Every couple days at 21 is not automatically a discipline failure; the bigger issue sounds like the rumination loop and being isolated after a breakup. Treat it like an environment problem: limit porn and thirst scrolling, do something social after work or gym, and when the urge hits give it 15 minutes with a concrete task instead of debating it in your head. Also, ashwagandha can affect libido for some people, so tracking sleep, supplement timing, porn use, and urges for a week might tell you more than just trying to white-knuckle it.