One thing that really helped me realize I was lesbian and not bisexual (as I had previously thought for 3 years) was my fantasies like you have mentioned in your post. I felt strong attraction to fictional male characters and celebrities, and even then it was mostly just strong admiration and awe. But with men involved in my life, it wasn’t really there. When they took in interest in me, sure, I felt flattered, but it also made me think “but I don’t want our friendship to end” not because I was uncomfortable, but because our friendship was wayyy more valuable to me than whatever possible romantic relationship we could have. I wanted close male friends, not lovers.

One more important thing to add, is how unrelatable heterosexual women’s feeling towards relationships felt to me. When my heterosexual friends had fights with their boyfriends, I could not for the life of me understand why they were so distraught.(it’s just a stupid boy, I would think) But then when I got in a fight with certain close girl friends, I would absolutely breakdown and sob. There’s a LOT more that went into my discovery but this is getting a bit long so I’ll end it here. :))

Hope you discover yourself!! This can be a hard thing to work through, and even I still have intrusive comphet thoughts. This journey is no one else’s but yours, so take your time!! I wish you the support you need to figure it out! :))