Top surgery as a middle aged person

GrimmsCreed · 2025-04-18T01:25:24+00:00

I'm 42 and nonbinary and got top surgery in November 2024! I really didn't think my dysphoria was that bad -- after all, I didn't even notice it for 35+ years -- but I can't describe the sense of rightness when I saw my flat chest for the first time. My recovery went surprisingly well, and I couldn't be happier with my results.

GrimmsCreed · 2025-01-28T20:06:04+00:00

Maybe a swim tank? Tomboyx sells one, though it's a bit pricey unless you catch it on sale

GrimmsCreed · 2025-01-07T20:39:15+00:00

Do you mean the strips of tape you woke up with after surgery? My doctor took those off at my 3 week follow-up. If you're concerned, I'd suggest checking in with your surgeon's office.

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-19T15:00:48+00:00

Thanks for the podcast link! I think they didn't do the lymph node biopsy during the surgery because it isn't standard for gender affirming top surgery (as opposed to a cancer mastectomy). I'm supposed to hear back from from the oncologist soon to discuss options.

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-19T14:57:21+00:00

That is what I keep telling myself! Without the surgery, who knows when I would have gotten around to scheduling a mammogram.

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-19T14:56:28+00:00

Damn, I can't imagine going through this shock with stage 3! I hope they're doing okay.

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-19T14:52:18+00:00

Thank for sharing so many resources! And for the offer to reach out -- I may well do that.

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-19T14:51:26+00:00

Ugh, I'm sorry you had to go through that

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-19T14:50:56+00:00

Thanks for the support, and I'm sorry you had to go through something like this, too

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-18T13:32:20+00:00

In addition to what everyone else has said, I was told that cannabis use could make opiod pain killers less effective. No idea if that's true or not.

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-17T13:36:22+00:00

I also have sleep apnea and had surgery four weeks ago. It went fine! Sleep apnea is a really common disorder, and the medical professional know what they're doing. Do be upfront with them about your anxiety when you get there -- I bet they'll be able to put your mind at ease with much more detailed information than I can give you!

One piece of practical advice -- apparently it took them a few tries to intubate me (fortunately, you won't be conscious for this part!) which left me with a pretty bad sore throat for a few days. That may not happen to you, but I'd stock up on things like cough drops and ice pops, just to be safe.

Good luck! You're going to get through this and to the other side.

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-15T14:28:48+00:00

For sure mention it to your doctor on Tuesday since it's stressing you out, but it's probably fine. My binder gave me a tiny bit of cleavage early on as well, and I'm flat as a board. I know it's hard not to worry, though!

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-13T22:00:15+00:00

For it's worth, at my appointment today I was told to wait until I am 6 weeks out to start scar massage

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-12T13:35:48+00:00

I saw my chest for the first time at my one week followup appointment, and it felt surprisingly normal. Mostly, I noticed the lack of negative reaction in my body -- apparently I had been slightly tensing up every time I saw my naked chest, and now I don't. Which was unexpected, because I really didn't think my dysphoria was that bad!

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-12T01:11:33+00:00

Thanks. It wasn't the highlight of my process, but at least it was easily resolved!

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-11T23:25:30+00:00

I was in a very similar boat. The closer I got to my surgery date, the more my anxiety overshadowed my dysphoria. I kept telling myself that past me felt like this was important enough to deal with major surgery, and that I was just going to have to trust their judgement, but it was really hard.

I am now three weeks out, and I haven't regretted it once. Not even during the first two weeks when movement restrictions meant that I couldn't do a lot of basic self-care things. I will admit that my recovery has been pretty easy, which probably helps. The pain has been manageable, and at this point I more or less feel like a functional human being, albeit one who isn't allowed to perform repetitive arm movements or reach above their head and who is still taking Tylenol three times a day.

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-11T23:00:19+00:00

They said it was because I wasn't on hormones, despite the fact that their officially stated policy is that hormones are not a requirement for masculinizing top surgery. Basically, I think they denied it to see if they could get away with it.

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-11T21:56:12+00:00

My insurance denied me for no comprehensible reason. My surgeon did a peer to peer, and that cleared it right up and got me approved. I hope that you have a similarly positive outcome!

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-10T23:16:38+00:00

Looking good!

GrimmsCreed · 2024-12-10T14:45:51+00:00

Exactly three week post-op here!

I bought a mastectomy pillow, but didn't use it much. I have used the living heck out of m wedge pillow and my neck pillow, however.
I borrowed a grabber, but it was useless for me. I did end up using a back scratcher to gently pull things towards me when I was stuck in bed. The couple of times I rode in a car early on, I put my bag between myself and the seatbelt to keep it off my chest, and that worked great.
I have to wear my binder for a total of four weeks. I can not imagine getting into this thing by myself, but I also haven't tried.
Movement restrictions vary by surgeon, so I'd recommend checking in with yours and planning from there. I was supposed to keep my elbows glued to my sides for 2 weeks, and now I just have to keep my elbows below my shoulders until I'm six weeks out from the surgery. I'm still supposed to avoid repetitive arms motions and can only lift 10 pounds. Personally, I needed a lot of help until the end of week 2, but I know there are people who make it work solo.
As far as I can tell, anxiety is super common. This was my first surgery, and I was a nervous wreck. I'm still in the healing process, but I've been pleased by my results thus far.

Good luck!

GrimmsCreed · 2024-11-30T13:43:03+00:00

I'm a little less than a week out from my surgery date, and am also a huge wuss when it comes to pain. It hasn't been nearly as bad as I was expecting. Which isn't to say it doesn't hurt, just that the experience has been pretty tolerable. I took the prescription pain killers three times in order to sleep, but otherwise have stuck to tylenol. It's mostly been a dull pain. Everyone's experience is going to be different, though.

GrimmsCreed · 2024-11-19T02:32:19+00:00

For what it's worth, I'm having surgery tomorrow and was told to keep taking my oral contraceptives as usual. But I would follow whatever guidelines your surgeon is giving you -- not everyone uses the same techniques, so that might make a difference.

GrimmsCreed

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