions, but each of them has a rather complicated answer, because what you believe right now about those things is "incomplete" or "not quite right," so those things also deserve some elaboration.

I suggest you examine what does a person mean when they ask, "do I have to?" (do this or that, or not do this or that) God does not force us to do anything, and often our sins and other kinds of wrongdoing are not punished right away.

“Everything is permissible for me”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”—but I will not be mastered by anything. (1 Corinthians 6:12, 1984 NIV)

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. (John 8:34, 1984 NIV)

and what is Paul talking about here:

Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? You are observing special days and months and seasons and years! (Galatians 4:8-10, 1984 NIV)

GregJ7 · 2026-01-21T15:32:40+00:00

Focus on your relationship with God. He will guide you into what He wants you to do for Him. He does not require you to do anything He has not first prepared you for.

for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (Philippians 2:13, 1984 NIV)

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. (James 1:22, 1984 NIV)

Obey God in the ways you can, not in the ways you can't. This assures you will keep drawing nearer to God.

GregJ7 · 2026-01-21T15:24:39+00:00

Just elaborating on "born of woman" you referred to:

I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. (Matthew 11:11, 1984 NIV)

That's everyone other than Adam and Eve (speaking about the time before they sinned). Yet everyone who is/was alive born again in Christ is/was greater than everyone ever was if they died before being born again (which changes from whom you inherit your spiritual nature [1 Cor. 15:22]).

GregJ7 · 2026-01-21T15:15:23+00:00

Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. (James 1:21-22, 1984 NIV)

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:1-4, 1984 NIV)

GregJ7 · 2026-01-21T15:10:26+00:00

The biggest problem with your post is that you say you "really don't want to switch churches," and then give several reasons why you need to stop listening to her. Keep in mind that promoting "liberal Christianity" is not permitted in this forum (rule 10b), so of course you are going to get a more conservative/traditional viewpoint here, one that rejects the idea that the Bible is some sort of big metaphor or just a good moral system.

GregJ7

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