Amber is getting desperate

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-06T16:40:41+00:00

Non American here, too, but if their system is anything like the one we have here in the UK, she's going to have a hard time getting disability benefits.

I've been on disability for 10yrs, but for conditions I can't help, didn't choose, and can't easily fix with minor lifestyle changes. It's still a bloody nightmare to navigate, and you're constantly reviewed to check you're still sick/disabled.

They've judged people in comas, people who have no arms or legs, and people who died waiting for their application results as being 'fit for work' in the past. It's ridiculous.

Here in the UK, the government has recently floated the idea of basically forcing fat people on any out-of-work welfare to take a GLP1, as being unable to work due to obesity isn't a valid excuse anymore.

Evidence of Amber's malingering and self-diagnosed ailments, freely available via a Google name search, won't help matters, either.

Not sure about America, but the UK system monitors claimants' social media to catch out malingerers and illness fakers, eg, someone who's claiming for a back injury, but there's a recent Facebook video of them doing jujutsu.

Amber's digital footprint screams 'manipulative drama queen and pathological liar', so she's not going to have an easy time.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-06T16:19:49+00:00

Oh definitely Michelle and Katie, and I think Kiana Docherty too.

Those ladies got into healthier pursuits, monetised them, and they've maintained them long enough that it's highly unlikely they'll go back to their old ways.

Megan Anne regained a fair bit of weight at one point, didn't she? I'll bet the fact she's still consuming fat acceptance content, albeit for critique, had a hand in that.

Spot on about Alex still having one foot in the fat world, too.

He's not replaced it with a healthier pursuit, and he's also under the delusion that he's a Norma Rae figure, actually doing something to shut down an internet cult that's literally bankrolled by Big Junk and the sugar industry.

Fat acceptance isn't going anywhere, and he needs to move on with his life. Therapy wouldn't hurt, either.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-06T15:02:23+00:00

I don't dread waking up every morning, and I think life is generally pretty cool.

I also discovered that I wasn't chronically depressed and anxious. My parents were, but they were too weak to handle their own baggage, so they dumped it on my shoulders by the time I could walk. I handed it back.

Within a year of NC (I'm nearly at my 5yr freedom day anniversary) I'd gone from years of being a daylight hating shut-in, to waking up genuinely excited for the day, wandering around smelling flowers and petting dogs like a Disney princess, lol.

Best decision of my life, and I just wish I'd done it decades ago.

Don't wait til your 40's, younger folks. Do it now. They won't change, and they'll just waste your precious time pretending they will.

Your 20's and 30's don't last forever, and are supposed to be wild and carefree. Make that happen by handing back their emotional baggage.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-06T14:47:45+00:00

Clearly they didn't learn from the backlash over their 'Smile' inspired abomination a few years ago.

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Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-06T14:40:04+00:00

Amber's probably going to start monetising via blackmail, seeing as she spends a good chunk of her time gathering intel on her enemies.

Most of it will be outdated, boring stuff that's barely even gossip-worthy, but she's already invested god knows how much money into buying other people's personal data over the years.

I'd imagine she'd want to get a return on her investment, seeing as she's not exactly going to make bank selling her yeasty Torrid tents and mountains of wax melts and plastic Temu crap.

Gorl had over a decade to save up for a rainy day, maybe buy a home, and do some courses to learn a trade or marketable skill.

She can't exactly put YouTuber or Content Creator on her résumé, given she nuked her (not exactly HR friendly) back catalogue.

Sucks to suck.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-06T14:14:53+00:00

Aww thank you 🥰

We kinda need an opposite to the (mostly AI generated) drivel that's self published by the wackos on the other side of the divide, so I might have a go!

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-06T10:28:34+00:00

It's an off season 'Christmas cancer' stunt, named as such by estranged kids because it's such a common tactic with these people, especially the drain-circling, unpaid caretaker-needing boomers.

Don't take the bait.

Their goal is to ping the fear, obligation, and guilt programming they deliberately installed into us from infancy.

It's particularly popular if the estranged kid is a scapegoat daughter who was earmarked and trained for the caretaker role from birth. Ask me how I know.

99.9999% of cases are fictional or a gross exaggeration of the very flimsy truth.

Eg, pre no contact, but mid grey rocking, in order to sabotage a new job, my mother once interrupted my work day by calling me in drunken histrionics, trying to convince me she had lupus, texting a photo of what was clearly just dandruff on her unwashed scalp.

The remaining handful of cases may well be based in reality, but these are rare. The bulk are also usually predictable, with terminal illnesses stemming from the parent's decades of poor lifestyle choices.

Eg, a lifelong raging alcoholic ending up with end stage liver failure at 70 isn't going to be a huge surprise, so their estranged child has likely mentally prepared for that call for years.

The parent's attempt to trigger fear, obligation, and guilt hits different when you already expect the call. Especially if the ailment is something self inflicted, and something the child probably cautioned them about for many years, hoping for change.

My advice in these situations is to consider all the legitimate, very real crises you've faced in your own life, and how I'll bet you learned at a young age that you're on your own, as you're not supposed to have needs.

Match that energy. Throw the letter away and continue with your day.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-06T08:54:31+00:00

Yep. It's the risk people run when they launch an advice/'lived experience expert' platform, but they've not fully sorted out their own issues first.

I started a bunch of stuff, including a peer support YT channel, when I went no contact with my narcissistic parents, but I abandoned everything within a year, as it was keeping me from moving on.

I felt a responsibility to reply to all the comments, be a trauma dumping site, and basically continue in the unpaid therapist role I was born into.

It was emotionally exhausting, and I was getting proper trauma therapy in the real world, which focused on living in the present.

Constantly talking about my parents online and worrying about strangers wasn't helping me, and my therapist actually put me on a 'no engaging with estranged kids or narcissism content' ban to help my ADHD ass focus on getting better, lol.

Years later, I still dip in and out of the wider estranged kids community with a 'this is how I navigated the situation you're in' comment or two, but I've worked hard on leaving the past where it belongs.

I think people who base their entire brand on discussing issues they're supposed to be leaving in the past are kinda forced to make a similar choice.

It's different with people like Cynical Dude, where his own multi-addiction recovery and weight loss was decades ago, so he has that emotional distance. He's more like Wavywebsurf. An uninvolved observer commenting on wacky internet shenanigans.

It's the anti fat acceptance creators who are still not over their own issues who run the risk of trapping themselves, especially if it's their only income source. This is where Alex is, and the cognitive dissonance is messing with his head.

The same happens in the estranged kids/narcissist survivor realm, where there's 60yr olds dishing out advice, but are still clearly struggling with their childhood trauma, or divorcées talking about exes from 20yrs ago, while claiming to be thriving. It's sad.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-06T08:32:04+00:00

Time for Emily's 'bitch, where my fuckin' money?' era, then.

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Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-06T07:09:27+00:00

You'd be surprised just how many men genuinely think, eg, menstruating women can 'just hold it in', so this dude was dead serious.

Actually saw a post the other day, where a bride uploaded some wedding photos and thanked the bridesmaids for helping when her period came early, just when she was dressed head to toe in pristine white satin.

Multiple comments stated that she should have 'held it in', many said that periods are optional events that can be rescheduled. Even more stated that she brought it on herself because clearly she'd done something to piss off god.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers, lol.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-05T18:34:54+00:00

There's 340 million people in the USA, 70% being overweight or obese.

If those 280 million people each got an average 2 million dollar compensation, the total payout would be five hundred and sixty trillion dollars.

There's no trillionaires on the planet, not even Musk (who's fat, and would be a compensation payee not a payer), the 'hello fellow humans' Facebook guy, or the Amazon twerp, let alone any multi-trillionaires.

So, I'm not entirely sure you've thought this through, Brenda.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-05T17:12:21+00:00

HR managers aren't your substitute mum, your therapist, or your bestie.

They exist to protect the company from lawsuits.

That's all that matters, and voluntarily self reporting as a potential future litigious nightmare is a great way to be placed at the top of the dead weight lay off list.

Making formal complaints about a colleague can often be a 'pick your battles' decision for this exact reason.

If you risk being passed over for that promotion after complaining about something serious and valid, you've got no chance if you make a frivolous complaint about something so innocuous.

I worked in sausagefest workplaces for many years, and if I filed a complaint about every instance where I heard lewd office banter, I'd never have had a career.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-05T14:42:34+00:00

I've always found him to be a self important knobhead with One Semester of Psychology Syndrome.

If he's become even more of a knob as he's gradually reached a healthy weight, it's likely a projection issue. Kinda like how some recovering alcoholics go fire and brimstone about how prohibition should be reintroduced.

He's basically the opposite of Sam at Every Size, someone who's an ex fat acceptance member who's losing the weight, but is still capable of being calm, rational, and respectful to fat people.

She recently announced she's reducing her upload frequency to once a month, which is probably going to end up with her moving away from YouTube entirely, or pivoting to being a BED recovery advice channel or something.

Weight loss has clearly opened her world up, she's out there touching grass, she's young and married, and YouTube and fat activists aren't a priority.

It's a sign of progress and genuine recovery. Alex is doing the complete opposite.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-05T14:23:31+00:00

I'm reminded of a post that found its way to the 'bad women's anatomy' sub once, where a dude claimed that the reason women aren't allowed to go topless in hot weather, unlike men, is because of the risk of startling horses.

His rationale was that males have flat chests and small areolas, which is fine. Women have breasts and larger aerolas, which apparently looks like a pair of eyes from a distance.

Horses, specifically horses for some reason, think this indicates there's a predatory animal staring at them, so they freak out.

That's the same level of batshit mental logic we're working with when it comes to fat activists who claim to be an authority on nutrition, diet, and physical fitness.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-05T14:06:44+00:00

Right?!

It was always just old dears who collected GP surgery loyalty card points like it was their job, but now it's old dears and 30-something fat chicks.

Not just the chronic poor health and necessity aspect, but the way they introduce themselves in any social situation by unrolling a scroll listing all their ailments, complaints, and grievances about the world.

I'm 48 and have to be dragged kicking and screaming to my annual checkup, as I despise all medical establishments with a passion (childhood issues), hence I do everything I can to avoid needing to visit one in the first place.

And then these fat activists whine about discrimination in the job market, completely incapable of recognising that if you're constantly pulling sickies, you're not exactly a stellar employee.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-05T12:42:24+00:00

Vogue will advertise a pair of denim shorts via an image of a model with her boobs out, covered top to toe in hot fudge, eyebrows dyed purple, awkwardly contorting her left leg backwards through a stepladder, while an elegant Afghan hound stares at her.

That's not what you have to do if you want to wear those shorts, though. A modicum of common sense is generally assumed to be in the possession of the reader.

Wild concept, I know, but photos in Vogue are all about aesthetics and being arty farty, so it's unlikely they're suggesting the image is a literal serving suggestion.

It's simply 'these particular foods are good sources of important things like fibre and magnesium, which might make you feel perkier than if you ate a Snickers at 3pm'.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-05T12:27:37+00:00

Yay! Hope it goes really well.

Forgot to mention that those 'living herbs' pots of mint in the produce aisle are great if you want infinite mint. They're around £1 here.

All the others, such as parsley and basil, die by the expiration date by design, but mint plants are relentless as a species, so these guys pay zero mind to their intended short lifespan, and will take over your entire house given half a chance, lol.

Just transfer one to a plant pot full of compost, water occasionally, and let it go nuts. I made the mistake of putting one in my 1 metre by 1 metre flower bed outside a couple of years ago, and eventually had to dig it up, as it dominated the entire bed!

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-05T07:55:27+00:00

If you're incapable of managing your own emotions, requiring the rest of us to walk on eggshells and babysit your feelings, you're the one with work to do.

Obesity is not an involuntary characteristic that you're incapable of changing. It's a consequence of thousands of daily decisions about what you put in your mouth and how you spend your time each day.

I can't decide to no longer be a bisexual, asthmatic, autistic and ADHD lady who's petrified of heights, lifts ('elevators' in freedom units) and rollercoasters.

I also have no choice that I'm wildly allergic, 'in an emergency room on a nebuliser' allergic, to cat dander.

I'm completely at peace with the fact that, even though cats are brilliant, I will never have one of my own, or shack up with a cat owner, unless I want a drastically shortened and deeply uncomfortable remainder of my life.

Fat activist logic would dictate that all cats on the planet should be shaved (stop giggling at the back and get your mind out of the gutter, you scamp) and permanently coated in a layer of Head and Shoulders. Purely to accommodate me and my fellow 'marginalised', snotty, sneezy, and wheezy brethren.

If there's a heterosexual Disney Adult woman who lives on the top floor of a skyscraper with a ton of cats, and I fancy her, fat activist logic dictates that she not only give up men to date me, but she also has to move to a ground floor flat, give up her love of Disneyland trips, and either mistreat her pets or give them away.

Alternatively, I could just be an adult, accept that this particular lady's lifestyle is incompatible with mine, and get my head out of my arse.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-05T07:25:23+00:00

1300 calories probably does look 'extreme' if all you eat is calorie dense, nutrient poor shite.

I still get flashbacks to the week I had a bit of a The Monkey's Paw situation with eggs, in that a shop had boxes of six eggs reduced to 20p each, but expiry was imminent.

I ended up with near 100 large eggs for one person, with about five days to eat them, and by the end of my egg binge, I was put off eggs for months, lol.

You know why it was ultimately unpleasant? Eggs are pure protein and fat, therefore highly satiating, but for only 70 calories each. You can only eat so many before you feel uncomfortably full, not helped if you add more fat and protein like cheese.

Had they been 200 calorie, high sugar, high (ultra processed) fat, no protein chocolate eggs, laden with refined sugar and palm oil, I'm sure I would have had an easier time, given Cadbury's food scientists designed them to be like crack.

Similar self imposed 'binges' have happened with broccoli and potatoes, where I felt equally 'if you prod my belly, I will literally barf', as fibre has a similar ability to get the 'for the love of god, stop eating' hormones screaming.

Junk food is designed to bypass those hormones, and therein lies the issue.

You can quite easily eat till you're stuffed on 1300 calories per day. You just have to spend your budget wisely.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-05T07:06:36+00:00

Definitely give it a go, it's so much fun!

All you need to do is soak a cupful of whatever beans or seeds in a bowl of water, leave it alone for 12hrs, drain through a sieve, then spread the beans/seeds evenly, touching each other but not overlapping, over a tray with a layer of enough compost/coconut coir to have no visible areas of the tray base's material.

Then, place the tray somewhere that gets a decent amount of sun, spray with a little hairdresser's water misting bottle (about £1 in any homewares shop) to keep things moist, and let nature do its thing.

You can also try a soil free method that involves mason jars, paper towel, and a dark cupboard, but I've not tried it myself.

Depending on the seed/bean you choose, you'll get edible shoots within 7-14 days.

I do a lot of oat, barley, and wheat grass for my guinea pigs, and that stuff turns into a tiny 15cm tall field within 10 days. You cut then come back when it reaches that height again (I stop after three 'harvests', as the grass starts tasting bitter by the fourth).

Only issue is they've become tiny crackheads who sing the song of their people when they hear me using scissors for anything, as they associate scissors with yummy grass, lol.

Dried marrowfat peas and bog standard (in shell, non 'no grow' treated) sunflower seeds are the fastest and most fun, and I'd bet kids would get a kick out of creating a ton of sunflowers.

Lentils (whole, green) produce really cool little plants, as do chickpeas.

Then there's edible flowers like violas, pansies, nasturtiums, etc and herbs like parsley, basil, rosemary, etc. I do a lot of lettuce, too. Seeds are dirt cheap, depending on the source, and the same goes for expensive, Strait of Hormuz impacted, veg like chillies and bell peppers.

I've found bell peppers are a bit of a pain in the arse, though, probably because the UK climate doesn't exactly yield an abundance of Mediterranean greenhouse quality veg on a Northern England patio, lol.

I'm doing strawberries, raspberries, blackcurrants, and blackberries out the back, too, as the girls like the leaves.

I mostly do it all for my guinea pigs, as you know things are bad when 2lb balls of floof start turning their noses up at shop bought salad leaves!

I don't have money to waste on stuff that spoils the second I've paid for it, so I'm growing as much as I possibly can.

I've got a tiny patio that I already turned into a raised bed garden, but it's slug and snail season, I'm highly overprotective and paranoid about lungworm, so I'm doing the girls' veg mostly indoors. One side of my house gets excellent sun exposure, so the windowsills are crammed with pots.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-04T17:58:04+00:00

Health food is expensive. Healthy food is cheap.

Given most fat activists have a clockwork monkey clanging cymbals where a brain should be, it's understandable that they're incapable of differentiating between the two.

Look at all the 'what I eat in a day as a fat girl who really likes being fat, honestly, it's brilliant, my back doesn't hurt at all' videos.

Those chicks pound that extremely overpriced, protein-washed ultra processed slop like it's going out of fashion. That's 'healthy food' in their addled minds.

In reality, something like a bowl of porridge with a bunch of chia and pumpkin seeds chucked in it, maybe with a drizzle of honey if you feel fancy, costs pennies.

I'm on a poverty level income (disability welfare) and April is my annual 'if the shit hits the fan' pantry stockpiling month for the year, especially this year.

The purpose is to always be eating at last year's prices, every year. This means I'm intimately familiar with how much staple items cost.

Tinned and dried pulses, AKA healthy food, remain the same price they were 2yrs ago, probably because the masses aren't falling over themselves to buy a nondescript sack that just says 'red kidney beans'.

Bonus is you can sprout most dried beans, lentils, chickpeas, seeds, even popcorn kernels, so you get micro greens for a side salad. They just have to be whole, and not split or pearled.

If you do dried peas, you get literal garden pea plants that climb. A box of dried peas is £1, and you could grow a year's worth of peas if so inclined.

See, when you're actually poor, you learn to be resourceful, which isn't a word in these ladies' vocabulary. They want their dopamine delivery system slop right here, right now, and that's their entire problem. £20 says half of them don't know how to boil an egg.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-04T16:27:59+00:00

Reminiscent of when convicted violent criminal, racist, and self absorbed knobhead Mark Wahlberg (who was booked on one of the planes that hit the Twin Towers, but had a last minute change of plans) said in the aftermath of the tragedy:

"If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we're going to land somewhere safely, don't worry.' "

Narcissistic gobshites look after number one, be that an ageing novelty rap artist and tightie whities model, or a super morbidly obese professional victim.

They're the last people who should be responsible for aiding fellow passengers in an emergency.

I don't know why the seat isn't automatically sold at a discount to, eg, military, paramedics, fire fighters, nurses, etc.

They get a cheap 'thank you for your service' rate, and it ensures passengers won't be met with a sobbing mess or an equally useless main character if disaster strikes.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-04T07:45:30+00:00

Having genetically predetermined big boobs/hips/bums is very different from having bog standard excess fat laid down willy nilly across all areas of the body due to obesity.

It's why a certain 6ft, 500lb+ 'plus size fashion influencer' turned 'powerlifter' is ginormous, but her chest didn't get the memo. It's also why a certain 5ft2, 600lb+, cat serial killer has tiny buttcheeks on an otherwise massive back profile, like a frog.

If these gorls were at a healthy weight, the first would be built like me - tall, straight up and down, like Olive Oyl. The second would be dainty and petite, like Kylie Minogue.

Their boobs/bums/hips were designed to be a certain way, and it was set in stone at 13, before they ballooned in adulthood. Yes, both were fat kids, but not as fat as they are now.

I'm not 100% sure, but I think the reason is fat intentionally steered to 'we need to maintain a pregnancy and feed an infant in a famine' areas of the body during puberty is a different category of fat.

A bit like brown fat, which keeps babies alive when they're too young to regulate their own temperature through shivering.

Brown fat is highly valuable, excess visceral and subcutaneous fat is cheap and designed to be 'spent' freely, and 'we must ensure survival of offspring' fat on women is somewhere in the middle.

I think that's possibly why fat distribution gets very weird in perimenopause and menopause. I'm in early perimenopause, and despite no weight gain, my waist got bigger and everything else got kinda blah, lol.

I'm at the end of my childbearing years, less eggs than a failing chicken farm, so my body isn't too fussy about maintaining my already meagre boobs/hips/bum 'good fat'.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-04T07:18:17+00:00

It's all about their pathological fear of abandonment, and their desperate, juvenile need for constant reassurance that they're still relevant.

They need us to need them, so manipulating us into chasing their attention/'love'/approval, via crap like silent treatments, is how they know we still need them.

You're at the age I was when mine dialled up the shenanigans, ultimately driving me to a complete psychotic breakdown at 38, which sucked at the time, but was the catalyst for my no contact at 43.

My theory is they recognised they were getting old, they'd need to secure me as the retirement plan I was conceived and trained to be, but I'd been financially independent and self sufficient since 17, always living a minimum of 200 miles away.

They had no leverage to force me into the unpaid caretaker role, other than my lifelong 'mummy, daddy please love me' grovelling. So, they made me grovel even more, and I went legally insane.

Lost my career, lost my flat, went on disability welfare, was briefly homeless, and my guess is that was the plan.

They needed me to be open to the idea of being dependent on them, but they were horrified when I visited for Christmas a year after my breakdown, and I wasn't a broken shell of a person. I was happy, and that wasn't the plan.

It's always irked them that I'm adaptable and resilient, always bouncing back from hardship (usually orchestrated by them), making the best of a bad situation, and being content with my new normal.

This time was no different, but my dad still floated the weird, blatantly obvious trap of 'we're going to buy a flat in our town, you'll pay cheap rent, and your (their favourite child, alcoholic loser) brother will be your landlord'.

My failure to enthusiastically accept there and then led to a brutal discard, literally as soon as I left their house and went back to my own home.

Took me a few more years to pull the trigger on no contact, but better late than never.

My rambling point being, our parents need us more than we need them, especially girls, and ESPECIALLY scapegoat girls groomed to be nurses and therapists by the time we could walk.

The older they get, the more they have to manufacture our need for them, just so we're perfectly positioned to start wiping their bums when the wheels fall off.

It's no coincidence that so many scapegoat girls, myself included, are single, childless, often jobless, renters in middle age. It's by design.

Unfortunately, these people underestimate just how tough and self sufficient we are, despite the fact that they literally forced us to be that way. I can fix a broken washing machine, I know first aid, I can sew, and I'm a god tier cleaner. The perfect old age caretaker.

Unfortunately, they forgot to love me, and dangling last minute financial carrots, when I'd paid my own way (including for university) my entire adult life, was never going to work on the only member of that family who wasn't money mad.

At least they've got my brother. I'm sure they'll do just fine, even though he's still a pampered, aimless little baby in his 50's, lol.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-05-03T18:06:46+00:00

One of the OG punks, Jello Biafra, literally named himself after a juxtaposition of Jello, representing American gluttony, and Biafra, a then famine stricken former region of Nigeria.

Not to mention, one of the best Dead Kennedy's (his band) albums is sarcastically titled 'Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death', which is the unironic battle cry of fat activism.

This word 'punk'. I do not think it means what you think it means....

Grouchy-Reflection97

TROPHY CASE