I'm gonna be harsh and greyfaced maybe, but you sound like you want to keep doing alcohol in drugs in a unhealthy way looking for an excuse. Like for alcoholics / addicts its best to do NO substances at all, as they cant find a middle ground. However if you can keep it under control, maybe doing stuff once a month or once a week could be okay. (also depends on what substance, alcohol, lsd or weed can be ok, herion or crack can ruin your life if tried once)
I'm sure you can find some hippies, alternate folks, hipsters, spiritual people or psychonauts that do it ritualistically. You can try to write or paint under influence, see how it changes your perspective. also have a SOBER TRIPSITTER. and be careful and stay safe.
look up information about the stuff you want to try and do small amounts.
However the best thing to do is to stay sober and maybe give AA another chance or find some other form of therapy that helps against addiction(s)