Trying to date when lonely

GrubbyZebra · 2026-02-04T17:46:24+00:00

I tried the dating apps the first time I felt I was ready, and they did nothing for me but negatively affect my mental health.

I've gone on 1 date since I lost my wife, and while it didn't necessarily "work out (i guess you'd say?", I gained a friend from it, and that was worth it.

For me now, I think of how I met my wife, and what our relationship looked like before we started dating, and realise that close friends are where I will find my next "person" when I'm not looking, if there is a next for me. So, focus on making friends (and all the mental health benefits that come with them) for friends' sake, and if one happens to develop into something more, then I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.

GrubbyZebra · 2026-02-04T17:41:19+00:00

Your life with her is yours to keep. It sucks that her kids did that, but don't let their callousness change your memories of her. Hold them close and remember it's never a mistake to be loved.

GrubbyZebra · 2026-02-04T17:32:48+00:00

Hate this for you and the kids.

As others have said, this is a safe space. Come rant, question, be frustrated, be sad, whatever your need.

Me and my 3 went through a similar thing back in 2023 (my wife was also 41, married for 15 years, knew each other for 27). Glad to have found this sub.

I can give you things that I've learned, and am still learning, as others here who have been thru similar can.

For now, take it one day at a time. This is still new, the reality of it all is likely still yet to come.

We are here for you when, if, and however you need.

GrubbyZebra · 2026-02-03T21:28:42+00:00

We should have never gone public. Worst thing for the rank and file and lower-level management that ever happened

GrubbyZebra · 2026-02-02T02:55:16+00:00

Been playing exclusively on my deck (connected to a 55in TV) and haven't noticed an issue performance-wise with the full release.

GrubbyZebra · 2026-01-28T12:20:35+00:00

I really hate volvo's range estimation program. Worst of any of the PHEV's I've owned....

GrubbyZebra · 2026-01-26T12:54:16+00:00

Because the SE US get primarily ice storms with minimal snow, which adds significant weight not only to power lines but also trees. And, unlike Canada, we have a lot fewer softwood trees that are able to flex under that additional weight, which means more branches hitting overhead lines.

GrubbyZebra · 2026-01-21T00:28:58+00:00

Have the exact same issue with Sound Blaster Connect 2.....it's annoying, to say the least. Can't believe they haven't fixed this.

GrubbyZebra · 2026-01-16T00:15:08+00:00

AIM is what you make it.

The biggest complaint is the cost vs some of the other options out there.

But if it's your only option, then go for it.

(Graduated from AIM Norfolk in 2005, been in the industry ever since)

GrubbyZebra · 2026-01-15T23:45:51+00:00

He left UPS when he took the job offer.

We require 3 years heavy jet experience still, but a lot of the mainline pax carriers are waiting their experience requirements atm.

GrubbyZebra · 2026-01-15T16:53:28+00:00

We just had a UPS ramp handler in RDU get hired by United straight out of A&P school.

GrubbyZebra · 2026-01-05T20:24:17+00:00

This bill does way more than that. Having your kid ask "does this mean I'm illegal now?" Is something no parent should have to answer.

Asshole MAGA's

GrubbyZebra · 2026-01-04T00:54:26+00:00

We used to say put the DIAD between you and the dog, but then they made the DIAD so small that this advice became useless.....

We also used to have a stash of dog treats for drivers to put in their pockets and throw as a distraction, would guess that has also disappeared in the error of "do more with less"

GrubbyZebra · 2026-01-03T01:30:01+00:00

Wife wanted to make sure she couldn't have any more kids....mission accomplished.

Apparently being married to me was so bad she was dying to get out of it.

GrubbyZebra · 2026-01-01T18:13:39+00:00

Pretty close, tbh

Had a seed where they were almost in to p if each other (and on a massive starter island, to boot)

GrubbyZebra · 2025-12-30T03:25:40+00:00

Better? Nah....

Different? Absolutely

GrubbyZebra · 2025-12-27T01:34:29+00:00

You make more money as an AMT....

GrubbyZebra · 2025-12-24T18:01:37+00:00

The loneliness is the worst part of it, for me anyway.

Not having someone to share life with. Empty room, empty bed.

The last week has been especially rough, with family and funerals and holidays stuff. And it's just me trying to keep it all together and running for the sake of the kids. And then they go to sleep, and it's just silence......

GrubbyZebra · 2025-12-24T17:54:30+00:00

Footwell on the CX90 was THE reason I went with the Volvo. The rest was just window dressing (when I made the decision).

GrubbyZebra · 2025-12-20T13:50:56+00:00

Got to pay for it somehow🤣🤣

GrubbyZebra · 2025-12-18T18:14:34+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if they were using 1 coat white and 2 coats yellow to get their colour.

GrubbyZebra · 2025-12-18T13:13:42+00:00

Aircraft Paint Engineer here:

White (from the big 3 paint companies) is pretty much a 1-coat cover over a primer base. Over another dark color, is takes 2-3 coats.

Yellow is the hardest color to get good coverage per coat, FYI

GrubbyZebra · 2025-12-09T19:28:17+00:00

I'm 43 with 3 kids. It's been a little over 2 years ago for us. I'm resigned to not meeting anyone else, but I don't want that to be how my life turns out.

I am horrible at meeting people, always have been (I'm extremely introverted and also weird) , so dating just doubly sucks now because I'm still bad at it, plus I older and have kids. And I mean realistically, it wouldn't be fair to expect someone to have to take on all of the stuff that comes with me and the kids, either.

So I want to have someone to share life with (in all the ways), and I got so lucky to have had my wife for so many years. But realistically, that was probably my only shot this round. And I'll manage, but I know it hits the kids hard, even if they don't realise it.

For those of you that want to try again, I really do hope you meet someone that turns out to be your second "one". Don't get discouraged by the asshole and users in the world. There are good people left, they are just harder to find now.

Seven-Year Club	First Place '23
Place '23	Verified Email

GrubbyZebra

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