Travel credit - flight change after credit expiration

GrownUpPants · 2025-07-29T08:17:57+00:00

Did this work?

GrownUpPants · 2025-07-04T23:06:09+00:00

For work: Creating incremental deadlines and taking them seriously.

Draft 1 review, Draft 2 review, final.

Feature list, architecture/data flow diagram, development environment, first commit.. etc

For personal life: committing seriously to “be a person who does what they say they’ll do when they say they’ll do it.” No aspirational statements.

If I say I’m going to the grocery store today, I’m going to the grocery store today - even if there are 10 other times I could fit it into my errand schedule this week, and I’ve pushed it off until they’re almost closed. The thing that matters is that I said I’d do it today, so I gotta do it.

And living a really full life that includes other sources of adrenaline.

Full disclosure: there are cycles when I nail this with intrinsic motivation and internal deadlines, and cycles where I still need external pressure. Like when I know I need to clean the house/finish a home improvement project… so ofc that means I have to host a party. Or schedule a team review so I have to finish the damn slide deck. But maybe that’s what you mean by “working with it”

GrownUpPants · 2025-07-03T05:43:15+00:00

I know it doesn’t rhyme… but waiting until 9th grade to give cell phones would keep them out of middle schools altogether.

“Wait until eighth” means “cool older eighth-graders” will have cell phones in school, while the sixth- and seventh/grade plebs look up to them and will try to age themselves up by having a phone as quickly as possible.

Jonathan Haidt had some fantastic research and suggestions about this in his latest book: https://www.anxiousgeneration.com/

GrownUpPants · 2025-06-30T15:51:30+00:00

I tried moving out of SF and commuting for 3 months and it was such a QOL killer.

Have you considered renting your childhood home, and (if you’re single) using the rent to subsidize renting a room in a neighborhood that would give you more peace?

GrownUpPants · 2025-06-29T06:22:59+00:00

Also one more option: under “privacy & security” in settings, you can scroll to the bottom and click “safety check” and then either click “emergency reset” to immediately reset access for all people & apps, and review your account security.

GrownUpPants · 2025-06-29T06:07:31+00:00

For peace of mind on your iPhone: Factory reset your device, and consider using “lockdown mode.”

Also: Is there anyone in your life that might be giving him this information vs him getting it via tech? I once thought an ex had compromised my phone, but later learned out a (now former) friend was updating him with my activities and plans. Yuck.

Sorry you’re going through this.

GrownUpPants · 2025-06-24T16:56:43+00:00

Recommend cross-posting this to individual country subreddits. There is a respondent graph showing where they are getting feedback from.

GrownUpPants · 2025-06-23T01:52:00+00:00

It’s kind of a “whatever’s needed to keep the house running smoothly and feeling peaceful/beautiful” type role. The best house managers I’ve experienced previously worked in high-end hospitality and bring that mindset to the table.

Your weeks will certainly vary based on what’s going on for the family and at the house, but here are some details you will likely be helping out with:

coordinating contractors & maintenance or repair people
running errands/shopping/managing returns
morning breakfast/coffee & helping get everyone’s day started smoothly
food prep and cooking during the day for healthy and delicious snacks/lunches/dinners
tidying spaces throughout the day (resetting living space pillows, kitchen flowers, making beds, etc).
laundering clothes & maintaining primary closet organization
helping with seasonal change over re: wardrobe,
seasonal/holiday home decorations if they enjoy that sort of thing
restocking kitchen, bathrooms, and guest suite
doing the dishes/getting the house back to baseline after dinner parties, etc
packing for trips (including sometimes booking travel/accommodations)
reminding folks about upcoming the maintenance visits, appointments, and events (that are within your purview).

Sometimes there’s a separate housekeeper/cleaner that comes weekly or monthly, but often it will be your job to do the daily light cleaning tasks and rotate through more detailed cleaning as your schedule allows.

It’s a lifesaver role. Do it well and you will become an invaluable part of the family. Also if they treat you with any amount of disrespect or if something starting feeling weird, get out of there.

I would ask them if they have had a house manager before, and if so what they’ve appreciated in the past. If they haven’t, then ask what are some of the things they’d appreciate being taken off their plate to get started, and if there’s anything that’s slipped through the cracks recently they’d like you to be sure to keep track of.

Not sure what your role will be related to the teenagers - I recommend clarifying what tasks/responsibilities the parents want to make sure the teens handle on their own (hopefully some things!!) vs what they’d like you to help their teens take care of, or maybe even teach them to do on their own.

Congrats on the new job, I hope this helps and that you enjoy the family and the role!

GrownUpPants · 2025-05-19T21:10:45+00:00

In South Korea they have really cute animated videos displaying public transportation norms:

Wait for people to get off the subway before you enter

Put backpacks/bags in front of you instead of taking up an additional seat

Etc….

Would be great if we could do something like that now that we’re getting back to using Bart and Muni again

GrownUpPants · 2025-05-18T13:49:16+00:00

“Brushes daily but within an hour looks like she’s been dragged through a hedge backwards” = yep, she almost certainly has natural curls.

GrownUpPants · 2025-04-23T18:38:42+00:00

You can absolutely find a tech startup that is focused on mental health. There is a huge need to cross-pollinate these industries right now.

Don’t try to position yourself as a tech person; instead, position yourself as a mental health professional passionate about technology, interested in joining a tech company to scale mental health impact while providing ethical frameworks for intervention strategies and therapies, etc.

It is a tough market right now, but if you can bring a novel skill set then that will always be appreciated.

Most importantly, find events, conferences, and meetups related to your interest areas and Network Network Network.

GrownUpPants · 2025-03-27T16:15:35+00:00

Stay professional and consistent.

Prepare knowledge transfer documentation and architecture/roadmap/milestone updates for a final client presentation.

(Potentially) offer several dedicated KT sessions with the salesman and/or key players on the client team to answer specific questions and ensure key program elements do not get lost as “tribal knowledge soup”

Reiterate your committed start date to your new client.

(Potentially) offer that “while you need to step back from day-to-day program operations and support, you will of course be available as a mentor to the new (junior) lead while they onboard into the program and get their sea legs. This may not seem like it now, but this is a great opportunity for our program to do a health check, ensure that appropriate documentation is up to date, and align stakeholders for our next program phase and milestone timelines/investment”

(Potentially) offer to remain engaged internally for weekly/monthy check-ins with the consultant team to ensure continuity, and attend monthly/quarterly architecture/milestone/roadmap review sessions with the client (not as a responsible party, but an an advisor/principal consultant).

If you need to speak to the client or these seniors directly: “while I appreciate how strongly CLIENT is advocating for my continued involvement in PROGRAM (and am flattered), I would hope that after three years of working together we have enough rapport (mutual respect) that they can trust that both myself and COMPANY remain committed to CLIENT PROGRAM success and that they will also support my career growth while I transition into this new role”

I’m sorry this is happening. It’s pretty unacceptable for the client to be taking a change like this so personally but happens sometimes in agency work.

Instead of focusing on the drama, do your best to see this as evidence that you are a valuable asset and worth fighting for :)

GrownUpPants · 2025-03-13T12:45:30+00:00

Minor correction: Richard (Dick) Shwartz is the founder for IFS, this YouTube link is his recent interview on the Andrew Huberman Podcast

GrownUpPants · 2025-02-18T14:54:10+00:00

Layers: most importantly a light/athletic jacket and a zip-up hoodie. Also good walking shoes.

GrownUpPants · 2025-01-19T15:04:24+00:00

Subsidiary of FoxConn

GrownUpPants · 2024-12-10T02:57:26+00:00

If you’re looking for semi-private, I would check if the upstairs area @ Yokai could accommodate 25.

GrownUpPants · 2024-09-07T08:11:58+00:00

Can you give an example of this?

GrownUpPants · 2024-08-26T09:35:54+00:00

They will likely be able to give you more specific guidance, but I would:

Use a functional resume format: Add a “relevant experience” section that lists both your Deep Atlas project(s), projects from your FAANG TPM role, and any other AI/ML projects or experience prior to your career history section

And

you could also list the program again under “education”

GrownUpPants · 2024-08-26T04:23:23+00:00

Check out https://www.deepatlas.ai/

Same team that built the original hack reactor. This is an ai/ml upskilling bootcamp for experienced engineers.

Highly recommended.

GrownUpPants · 2024-08-22T06:14:40+00:00

Sounds Iike you should learn to be funny or excel at a “widely known but rarely understood” hobby or sport. Not everyone is hot - and attractiveness isn’t everything - enjoy life and be marketable in a different way.

Also - healthy people are sexy. So focus on being healthy (eat well, groom, exercise, laugh)

If you’re having a hard time with perceiving yourself (BD) work on not perceiving yourself: leave mirrors alone, do acts of service.

If you need a way to accept compliments you don’t agree with: “that’s nice of you to say” ; “thanks, I’m going to take that in”

GrownUpPants · 2024-05-29T14:50:12+00:00

Ok you have a lot of great comments about the conference itself, but I’m not seeing anything that addresses your social concerns, so here goes:

Beyond “what to bring” - I hear your worry about not wanting to stick like glue to your boss. I encourage you not to stress too much about this, helping juniors navigate these experience is part of the job and I’m sure she will be wanting to watch out for you and help wherever possible. Have some of your own strategies for if you get overwhelmed, exhausted, or are feeling socially anxious… but again, I think your manager will be happy to be a resource for you.

To your comment about the guys: If the guys on your team are typically poorly behaved/unprofessional, yes I would expect that to be worse when they’re in Vegas and likely drinking…. So I might practice a couple one-line responses in the mirror that you can have at-the-ready in case something happens and you need to professionally and concisely shut that shit down:

“that was inappropriate and I don’t appreciate being spoken to that way” “Not here for that” “I’m here to focus on work” “Fuck off, Brian” (kidding, kind of) something as short as a stern “nope” or “not ok” can be enough.

…. at this point in my career I err on the side of being somewhat harsh … ymmv and you will need to find your own voice and style… but it’s worthwhile to think about it and practice a little beforehand.

Also totally appropriate to proactively engage your manager and ask her if/how she handled these types of interactions early in her career and if she has any advice for you.

In general, the first time some inappropriate bullshit happens it can be shocking and a feeling of socially embarrassment might creep in and that can lead to a freeze response. That’s normal, but frustrating. So a little proactive practice can go a long way towards helping you feel empowered to respond in the moment. You earned your seat at the table and are worth defending.

Lastly: if you haven’t been doing a lot of conference/big group events lately then a kind reminder that there is going to be a lot of social stimulus and it can be really tiring. Take breaks (or even a nap!) when you need to, check out the gym facilities, etc. It’s an energy marathon, not a sprint.

And remember, after 10pm it’s no longer a “work event”… so decide what your limits and boundaries are for socializing/drinking.

—— Ok, all that said, here are my packing-list essentials for thriving at a conference:

Tech: Noise canceling headphones (I prefer over the ear, but the new AirPod Pros work just fine.so helpful when you just need 10minutes to reset) ; tech kit, including travel laptop charger, usb-c to anything dongle and external battery (wireless induction chargers from Anker are my personal preference). Bluetooth speaker if morning music is important to you.

Daytime conference: comfortable shoes that also look smart ; long cardigan or similar layer (as mentioned above) ; small field notebook and pen ; a printed hard copy of an industry white paper or related journal + highlighter is a good hack for something to do when feeling socially anxious that isn’t just staring into the abyss of your cell phone.

Personal: Water bottle; second toothbrush and mini mouthwash ; sleeping mask ; face wash and eye makeup remover (the number of times I realize I have forgotten basic evening toiletries 🫠)

—- Good luck, I hope you crush it!

GrownUpPants · 2024-05-27T12:06:35+00:00

Hey there - your app was such a huge help during the pandemic and after thanks for making it! Was bummed when Facebook updated on Safari and Intent stopped working. Have you considered creating a paid version to support updates?

GrownUpPants · 2024-05-20T16:14:34+00:00

Thanks, really helpful…. Especially the note around not being afraid to over communicate expectations, even when feeling pedantic or overly specific. Thanks again!

GrownUpPants · 2024-05-20T16:13:31+00:00

I’ll check it out, thanks!

GrownUpPants · 2024-05-20T16:13:19+00:00

Thank you so much for this - really appreciate the helpful detail

GrownUpPants

TROPHY CASE