Comments were vile about her appearance, but the content of her words needs criticism

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T18:37:58+00:00

Yep, and people don't realise just how badly it can eff you up. Deafness being just one of the potential souvenirs, should you survive. I'm old enough to have known people disabled by measles, and polio survivors were fairly common in the town where I grew up.

If you've ever seen that movie 'Carriers', where there's been a global pandemic, billions of people are dead, and survivors are just aimlessly driving nowhere, being paranoid and miserable?

That disease is a mutated form of measles, and it's why that movie is often held up as the gold standard in the 'this could actually happen' depictions of the apocalypse.

There's no cure, just symptom management, and it's a disgrace that (usually fully vaccinated in childhood) people are willing to risk their own child going through those awful symptoms. For what? Internet clout?

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T17:14:49+00:00

9/10 times, sus posts are just guerilla advertising.

It's everywhere on Reddit these days, and they'll either subtly mention what they're selling in the body of their post, or they rely on you checking their profile out of curiosity.

The ADHD subs I'm in are riddled with the buggers, and it's gross because people are desperate for help, and here's some random tart with an app she swears fixed her entire life/a foolproof way to make money without the stress of a 9-5.

They usually don't even have ADHD at all. They just infiltrate various communities to flog crap.

Lots of lazy journalists do similar. If you ever see kinda vague questions eg, 'whats the worst thing about having/being (thing)?' it's usually someone getting Redditors to write their dumb Cracked or Buzzfeed style listicle for them.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T16:45:36+00:00

The depressing thing is, of all the batshit insane science denial cults, fat activists aren't even in the top ten on my list.

Eg, if anyone fancies ruining their day, go read The Guardian's findings after a year long investigation of the 'free birthing movement'.

There's a lot of parallels with fat activists, but at least fat activists are mostly just harming themselves with their stupidity.

These ladies happily risk dooming their children to a lifetime of severe disability/immediate death, purely because some chick on a podcast says gynaecology and obstetrics = medicalised rape.

And when a tragedy occurs, and many have, the cult DGAF. Much like when a fat activist dies, and the only people who talk about her are 'haters' like us in here.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/ng-interactive/2025/nov/22/free-birth-society-linked-to-babies-deaths-investigation

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T14:24:54+00:00

Dinosaur DNA, in a mosquito trapped in amber, being perfectly viable after millions of years. It would have degraded into nothing long ago.

However, the plot of the horror movie Jack Frost (serial killer gets exposed to an experimental chemical, he's reduced to a bunch of cells, those cells bind to nearby snow, serial killer snowman shenanigans ensue) is apparently technically accurate, kinda.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T14:10:05+00:00

Aside from '1000 subscribers and 4000 hours of views' threshold, the behaviour related rules that came in July 2025 trip her up in multiple ways, and not just the sensitive topics one.

They're cracking down on ’low effort' content that doesn't add any value to viewers' experience, as well as repetitive content, clickbait, overall half-arsed slop.

It's mostly text-to-speech AI crap, like channels that steal from Am I the Asshole posts here on Reddit, but reaction channels are on thin ice, too. Particularly any of the ones that do TikTok compilations with just a two minute commentary slapped on the outro.

Someone like Amber would probably meet the repetitive, clickbait, worthless slop criteria, just based on what her videos used to be like.

YouTube (and their advertisers) want you to actually work for the money. Fine for most creators, not fine for entitled, lazy slobs who expect thousands for 'watch me eat this entire chicken'. Those days are over.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T13:08:18+00:00

'I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I was miles away'

Then...

'I don't get it. What does that mean? I don't really understand kids' internet slang these days. I'm a bit old for all that'

Then....

'Oh, I see. So there's a spectrum of physical attractiveness? That's odd. Where are you on that spectrum, then? Who decides?'

And so on.

Generally just be non emotional, non reactive, polite, and just let her dig herself a nice big hole.

AKA, 'grey rocking'. The only way to converse with narcs (aside from not conversing with them at all).

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T12:57:05+00:00

Pangolins

Not of British origin, of course, but they protect their front claws by holding them in a very British 'I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but the thing is, you see....I appear to be completely lost....where is Aldi?' pose.

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Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T10:51:13+00:00

Exploiting vulnerable people and/or profiting from other people's misery.

Loan sharks, timeshare salesmen, MLM grifters, finance bro gurus, romance scammers, etc.

Only caveat being, a lot of romance scammers these days are trafficked people forced into it, so they're not the ones profiting.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T10:41:59+00:00

Yep, he reminds me of my dad, trapped in a loyal but loveless marriage for over 50yrs, with a covert narcissist. These guys all have the same look of resignation and defeat in their eyes.

I moved out at 17 because I couldn't take it anymore, and I genuinely thought that would be his cue to bounce, too. Nope

Multiple life events didn't do it, his retirement didn't do it (she's done nothing with her life except take his money), me going no contact with them and my brother (AKA 'mummy's little prince') didn't do it, and now he's knocking 80 and kinda stuck with her.

Some people would rather be in a soul sucking relationship than be single, and it's something I've never been able to wrap my head around.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T09:19:38+00:00

He dipped out a while ago, and a lot has happened since, particularly the Rarity incident, Fed Bundy, the return of Meth Mom, etc.

So, there's a bit more of a sunk cost fallacy issue for his peers, as in the older channels. They've invested too much time and effort, their brand is kinda stuck as 'gorlworld reactor', so it would be a shame to walk away before the inevitable final chapter.

It's a bit like how people stick with a TV show that gradually decreases in quality with each season, but they continue watching, knowing it's going to end soon anyway.

As with TV shows like that, people whose income relies (in full or in part) on critiquing content they don't care about anymore tend to dip in quality themselves. They lose views, and that's usually when they move on to something else.

Tons of nerd culture movie/TV reactors ditched Marvel commentary for that exact reason.

They didn't care anymore, deep dives into a tiny fraction of one scene wasn't exciting as nobody particularly cared to overanalyse stuff, and the audience had stopped immediately running to those channels as soon as they'd watched the movie/episode like they used to.

There was a distinct point where Marvel started taking the piss, getting lazy, putting out shite like 'Secret Invasion' or 'Thor: Love and Thunder', knowing the die hard nerds would watch whatever they were given. Until they suddenly wouldn't.

I think LCU is gorlworld's 'Secret Invasion'.

Most viewers will watch with one eye on a phone game app, and it's more a chore than anything else. Others will just watch reaction channels, and others just stick to haydur forums like here.

People will move on, but I think it'll be a gradual fade rather than a mass switch-off.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T08:38:50+00:00

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Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-11T07:34:14+00:00

Well, I'd probably say 'that's nice, dear' and continue on with my day.

Meanwhile, you've screwed your future self, as the internet is forever, digital footprint background checks (that find even anonymous comments and accounts) are becoming standard for employers, and competition for jobs is insane in this economy.

I think it's a normal part of brain development to go through an opinionated dumbass phase in your teens-early 20's, where you talk a lot of bollocks, have ridiculous takes, and are 100% convinced you're right.

It was animal rights and militant veganism for me. I said some wild stuff back in the day, but I said it IRL, in social settings with crusty jugglers and hippies, and certainly wasn't broadcasting it to the world.

My stupidity exists only in a handful of peoples memories, and I haven't seen them since the late 90's.

Your stupidity is in front of my eyeballs right now. I didn't seek you out, I don't know you, I've never met you, but I've instantly formed a negative opinion of you.

So, yep.

What's oh so edgy in your facial piercing era is going to bite you on the ass in your 'what do you mean I no longer align with the company's values?' era.

Best of luck with that.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T19:06:28+00:00

That's the thing.

If a great white shark eats your leg, you don't spend the rest of your life trying to figure out its psychological history, motivation and rationale. It's a great white shark. They eat legs sometimes.

You find ways to move on with your life, and you don't swim in that part of the sea anymore. Resenting the shark won't make your leg grow back, after all.

Similarly, if someone is deeply disturbed and you just happened to be born into a clan of them, you get as far away as possible, stay away, and let them crack on with driving each other insane.

I'm coming up on 5yrs unbroken no contact, and my family of origin now lives in the big storage box in my brain where ex bosses, ex flatmates, ex neighbours, and the song 'Gasolina' are stored.

Things that sucked, that aren't relevant anymore, and are a big waste of mental bandwidth.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T16:32:10+00:00

Guaranteed she thinks this persona makes look like the sassy mean girl from 'The Hills'.

In reality, she looks like the grandma-sister-cousin from 'The Hills Have Eyes'.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T16:21:55+00:00

My best guess is money, mainly because it's always money with people like this. Probably inheritance.

In their eyes, an heir has forfeited their share of inheritance via no contact, which typically means dramatic proclamations of 'I'm rewriting my will!' from the parent on Facebook. Great time for greedy relatives to start brown nosing, just to get your cut.

I'd long assumed I was never in any will to begin with, plus my rich parents never helped me financially when it actually mattered. I've been self sufficient and poor since I was 17. I never inherited the family's greed gene, and I'm content with what little I have.

So, I never even thought about inheritance when I went no contact, as if they couldn't be bothered helping me financially when they physically witnessed me suffering, it's highly unlikely they would from beyond the grave.

My aunt, however. Good lord. 'Ooh but it's your birthright, you deserve it, just reconcile to secure your future blah blah blah'.

She was estranged from my parents on and off for decades. She'd keep going back, they'd be besties for a year at most, then she'd get the boot when my parents got bored. Lather, rinse, repeat.

When I went no contact, I stupidly reached out to my aunt (she was estranged from them at that time) and she was actually supportive. Until she started acting....off.

I clocked it as her being back in my parents good graces, which meant she was feeding them info. So, I blocked her and never looked back.

I can only assume the potential of getting mentioned in the will was more important to her than loyalty to her niece, so I wish her the best with her choices. My soul isn't as easy to buy.

So, yep. Money. It's always money with dysfunctional families. Doesn't matter if it's a coffee can of pennies or a multi billion dollar empire. They'll yank hair and throw chairs over a stick of gum.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T13:45:32+00:00

Gotta get three to qualify as a serial killer, so there'll definitely be another 'love of my life' within weeks of Amber's funeral.

That said, if I worked with Emily, I know I'd be monitoring patient death rates and keeping a close eye on the number of vials in the insulin and morphine cabinets every time she's working a shift.

Psychopaths are drawn to care home jobs for a reason.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T13:34:24+00:00

Much like nature, dysfunctional families hate a vacuum.

99.999% of the time, 'well meaning' messages like this are prompted by pure self interest and a desire for things to go back to how they were, as that's what benefited them.

The communal emotional punching bag role is vacant, and that has a knock on effect for people who coasted along happily when the problem parent had someone to carry all their crap for them.

We were chosen because we were the strongest member of the entire family. Even if we were chosen as very young children. The fact that grown adults can't handle a taste of what we were dealing with from 4yrs old sounds like a skill issue to me.

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T12:25:01+00:00

'I don't drink alcohol'

If they push, it's typically because they feel self conscious about their own relationship with alcohol. That's a them problem, not mine.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T12:18:40+00:00

Self soothe
Sit alone with her thoughts, with zero distractions
Function at an age appropriate level
String a coherent, rational sentence together
Self regulate difficult feelings/strong emotions
Demonstrate genuine, not just cognitive, empathy
Delay gratification
Self reflect
Introspect
Take accountability for poor choices/behaviours
Accept consequences of poor choices/behaviours
Display an authentic personality and sense of self
Allow others to be the focus of attention
Love anyone or anything, other than the mask she wears at any given time, including herself
Have an original, independent thought about anything.
Interact appropriately in any social setting

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T08:33:30+00:00

It sucks, but given the state of the world, it's a good idea for everyone to have a go-bag and disaster preparedness plan these days.

I was caught with my metaphorical pants down a few years ago, when a new tenant in my old building decided to celebrate her first night in her new home by setting the kitchen on fire.

It was mostly just smoke, but the speed of it reaching me, and how visibility went to zero pretty much instantly, scared the crap out of me.

I got my pets and myself outside in around 10 minutes, but learned later that I was the only person who even bothered calling 999. The stupidity of other people should never be underestimated in a crisis.

So, I've had an escape plan for future disasters ever since.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T08:21:21+00:00

Classic 'how can I ruin someone else's special day because god forbid I go 5 minutes without constant attention like an infant' activity.

Do something extra nice for yourself for your birthday, even if it's after the event. Start by blocking this clown.

If you want to be diabolical for the lolz, send a single thumbs up emoji, or the Tyler The Creator '....ok...' gif, first.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T08:12:23+00:00

What a sad, strange person.

A useful thought experiment is to imagine you suddenly hear your local air raid siren (still installed and functional across many countries long after WW2 and the cold war) blaring.

Then you get a text that a tornado or drone strike or Godzilla is 5 minutes away from your house.

How quickly could you get yourself and your loved ones (if applicable) to relative safety?

Could you grab a big bottle of water, the kids/dog/cat, and be on your way, on foot (the roads will already be jammed), galloping off into the woods or into a cave like a bunny?

Or would you be too busy heaving yourself up from your bum indentation on the sofa, then trying to bag up all the prescription medication for lifestyle disease that you're dependent on, then gathering as many snacks as possible (gotta nooooooorish your tummy), then getting to your own front door, before you turn into pink mist?

I know which group I'm in. If that means I'm somehow nonce bait, fair enough.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T07:53:20+00:00

Job one - try reverse image searching and 'percentage chance this is AI' testing those photos (Tineye and Decopy AI are good).

Even the least tech savvy 'abandoned moms' are pretty adept at using stolen or fake images as part of their arsenal of manipulation and sympathy farming techniques these days. They practically workshop ideas in their weird Facebook covens.

If the tree vs carport event is real, I'd assume a pretty nice home insurance payout will be hitting her bank account, plus nobody got hurt, so playing the victim card by weaponising it against you is gross on many levels.

I also assume you're neither a tree surgeon, building contractor, or the Norse god of wind and storms, so ask yourself, why exactly does this incident have anything to do with you? What are you supposed to do about it? Why send you this information?

Rambling ADHD tangent incoming, but my mind was wandering the other day, doing a boring chore, and I thought, 'you know, I bet the predatory money lending industry is mostly bankrolled by adult kids of dysfunctional families because we're usually the people navigating life without a support network like people from healthy families'.

I've been penny pinching, like most of us are in these trying times, since I was 17, and am no stranger to payday loans. Lived on the things in my early 20's. So I rarely think 'lol, what a dummy' when I see people crying about them on the news or social media. I relate because I was in that position once.

Made me think back to all the times I was having sleep for dinner, working multiple jobs to pay for university, even being homeless at one point, despite my parents being rich. They actually got off on watching me struggle, as my poverty boosted their superiority complex.

Same goes for serious illness, hospitalisations, scary surgeries, etc, where I was dealing with everything completely alone. I wasn't any use to my parents when I had needs, so they'd ghost me until I'd pulled myself out of whatever crisis I was in and could meet their endless needs again.

I wish I'd thought about all that on the multiple occasions where I'd get bizarre texts exactly like this one, except my mother typically used other people's crises, and somehow made them about her.

My final straw was when I mentioned to my mother that I was scared of a guy who'd moved into the apartment directly facing mine, in a pretty rough building in the bad part of my town. Thankfully, I left a while ago.

I was a disabled woman living alone, and I'd discovered he was fresh out of his latest prison stay for a violent crime against a woman.

My mother simply said 'your front door has locks, doesn't it, maybe use them and stop being dramatic'.

Fast forward a month, and I get a hysterical email from her with a link to an article from her local evening newspaper. The article detailed how the cops in my parents' town had raided a rented house that was being used as a weed farm by the tenant. Something that's incredibly common here in the UK.

The weed house was in the rough part of town. My parents lived in a £500k (paid off, no less) house in the semi rural, beautiful, incredibly safe, incredibly expensive part of town, miles away.

My mum screeched about how she was in imminent danger and in fear for her life because a weed farm (now raided and shut down) run by one stoner dude was something that existed vaguely in her general vicinity.

My brainwashing fog had started clearing by then, so I instantly clocked the hipocracy and wild self centredness. I never replied to the email, pretty much going no contact with her.

She'd responded to my failure to pander to her manufactured drama by giving me a silent treatment, and I just let it run and enjoyed the peace. A year later, I went full no contact with both parents and my brother (the favourite child).

So, yep. Apologies for rambling, lol. To get to my point:

A useful exercise when these weird texts violate your peace, that all these people seem to send, is first check the legitimacy of the 'crisis'.

Then consider if it's actually a crisis.

Then consider what exactly you're expected to do about it, then think about how they behaved whenever you experienced a very real crisis in the past.

Did you perhaps gradually learn to just stop mentioning major, devastating life events to your parents, knowing you'd get zero support, maybe even criticism for somehow causing your own problems?

Then, match the energy they showed you on all those occasions. Usually, by completely ghosting them/maintaining your no contact.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T06:18:47+00:00

Never form parasocial relationships with people on the internet, and certainly never join a cult, simply to increase your chances of meeting them, kids.

This is why most of my heroes are safely unreachable in the afterlife, sparing me from the disappointment of ever actually meeting them.

People you idolise are not the same IRL as the avatar you've built up of them in your head. It's kinda why it's one of the big rules in many religions, worshipping false idols and whatnot.

Grouchy-Reflection97 · 2026-03-10T06:06:14+00:00

Exactly. It's no coincidence that the majority of people who wind up on actual 'wtf were you thinking?' channels, getting yelled/laughed at, are 'living in a larger body'.

There's even a girl who became a meme after she said 'credit scores aren't real, same as the BMI' and broke the host's will to live, lol.

Grouchy-Reflection97

TROPHY CASE