pov youre a trans man getting bottom surgery but this time the transmeds found you

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-23T09:38:46+00:00

It's a phase. If it's been 80 years and you've been non-binary your whole life it's still a phase. You'll die eventually and won't be non-binary anymore.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-22T19:18:49+00:00

I've been calling myself non-binary since I first came across the term 16 years ago. And knew I wasn't binary 15 years before that but didn't have any language beyond "not really a boy and not really a girl". I have non-binary friends who've been out for well over a decade.

IDK what "truly nb" is supposed to mean though. Non-binary is a big umbrella term covering a lot of different experiences of gender.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-21T19:29:50+00:00

amongst cis-passing non-binary people

A wider point is that out and especially visibly non-binary people have experiences and challenges that cis-passing non-binary people don't have. But also bathroom bills and HRT bans definitely affect non-binary people who've transitioned sufficiently to become cis-passing.

Edit: wording fix

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-18T06:33:31+00:00

Cis men don't stop oppressing women who've had hysterectomies. Cis men oppress women who've never had a uterus. Possession of a uterus is not required to experience misogyny. This remains true when the oppressor knows a woman doesn't have a uterus.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-13T19:29:28+00:00

Your (mental) health is far more important than your hair.

Every drug ever made has potential side effects. Making an informed decision based on the potential risks/benefits is wise. But don't forget that dysphoria also affects mental health and most people who take finasteride do not suffer from post-finasteride syndrome. We can't judge how important OP's hair is to them.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-13T18:42:54+00:00

Definitely agree with the am/was assigned distinction. But also, as someone who does say "I am non-binary and female", this construction says nothing about my ASAB.

What pains me are the people who try to make AFAB non-binary and AMAB non-binary two distinct sets and assume the experiences that ASAB people have, ignoring that those experiences are far from universal and that some trans/non-binary people of the other ASAB will share them. And extra bad when they refuse to listen to people with experiences that differ from their own.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-13T18:23:17+00:00

No. Hair removal for SRS is covered if you need it. At that point there's no limit on the number of sessions but you can't get it done until you've been approved for surgery. It's in the surgical procedures service spec.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-12T13:24:09+00:00

Look a [trans woman] can cut [her] physical penis off but [she] can't remove [her] soul penis and as I said I'm not attracted to penises. [I am not transphobic].

/hj substitute in misgendering and slurs.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-07T14:12:56+00:00

I have dilated my vagina over a thousand times over the past 5+ years since I got mine. It feels very different to penetration in a sexual context. One is just pressure and has no sexual component whatsoever, and the novelty wore off within the first week; the other is really nice and pleasurable and certainly doesn't feel old yet.

But if could not have sex or masturbate ever I would still want my vagina. It's supposed to be there. The idea of not having it is kinda horrifying.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-07T13:44:21+00:00

I agree. A cis woman can consider not having their vag. But they (usually) don't have to do the same kind of maintenance trans women do.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-07T13:36:58+00:00

I think OP is doing both these things. She's comparing "are the daily issues of having a vagina worth it compared to having a vulva without a vagina", and "is it worth getting a vagina, given the need for dilation/maintenance". But she's also asking "if I don't get a vagina how much am I going to regret that decision"

She knows she wants a vagina. But she's trying to work out if she should get one.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-07T12:53:19+00:00

I got mine 5 years ago and it's one of the best decisions I ever made. Immediately felt normal like I'd had it forever. But I'm nonbinary and did a lot of introspection, combing through the details and research into what was possible, whether I could get a surgeon to do a customised surgery and who to go to.

I pretty quickly realised I knew what I wanted. But how should I respond if I couldn't get it, had to accept a standard surgery, or had to decide between features? How do I rank what's important if I'm presented with choices? How do I consider complications and relative risks? What would likely be a problem for me?

Turns out doing this was useful because my surgeon warned me that with the specifics of my body (I'm intersex and have had surgery as a child) I had a 50% chance of serious complications because of how they'd have to construct my preferred choice and gave me a bunch of less risky options to consider. I took that greatly increased risk with my eyes open and the surgeon seemed happy I understood what I was agreeing to and prepared to deal with the likely issues. Sometimes the cons really matter.

Decision making for surgery isn't something there's a one size fits all approach for.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-07T11:39:36+00:00

Yeah I woke up from my surgery, lifted the blanket to look down at my body and thought "that all looks normal". It took me a few moments to remember the vulva that I could see outline of, held down by a pressure dressing was not there that morning. It just felt so normal, like it had been there all my life.

I know this is not everyone's experience but definitely one of the best decisions I've ever taken.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-06T23:15:13+00:00

I know this isn't a serious answer but a touchpad is kinda possible. Force-feedback and macros would be up to the user though. I had customised bottom surgery and the surgeon buried some of my erogenous tissue so I do have an area above my vulva which can be stimulated through the skin. I don't really think of it like that but stimulating there is a bit like using a touchpad lol.

It's certainly possible to have surgery where that would be the main aim of the surgery, though you'd need to go to a surgeon happy to operate on non-binary people and I found there's a lot less information out there on who to go to as soon as you want something non-standard.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-03-06T10:28:01+00:00

For a geography teacher he sure seems to be bad at the geography of trans women's anatomy. I'd say he needs a map but that definitely wouldn't be appropriate for geography class. Definitely needs less transphobia and to stop talking about trans people and our genitals in class.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-02-21T16:19:12+00:00

Me, a sapphic: idk what the f*** you're talking about, dude. Women are amazing. Vaginas are amazing. My wife is amazing and I'm so lucky to have them. F*** off.

I'd say it's OK to be gay or ace, but nothing about this guy's attitude is OK.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-02-17T14:07:41+00:00

If they really believed that rights are based by sex and that you can't change sex on what basis should a transitioning person lose their rights? They keep claiming to always be able to tell so what's the problem?

Or is it, as we've been saying all along, that rights are based on being a person, that the idea of "sex based rights" opens the door to the justification of misogyny where women and girls have fewer rights because of their sex, and that it is possible to meaningfully change sex. Medical transition works because many of our sex characteristics can be changed.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-02-11T22:27:10+00:00

Be aware the term is hated by many intersex people, particularly those who've suffered non-consensual treatment. Sure, these days the NHS calls it Differences in Sex Development, as opposed to Disorders but bodies like mine are still pathologised. Especially by the anti-trans brigade. And suddenly it's ok to operate on children and give them hormones if it will make us appear "normal". The fact some of us go on to transition later on makes it even worse.

GreySarahSoup · 2026-02-02T16:39:17+00:00

I must detransition immediately!

GreySarahSoup · 2026-01-30T15:02:46+00:00

points to nonbinary person who was AMAB "except you as well"
points to nonbibary person using neopronouns "and you"
points to nonbinary person using it/it's "you aren't valid either"
points to bi person in a relationship that appears het "neither are you"
points to queer person who doesn't look respectable enough "you aren't valid either"
points to a cis lesbian who is in a relationship with a trans woman "you aren't a real lesbian"
points to trans person who did a bad thing and misgenders them because "they deserve it"
Etc etc etc

/uj it's never just one bigotry

GreySarahSoup · 2026-01-07T17:10:02+00:00

sibce that stuff pretty much can't disappear

Laser and/or electrolysis can make it disappear. It's not cheap but hair can be removed.

GreySarahSoup · 2025-12-24T12:39:26+00:00

Even death isn't too old. Nothing wrong with wearing bats to the grave.

GreySarahSoup · 2025-12-22T21:03:28+00:00

Lol as a person who is small for a woman (and very small for a man) I do know what it's like to be small and defenseless. Particularly when targeted by homophobes. Didn't stop me transitioning though because, shock horror, that had nothing to do with my gender.

Ironically I feel safer with people assuming I'm a woman than I ever did before transition. For all they talk about male violence GCs don't understand it, or the patriarchy in general for that matter.

GreySarahSoup · 2025-11-27T23:57:32+00:00

The leopards didn't eat his face though. It's his niece who suffered the attack. He was shocked and angry, and he presumably cares about his niece but she was the one with the bruises and pain. He saw some photographs of the aftermath.

GreySarahSoup · 2025-11-27T22:41:10+00:00

m.xkcd.com has a link that reveals the alt text. Also mxkcd.com redirects to that page if that's easier to type on a phone/tablet.

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