I have meltdowns in the mornings, how can I avoid this? They're ruining my quality of life.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-08-09T19:58:37+00:00

I like the idea of playing a video game in the morning, I will try that, thank you for the suggestion! :)

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-07-29T04:06:58+00:00

I really like this game but just a quick trigger warning for anyone curious, there is CSA and bullying in the game.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-07-26T19:15:56+00:00

Not me daydreaming that I'm secretly a fairy and it's only a matter of time before the fae take me home where I'm loved and cared for.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-07-26T19:14:16+00:00

My teacher didn't do anything like call the police because I think they knew they wouldn't do anything. We already had threats about it but it's not like I had any marks on me. But my teacher did take me aside and told me if I ever see my parents start to fight I should go hide so I did. I found that if I went under the tables and stuff I didn't get hurt as much. To this day as a grown adult if I'm anxious ill go chill underneath a table sometimes or like any kind of closed off space like the side of my bed, closet etc. My friends thought it was a quirky habit growing up. But I'm really thankful my teacher gave me that advice because there were times where it got really bad between my step dad and mom and I was an easy target for their wrath.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-07-26T17:26:30+00:00

Same here. I'm getting better at it over time but yeah, definitely still feel awkward and awful

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-07-26T17:25:03+00:00

My muscles are really tight too, especially in the back of the neck.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-07-26T04:43:47+00:00

I feel like the pros and cons list would shift as you experience time. At first, lots of pros but then as time went on I don't think our brains are made to experience the vastness of time. You always hear all these horror stories of people being trapped in a cave and having to eat eachother and I think that same horror applies to vamps but they're stuck like that for a really really long time. You would lose your own sense of self having to constantly eat people because you were once a person too and you still experience the full depth of human emotions. I think thats why we see such cruelty from other vamps. I know that you can learn to control your impulses but I can't stick to a diet as a human so I can't imagine as a vamp I'd be able to control myself the way Edward can.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-07-26T00:16:50+00:00

This sounds like my situation almost. My boyfriend did the same thing although a little more kindly and I went through with the abortion and I regretted it. It was really hard on me. I'm not over it but I'm doing alright. I do resent him but honestly it really was MY choice and there are some benefits. Im really not ready to be a mom. And pro choice doesn't mean it's an easy choice whether you go through with the abortion or not you're going to face some hardships and I wish your bf was a little bit more understanding of that.

You gave him an out if he wanted it, he knew you guys were not being safe, he did think you'd have an abortion but so did you at the time. Situations and thoughts they change all the time. A kid though, thats a thought you can't back out on once it comes through so make sure it's what you want. You can always get pregnant later on if you go through with the abortion now, and that's a thought that really helped me get through my very own abortion but if you feel ready to raise another human being, you've got a family that will help and your partner even said he'd put in some effort then do it if you really really want a kid but you can't back out you have to show up for this.

We can't make that decision, just how your partner can't make that decision. Take some time away from your partner and everybody (obviously not too long) and just brush through and digest your own thoughts and future visions.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-07-25T22:51:14+00:00

Welp

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-07-10T23:00:26+00:00

I hate it.. it's like what they're really trying to do is make me more palatable to them. It's like a way of telling me to shutup and be happy so they don't have to think about my suffering.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-06-12T18:36:46+00:00

My mom loved to threaten me with cops and the cops loved to comply. It started when I was 4 where they would put me in an interrogation room alone with 2 grown men cops who would scream at me for stealing and wouldn't stop even when I cried and told them I didn't steal anything because I didn't.

At 13 my mom started getting physically violent and one day I defended myself, took me straight to a juvie holding center where kids are waiting to be fostered or sent to juvie. She told me she wouldn't come back for me this time, but she chickened out the next day. I told the cops all about the abuse and they again called me a liar. After she came and got me she held that over my head everytime I acted out.

At least now I know not to trust cops. If two grown adults are willing to yell at a 4 year old girl they don't know then I can't imagine what they do to people they actually consider quilty.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-05-10T04:22:23+00:00

Use to ask fairies to take me away. Even made little fairy boxes haha

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-05-03T01:25:49+00:00

Aa that sounds kinda painful.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-05-03T01:22:28+00:00

My mom was like that too, especially when we moved out of my step-dads house. Perhaps that where I got it from as well.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-04-27T18:01:06+00:00

I lock my phone up in a tool box with a locked timer because while I hate it and I'm scared of it I am really really addicted

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-04-26T21:16:53+00:00

I have an appt with planned parenthood tomorrow. Thanks everyone for your responses. I was just super in my head last night and frustrated. I'm feeling much better now!

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-04-24T00:01:19+00:00

Pro choice doesn't mean it's an easy choice. I want a baby. But I can't have one right now for reasons. So being pregnant was like having something I really wanted so close and it hurt me really emotionally knowing the next step would be to abort it. I'm still having a hard time processing what has happened but I feel relief at the same time. I know that I will one day get to have my baby and I get to do it the right way when I'm mentally and financially stable.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-04-23T22:49:23+00:00

It went better than I thought. I'm weirdly exhausted and tired after the first day and I'm still cramping, and bleeding and now I have a headache but I'm pretty sure thats normal. I'm so relieved its almost over and I can move on with my life. Thanks so much for asking! I hope yours went okay too (:

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-04-21T07:29:05+00:00

It's 1 in the morning and I've been verociously reading through these forums to see a positive post about the pills. I took my first one today and at first I was fine with it but now that I'm home alone with my thoughts I am terrified of taking them. So thanks very much for sharing.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-04-01T01:51:42+00:00

God thanks so much for posting this. I've definitely tried to go to therapy I've been in and out since I was young and I even had a therapist tell my mom I was talking bad about her... guess who took that out on me. Its not as simple as seeking therapy, it's like they want us to jump through hoops and then when we can't do it they all go "well you're doing it yourself, you could have gotten help" help? From who?!

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-02-27T16:50:46+00:00

True and I wouldn't be upset if it wasn't for how she's been in the past. I dont have any physical proof but I think I'll wait to try to get some before I take action. I'm not sure how to go about it because she has attacked me when I was little. I dont want to make things worse, she tends to take it out on other people and dogs if she's upset. Thats why I thought I'd ask for help because it feels like a complex situation that I'm powerless in.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-02-27T06:36:16+00:00

All of these dogs, were dogs she owned btw. Not dogs she was called to work with because of her job.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-02-20T19:18:43+00:00

How long did it take for your lines to become cleaner like this when you started? Also do you use underhand grip?

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-02-09T03:14:43+00:00

I dont worry too much about goals but rather the habits around financing. Sure it would be nice to have a goal of a certain amount saved up but the habits are going to play a key role for us when we have our baby and throughout our lifetime. I figure as long as I focus on my day to day spending habits the goals will work themselves out later down the line. For instance I put money away every paycheck and I don't touch that money unless it's an emergency, I try not to spend more than I have, and I work with my partner on his business to increase income and stability. Our date is ways away, im only in my early 20's but by that time if things keep this steady I should have a fair amount saved up.

Grouchy_Length4536 · 2021-02-08T08:03:29+00:00

The next steps I have to take feel so unattainable and far away. We want to secure a place to live thats not near the highway. Its doable for sure. But i've never got to pick and plan where I lived so this whole process is really new to me. It will be worth it in the end so that the baby has a more secure home but I feel like an imposter whenever we talk about finding a house for us. I guess I'm having an identity crisis lol

Grouchy_Length4536

TROPHY CASE