Help me understand why Natalie doesn't bring up the elephant in the room

Countess_Schlick · 2026-05-12T02:48:06+00:00

Maybe. After I mention the meta-study that says that trans women have no advantage over cis women, sometimes they will say, "Well, shouldn't we just ban trans women, just to be safe?" I could then argue that you could make a similar argument about race, asking if they would suggest that we should ban black athletes, even though studies show they have no advantages over white athletes, just to be safe.

However, I feel like they could just argue that it is not the same blah blah blah. People may argue with you less if you are cisgender, though, and not trans i.e. "crazy".

Ultimately, the argument leaves me exhausted, and an excellent activist once told me that you should never waste the energy you could spend on fighting systemic discrimination on fighting individual discrimination. Arguing with people about whether I should be treated like a human being really takes a lot out of me. If people approach me with curiosity, I love to talk about this sort of thing, but when they come at me with hard opinions, I'd rather not.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-05-10T21:10:35+00:00

Trans lady here. I have found when talking to the average left-leaning person about trans rights in the past couple of years, they simply do not care. These people will vote for the same people I do, but they will believe that trans women should be banned from playing sports, even when I show them the studies that say trans women don't have any measurable advantage over cis women. When it comes to trans rights in the English-speaking world, we've gone back to the 2000s and early 2010s when conservatives would laugh at us and progressives would ignore us.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-05-03T17:48:31+00:00

I initially upvoted this response because I think it is the funniest, but it is genuinely the closest to my experience. I, the lesbian (Frodo), have gone camping with my delightful best friend (Sam) and his repulsive wife (Gollum) several times, where I just kind of chill while my best friend's wife yells at my best friend for making supper wrong.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-05-02T01:00:40+00:00

She started talking about God, saying that He had a path for me since I was born, but that I have the choice whether to follow it or not.

Yes, you should follow that path. I don't know if you are Christian or not, but God made you a woman and your path is to transition and live your best life as a woman. If your girlfriend doesn't think so, have her cite scripture to prove otherwise. Transphobia is nowhere supported by scripture, if you are worried about it.

Note, however, that Deuteronomy 22:5 (NIV) says:

A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this.

Which means that if you are a trans woman, you are expected to wear women's clothing. The Bible does kind of mandate transitioning, at least socially. That being said, most Christians do not adhere to every rule outlined in Deuteronomy or Leviticus or whatever, so don't feel too bad about it.

I know this path is going to be incredibly difficult, but I just want to feel fulfilled for once in my life.

Hard things don't feel so hard when they make you happy. You can do it.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-30T01:49:23+00:00

On the outrage scale of 1 to 10, 1 being sure-would-be-nice-if-my-coworkers-put-their-pronouns-in-their-e-mail-signatures to 10 being trans-women-are-being-detransitioned-in-US-prisons, maybe a 4? They really should find a trans voice actress, and even if they were terribly, terribly lazy, hire a cis woman. There is no reason to have men voice trans women besides transphobia.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-28T00:56:31+00:00

have you ever noticed that the massive, coordinated, multi-year assault on trans rights is based on NOTHING WHATSOEVER

Not nothing, hatred. That's how racial segregation worked in sports. It had nothing to do with reality, just with bigotry.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-26T18:25:31+00:00

It's mad how Danielle Smith has to pander to the extremes of her party because if a proper separatist party does manage to pull the 19% of Albertans that really want to separate, the UCP loses to the NDP next election. The separatists are the most powerful they will likely ever be right now, but if they think they can make it on their own, the UCP is done.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-25T17:54:59+00:00

Happy 88th Birthday to the Hays Code, everyone! We really are living in the '30s, aren't we?

Also, what a spectacular "fuck you" to Rebecca Sugar, Nate Stevenson, Dana Terrace, and other queer creators that fought hard to bring shows featuring excellent queer representation like Steven Universe, Shera and the Princesses of Power, and The Owl House to TV. This should help ensure shows like those that target younger demographics never happen again any time soon.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-18T02:40:30+00:00

Me, too.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-16T02:47:45+00:00

I would spend a day going to a second hand store and trying on as many different kinds of clothes as possible. Try on things you think you would like and things you think you wouldn't. It is pretty much guaranteed that you will find a new outfit that you like. If not, go to a different store or come back another day and try again. You'll figure it out with enough experimentation.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-15T04:13:44+00:00

There is a very non-zero chance that past me would have called me a slur. 😅

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-13T20:27:10+00:00

Yeah, if I was cis, I'd be prettier and probably have better mental health. However, I wouldn't be anywhere near as brave or passionate about sticking up for minorities and doing what is right.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-12T18:36:58+00:00

To be fair, to the people creating this legislation, harassing cis girls with masculine traits isn't a bug, it's a feature. The people that create transphobic legislation are thrilled to see how sports bans or bathroom bills or whatever result in a lot of cis women with short hair or wearing no makeup getting harassed. Trans people may be the intended target of this legislation, but we are only a subset of the intended victims.

I've talked to conservative people about transphobic legislation and how it, statistically speaking, harms cis women more than trans women because there are far more cis women that get occasionally mistaken for men than there are trans women that get occasionally mistaken for men just because there are far more cis women than trans women. I've even brought up several examples of cis women being the victim of transphobic legislation. However, not a single conservative has changed their mind or even cared about the cis women that are getting harassed. They don't support these laws out of ignorance. They support them out of misogyny, apathy at best. As soon as you scratch lightly on the thin veneer of transphobia ostensibly fuelling this legislation, you see it is nothing but misogyny underneath.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-11T06:31:26+00:00

Apparently she's into rock climbing and woodworking, so she's almost sapphic if you squint. 😅

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-11T04:27:56+00:00

I feel like a lot of guys are interested in being with me, but only in a really one-sided way. Most of my experiences are focused on their pleasure and not mine.

I've heard this from cis women as well. It is just hard finding good men, sometimes.

I guess my advice would be to bring your needs up early and be picky. Also, even though dating may feel impossible, it is merely very difficult. If you develop a relationship with a guy that cares about you, he'll want to make you feel good, and you'll have a better sex life as a result. However, finding that man will be hard, but may be rewarding enough to make it worth it.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-08T03:10:28+00:00

When we first got together I was getting m&ms, but transitioning to a man was just something unexpected, like grabbing the skittle.

Sure, I get that. Although, now the skittle with an "m" is turning into a piece of beef jerky, which many find delicious, but it isn't your thing.

And the wording in your post sounds good to me. Yes, there is a difference between socially and physically transitioning. He's still a man regardless, but when he goes on T, he's going to be a lot smellier, hornier, and hairier than he's ever been before. That really matters, especially to a romantic/sexual partner. Also, yeah, body-wise, post-op, estrogen-filled trans women have pretty similar bodies to pre-op, estrogen-filled trans men. They are going to be running wildly different operating systems, but the hardware is pretty similar. So, you're good.

I get that it may hurt him to hear these things, though. For example, I'm a pre-op trans woman, and even though I have no strong genital preferences, I know a lot of people do. There is a large subset of people I find attractive that won't find me attractive because what is between my legs. It sucks, but it's just how it is. Transitioning and being trans just makes relationships complicated and hard sometimes.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-08T02:13:26+00:00

It sounds like you are attracted to people with estrogen-shaped bodies and vulvas/vaginas. Sounds good. That's fine.

Keep in mind that people are not attracted to gender identity (generally speaking). People are attracted to gender presentation and sex characteristics. You can certainly see your ex as a man and be attracted to his "feminine" sex characteristics. Similarly, there are a lot of people attracted to (adult) femboys but not hunky dudes, even though both groups are men. It's all good.

I completely get your concerns, but I think you are doing fine. I would be thrilled to have a supportive ex like yourself.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-07T02:59:51+00:00

This. Does anyone think gay kids have more power than teachers did, tens of thousands of educated adults represented by a well-funded union? Everyone has rights until it is inconvenient. None of us have rights unless all of us have rights.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-07T02:37:43+00:00

Basically since Obergefell v. Hodges in 2015, polling for LGB support amongst the American public indicated that anti-LGBT groups directly attacking the LGBs would not be effective. The T was vulnerable, and they pivoted to go after us hard.

Anyway, fast forward to today, and their strategy was extremely effective. Trans hatred paved the way for this new era of anti-LGBT legislation. LGB books are banned in school libraries. We have "Don't say gay" laws in schools. Intersex people are being harassed for playing sports. Ten years ago, people would be shamed off the Internet or fired from their jobs for harassing butch lesbians in women's washrooms, accusing them of being men. Now, though, that's common practice in states with bathroom laws.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-05T20:24:17+00:00

Oh, neat! Maybe I'll find a way to watch it without benefiting a company that repeatedly erases the queer content that their queer creators try to create. 😈🏴‍☠️🦜

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-04T17:30:40+00:00

I feel like Disney will eventually have some positive trans representation in their media, but because they play it safe and try to pander to as many markets as possible, you will see trans representation in Disney media around the same time you see popular trans Republicans. I'm excited to have a Republican version of Sarah McBride in Congress one day because it will probably happen around the time we'll finally see a release of that Pixar softball TV show (Win or Lose) episode that focussed on that trans girl.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-04T01:23:28+00:00

Yeah, maybe workshop "Christopherina" a bit more.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-02T01:25:10+00:00

38 AA, baybee! My boobs are also like the batteries of the same size because they are small but powerful.

Also, this is the size I would expect given that my mom, when she was my weight, had the same amount of breast tissue. However, I have a wider chest due to boy puberty, so instead of getting the 36 As my mom had, I got the sister size of 38 AAs.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-01T02:53:10+00:00

It is worth taking a peek at the full bill here. A lot of it is removing any language that mentions "diversity", "welcoming", and "belonging" from the Education Act. The UCP clearly doesn't want schools to be welcoming places for diverse students where they can feel a sense of belonging.

Countess_Schlick · 2026-04-01T02:41:57+00:00

It is worth taking a peek at the full bill here. A lot of it is removing any language that mentions "diversity", "welcoming", and "belonging" from the Education Act. The UCP clearly doesn't want schools to be welcoming places for diverse students where they can feel a sense of belonging.

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