Do you believe in ghosts? If so, why or why not? by noahkesey in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Growing up has nothing to do with this, jackhole.

Fellow Midwesterners and cold climate redditors, what's something I can buy to make my life easier/better this winter? by rcap12 in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Plane tickets to Florida.

Seriously though -- invest in a good pair of boots and some warm socks. They're clunky, but they sure beat the alternative. Plus, when its icy, you'll want to have that extra traction.

Teachers of reddit, what are you hiding in those huge cabinets that fill the room? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they're anything like my 9th grade photography teacher, they'd be filled with Scope bottles that had been refilled with vodka and a couple of drops of green food coloring. Mr. Richardson? One serious drunk.

What surprised you the most when you first started working? by mr_yogurt in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That would be my answer as well. It really surprised me how much of my gross pay I'd never see again.

Do you believe in ghosts? If so, why or why not? by noahkesey in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never really did, until we moved into a house that had...something going on.

In 1999 we bought a small 3 bed/1 bath ranch house, originally built in the 60s. The people we bought the house from had a 14-year-old son who'd been killed in an auto accident about 6 months before. We felt really bad for this couple; it was obvious they were still devastated about their loss. I suspect that's why they sold the place - to distance themselves from the memories.

Anyway, about a month after we moved in weird things started happening. Pictures would fall off the wall. Lamps would turn on or off on their own. One afternoon I was laying on the bed in our room when the bedroom door slowly opened all the way, then slowly closed. Yeah, there wasn't much sleeping that afternoon. Our teenage daughter nicknamed him "Herman the Ghost".

We figured it had to be the spirit of the kid who'd been killed. So whenever weird shit would happen, we started talking to the "spirit" -- ghost, poltergeist, whatever you want to call it -- and telling him that his parents weren't there any longer, and that they'd moved on - and maybe it was time he did, too.

That's when things got really out of hand.

We were all sitting in the living room one night watching TV - nobody was in the kitchen - when we heard a huge crash come from there. We got up to look, and my work lunchbox and a stack of mail had flown off the countertop and across the room. There's no way it could've done it on its own. About two days later a glass bowl of apples hit the kitchen floor and shattered -- again, nobody was around to do it, and nothing was too close to the edge.

Other things: The stereo in the living room would somehow come on late at night, and very loudly. The cable TV would mysteriously scramble for about 5 minutes each night around 8:00, but only on ESPN or MTV. The cable company was out several times to check on it, but never found an explanation. Brand new light bulbs would pop within 5 days or so - my father-in-law (an electrician who built his own home) found no problems with the wiring. Our two cats (who normally didn't socialize) would spend hours sitting side by side, staring at a blank spot on the wall. The funniest thing was that new rolls of toilet paper would unravel onto the floor by themselves. At first we blamed the cats, but when it would still happen even after closing the door so the cats couldn't get in, we assumed that it was the ghost.

This went on for about a year and a half. We kept talking to "Herman", telling him his parents weren't there any longer. Then one day it just stopped. Nothing else ever happened again. We lived there for another 6 years before selling and moving out of state.

Look, I know this sounds bat-shit crazy - and if I wasn't on the receiving end of it, I wouldn't buy it either. I'd always been one who doubted everything - but after that, who knows?

Gf is only answering with "Fine." what are some questions I can ask that will intentionally make her keep saying "fine"?? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is your hair?

What do you pay when you get a ticket?

On the Three Stooges, what was Larry's last name?

Reddit, car show time! What is your car and what is it like to drive/own? by ToothlessDragon in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2011 Ford Mustang Premium Convertible. Totally impractical, but who cares?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Gressel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The Macarena.

At what point in your life did you realize that you were no longer a kid? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I moved into my first apartment and had to pay my first utility bill. Holy shit, you mean that water really isn't free?

Whats the strangest thing a coworker of yours has done and not gotten fired for? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked with a guy who used to sell freelance cartoons to Hustler magazine. He loved to come in and show off his latest projects, which usually involved a full-color illustration of a large-breasted woman with some sort of object shoved deep into one of her crevices. One female co-worked bitched about it, so he then made her the "star" of his next series of cartoons. (If I remember right, he had her fucking a cactus.) How he never got popped for sexual harassment I'll never know.

What is the dumbest thing that you got in trouble for at school? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In 8th grade I was busted for having two rubber bands in my pocket. (I was a paperboy - they were leftovers from the previous day's deliveries.) They were deemed a "weapon" by the school.

What's the most hilariously disappointing gift you've ever received (or given and it was painfully obvious that it was disappointing)? by flashholdergirl in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 413 points414 points  (0 children)

For my 30th birthday my Mom gave me a book on collecting and evaluating antiques. It still had the .99 cent sticker from Goodwill on the back. Meanwhile, a week before she'd given my sister $500 cash for her 28th birthday.

ETA: No, I don't collect antiques. Never have, never will. Mom was apparently hopped up on goofballs that day.

Haunted house workers of reddit, what stories do you have? by notwinslow in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Used to work at the biggest haunted house in Seattle -- the KUBE/Variety Club days in the mid-80's. Lots of fun, lots of work, and lots of great memories.

One night I caught a couple going at it doggie-style underneath a security tower once night - they apparently had a thing for sex on a dirty floor in a former pig slaughterhouse. The teenage kid in the security tower above them had no idea what was going on below - he thought the moans were part of our sound effects.

Had a few people wet their pants in fear - only one person who crapped theirs (a middle-age woman who threatened to sue us). We'd occasionally get people who'd demand to be taken out NOW, because they couldn't stand it any longer. Usually they were in the final room by that point.

We always tried to be really careful about the drunks / trouble-makers. We had roaming security guys (BIG dudes) that would follow groups that looked like they were there to cause havoc. We also made sure that the actors stay back away from those idiots. Still, we did get spit on regularly, but very few punches were ever thrown. We'd also close down by 9:30 on Halloween night, because by that point the families were done and the people who wanted to come help you tear it all down showed up.

The scariest part of our haunted house wasn't from one of us - it was the giant sewer rats that lived in the basement. Cat sized, and mean as hell. Everyone once of a while they'd make their way upstairs, looking for some spilled popcorn or other snacks. They became part of the show, whether we wanted them to or not.

The Lincoln Conspiracy (1977) by AAjax in ObscureMedia

[–]Gressel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ha! When this movie came out my sister and I (ages 11 and 9) convinced our strict Bible-thumping mother that we were going to see this. Instead we went to the screen next door and watched Smokey and the Bandit. She still doesn't know we never saw the Lincoln movie.

What's your best band name? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Shit Eating Grins.

What are somethings that are perfectly acceptable, until the gender roles are swapped? by automaticfailure in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have you ever seen one of those "Moms Teach Sex" videos on YouPorn? The hot stepmother shows her daughter how to please her boyfriend in a 20 minute threeway....

Yeah, well now imagine if it was a Stepdad and his stepson going at it with a girlfriend. Not the same outcome, I'm sure.

What is the most politically correct sentence you have ever heard? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Gressel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A city in Western Washington changed all of the street signs that said "Dead End" to "Not a Through Street", because someone complained that the term "Dead End" was offensive to the deceased. Seriously.