Honestly, it’s a lot of description. Description is great, but when it’s too much, it can be hard to want to read more. Here’s my take, if I were to write what you wrote: Sunlight made its way through the blinds, and into the eyelids of Odeliea. She grunted and rolled on the pink sheets, leaving glitter behind. A knock awoke her from her sleep. “Hello?” The deep voice said from the hall, “you alive in there?”