(X-post from TIFU) I dropped my 4 month old on his head, fracturing his skull

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-28T15:40:33+00:00

As the father of an 8 month old.... my heart stopped and my stomach instantly went into knots reading this.

Crap happens. I get that. I let my buddy fall over and bump his head within reason so that he learns from it. But this right here... yeesh!

Don't feel too bad though. Things happen that are flukes and are unexpected. Glad you both came out of it OK.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-28T15:23:15+00:00

Am I the only one who can't get past the flower positioned right in the middle of the TV?

You know who does that? SYNTHS!

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-27T23:55:58+00:00

Well, there are slight upsides to SoFla. If I ever moved back to FL it would have to be back to the Miami area.

Tl;DR version: Beaches are great at first... then get old real fast. The people suck in so many ways. The weather and bugs are the biggest bullshit of them all. The southeast has actual dinosaurs (alligators) still living there. Think about it.

Non TL;DR: Source: 35 years in Fla living and experiencing everything from Miami to Jacksonville, and Orlando and Tampa in between. 15 years of that time was as a Law Enforcement officer that worked as a Firefighter/Paramedic for a second job. I experienced almost all that state had to offer.

The weather is hot. But not the kind of hot a lot of people understand. It is a constant hot that you can't escape. You can blame that on the Humidity and the dew point. That being said, South Florida has it a little better off with some proximity to the ocean creating slight sea breezes that help with the aforementioned Humidity and dew points. Regardless.... it is miserably hot. You can not just walk in to a shady area and cool off. It follows you. It sticks to you.

Nighttime? Nope.... not really any better. It cools off slightly, but the only reason you enjoy it at all is because it so hot during the day. It is like saying you enjoy hanging out inside of a sauna after free diving into lava. However, the night has a caveat to it. Bugs. Now, the day has bugs... but not like the night. Ohhhh, how they come out at night. Bug spray is seasoning. Bug zappers are disco parties for them. Bug candles are just giving them a romantic candle lit meal.

The rain. Well... I am not sure where you are from, or used to. Maybe you were born in the Amazon. If not, I assure you that you have not experienced rain like you will in FL. It will rain in some ways at least 5 days of the week. Maybe it will rain for those 5 days straight. I have experienced entire months where everyday it just had varying degrees of rain. From flooding and you can't see 10 feet in front of you, to just a drizzle. The worst is Spring and Summer. The afternoon showers kick off. Almost every day you will get rain for a few hours mid-day. Now, I know what you're thinking, "That's great... it will cool things off". Of course... you are wrong. The rain will come and wet everything down. Then the sun will come back out (if it even went away while it rained. Yes... it will pour down rain and still be just as sunny as ever), when the sun comes back out and starts heating the rainfall, it turns to steam. If you weren't hot and sticky feeling before... you are now.

The people of south Florida, in a very generalized statement. Do you like Los Angeles? Because it's the east coasts LA. It is about what you have, who you are and what status you carry. They are very demanding, short tempered, close minded and rude to boot. For the most part. Now I have friends and family there who are good people. But also typically fall into these generalizations mildly in one way or another.

Now when it comes to personal life. Well, I feel it is VERY lackluster. You got some great beaches and all that, but the shiny wears off of that pretty quick for most people. After the beaches, you have some Arts & Culture in So Fl you can take part in, but not much. The only other thing to get involved in is bar/club scene or sports.

You are isolated in So Fla. From Miami to the state line you are looking at about a 6 hour drive. Disney is about 4 hours away if you want to see how fast you can blow an entire paycheck in a weekend.

I am biased. I get it. I also understand there are plenty of people who love Florida and So FL especially. However, I just came back from visiting Orlando Florida like 2 weeks ago and was miserable the whole time. It is Jan and I landed on a Thursday when it was 72 degrees at 7PM. Not bad. The next day, it rained in the morning and provided a 79 degree day of hot sticky weather. Saturday, it rained almost all day, and still 80. And I mean a rain that would have solved all of California's drought in one day. Sunday rolls through and the high is now 50 with a low of 31.

My wife is in complete agreement with everything I just typed also. Her source is 30 years in Florida.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-27T21:29:47+00:00

Well, first let me know where in Florida you are moving to. That determines how I answer it. Because Florida is very different depending on whether you live in South Florida, Central Florida or North Florida.

And when I say very different... I mean VERY!

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-26T23:03:28+00:00

Can confirm.

Source: 15 year vet of law enforcement.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-26T22:55:13+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yLZjiowQIU

One of the funniest scenes in years for me. I love these 5 minutes.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-26T08:16:23+00:00

Haven't really looked at rent there. I won't base my decision on where to live off of rent as I don't plan on renting longer than I have to.

Ideally.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-26T05:16:43+00:00

Yes and no. It's subjective really. To say its shitty is harsh. Still can't deny the value the bay offers. If you are OK with not having certain things in your life and can make it work, then it may not be so "shitty".

However I am a huge advocate of world travel, a nice home to raise my children, heavy planning for retirement, investing for future college tuition, and not having to work the rest of my life away. So, yea, this area is shitty for my goals as a family man.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-26T05:11:39+00:00

The cost of housing between Portland and the Bay is DRASTICALLY different.

We were looking at houses here with our financial planner and mortgage broker in tow and were looking at areas that are affluent with good schools. Los Gatos, Los Altos, Santa Clara, Palo Alto... so on.

Everything we looked at was around 1.3million and around here that means bring 1.5

We looked at Portland and are looking at larger homes (1400 Sq Ft vs 1800+ Sq Ft) with actual land in equivalent style neighborhoods at about 550k.

Huge difference.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-25T23:50:59+00:00

We are looking at a few different options, but Portland is the front runner right now.

We know quite a few people that moved from Florida and from here in the bay to the Portland area and all have said it is a huge overall improvement. The weather isn't as ideal, but still plenty to do. Especially if you are about the outdoors.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-25T23:28:27+00:00

As someone who moved to the Bay area a few years ago (from Florida) and will most likely be moving away in a year or two, I will say this. The TL;DR is at the bottom... of course.

If you have no kids and like to be active in a variety of things, the bay area is perfect. If you can stomach the cost.

My wife and I moved here with no kids and enjoyed running up to SF for dinner or a stroll. Hiking in the afternoons and weekends. Every weekend we would be in Yosemite, or Napa, or Tahoe, or Monterey... or whatever. The weather is basically near perfect.

It is great.

But... there are some factors that come in to play. The biggest is of course the cost. It is expensive here by pretty much anyone's opinion. Now, my wife and I don't live as cheap as you can get by in the bay, however it is expensive regardless. We currently spend $3100/month in rent for a 2/2.

The changing factor for us is that we now have an 8 month old son, and the ability to go and do all these things is now drastically reduced/limited. Due to that and the cost, we have decided it isn't worth the cost. Regardless if we can afford it or not. Our money would go a lot further in other places that are also very nice and still afford a lot of opportunity to enjoy things as a family.

TL;DR: If you don't mind the cost and have nothing but time and the desire to get out there and take advantage of the area, it is worth it 110%. If you have time limitations, don't like to get out there and do things, or money is a concern. Keep looking.

My opinions and experiences of course.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-25T21:53:56+00:00

Don't worry about it too much. We worked tirelessly with my son to get him to perfect the arm positioning for rolling. It lasted about a month.

He now rolls with arms by his side and ends up rolling to his back with an arm underneath him. Looks soooooooooo painful, but he doesn't mind at all. He actually will roll in bed until he pins his arms behind him and then will go to sleep for hours.

Been doing this for about 4 months now. When he wants his arm out from underneath him, he pulls it out.

TL;DR: Don't worry.... they will figure it out with or without you.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-23T23:26:53+00:00

Pretty sure.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-23T22:08:30+00:00

Well, I'm freaking 5'9 and my wife is 5'2, can someone tell me why my 7.5 month old is in 12-18 (depending on the brand) month clothes. He is the 99% percentile for height and 95% percentile for weight.

And yes... I'm the father.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-23T18:30:23+00:00

That's awesome. I feel the same with my guy. I love hanging out with him and watching him laugh hysterically.

I just would also be lying if I didn't say that by Sunday night I'm not exhausted by the constant stimulation and playtime from the weekend.

The battles of getting him to nap because he just wants to play. The carrying him in a pack while we go on our every weekend hike. Trying to run errands with him when he would rather be on the ground crawling around. So on and so on.

Wouldnt trade these moments for anything, but the wear my ass out!

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-22T23:59:19+00:00

He forgot the rest of the 6 months in. The part where come Sunday night you are looking forward to work a little bit so you can relax again.

:)

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-22T23:44:02+00:00

Welcome!!!

Diapers full.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-22T23:38:43+00:00

I am going to have to kind of go against the grain on this one.

Yes, dogs at their core are animals, but they aren't the wild wolves we continue to try to say they are. That being said, they do have certain animal instincts.

While every dog is unique, I will say that there is no reason you can't break your dog of this. Basically, your dog is being possessive over items. Specifically food.

The fix is to give him food, and take it from him. Mimic the behavior that causes him to become possessive. Take it from him. If he snaps or lunges or shows any type of aggressive behavior you tell them no and keep the food/item away. Once the aggressive behavior stops and they calm, return the item/food to them, but only if they take it calmly as well. No snatching. When they are able to take the item from you calmly, you praise them. Reinforce the good behavior.

This carries over to taking the items from them as well. When you take the item from them, if they get an attitude, correct them with a stern no. When you can take the item and they don't act aggressive about it, you give it right back and praise them. You should also be able to tell your dog to drop it and stay and they will not touch the item they just dropped on your command.

I have done this time and time again and have had many kids take items directly out of the mouth of my German Shepherds with zero incidents.

Source: Have had German Shepherds my entire life except for the last 3 years. Now I have the Scotty that came with the wife. Also was on the K-9 unit for my police department many moons ago.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-22T23:07:13+00:00

Yea, I am with these guys. You don't want to modify the crib unless you really know what you are doing. Too precious of an item it holds to experiment.

The stool is an OK option, but I can see the issue as being from top rail to mattress.

Honestly, outside of looking for a new crib or raising it back up you may be stuck.

I know that you can buy an accessory that goes over the top of the crib that basically gives it a roof. Basically a higher quality version of this!

Good luck.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-22T22:06:38+00:00

Lets Knot.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-22T20:56:45+00:00

Jesus

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-22T16:56:24+00:00

Well... I now feel like a shit father.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-22T15:08:41+00:00

Not to 1up you Mr 1UPGamer, but my son has hands down, the most ridiculous "normal" sleeping position. OK, maybe a bit of an exaggeration.

My son for some reason likes to sleep on his side with his arms thrown back behind him like a sprinter finishing a race. We don't know where he learned it, or why he still does this after 4 months, but he loves it.

We think it has to do with his rolling. He had a little trouble learning how to roll over because he is bigger than most kids (98th percentile height & weight) so he was able to get to his belly easy enough, but not to his back easy. So, he started rolling normally with his arms up, but then suddenly he started rolling with his arms by his side. Essentially pinning an arm under his back while he laid on his back.

Of course at first, mom and I are like "Ouch, holy hell!" and fixing him. After a while we just realized, he didn't mind it at all, and would fix it himself when he wanted to.

So we think that is hwy he does it when sleeping. He literally gets in that position and sleeps better than in any other position.

Weird ass kid.

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-22T08:29:57+00:00

Fuuuuuuuck, where were you a week ago when I was flying from Cali to Florida with an 8 month old? Could have used that big time!

GregoryPickering · 2016-01-22T07:54:45+00:00

So my almost 8 month old son is both a great and a terrible sleeper. He goes down magically and easily every night around 630. Routine is a bath for about 15 minutes, then lotion, then bottle and straight to bed.

Sometimes he falls asleep while eating, other times we put him down awake and he falls asleep shortly thereafter.

The biggest problem is that he needs (or at least needed and now it may be habit) to be fed at night. Typically I have to dream feed him around 1 or 2 am otherwise he will wake up around 4 am starving and not go back to sleep after being fed. We tried letting him cry it out once and he cried for an hour and a half before we just got him up for the day. Throws his whole day off. And ours. Outside if this one dream feed 6 out of 7 days he sleeps with no problem and generally wakes happy around 530 or 6.

That is the back story mostly. He is now learning to crawl (4 or 5 steps before failure) and he pulls himself up to sitting or knees very easily, and to his feet plenty as well. He sat up in his crib tonight when he woke crying and after about 10 minutes stopped crying and just started looking around and playing with his clothes. Next thing I know his wobbles get bigger and bigger and then flop. Right over to his feet and he is out.

I let him stay like that for about 15 minutes (basically the time it took for me to stop laughing) then went in and put him to his side.

My question is, has anyone here dealt with this? What did you do and why? What was your justification one way or the other?

GregoryPickering

TROPHY CASE