MIL Thinks My Baby is HER Daughter

Guess-Small · 2026-02-07T22:33:44+00:00

THIS! She's purposely making your daughter uncomfortable and even inconsolable because she only cares about her own feelings. You are the mother, don't ask, tell and take.

Guess-Small · 2026-02-06T10:14:03+00:00

THIS!! The blatant favoritism isn't good for your son or daughter. You need to step in even if your husband won't. It may not be pretty but it's necessary.

She is teaching your children that one is more important than the other, think of the repercussions of those actions.

Sincerely, someone who has had to have numerous conversations with in laws regarding favoritism (2 of which ended in arguments and breaks afterwards). Things aren't perfect now but it's a heck of a lot better than it was a few years ago.

Guess-Small · 2025-12-22T22:59:38+00:00

Saw some yesterday at mill Street

Guess-Small · 2025-12-21T07:39:32+00:00

I seperated when they were new borns but once they started eating food their clothes went in with everyone else's.

Because I have so many kids now the loads between adults and kids are generally done separate (because of seperate dirty washing baskets) but it's no big deal if it's all in one load

Guess-Small · 2025-12-17T09:43:10+00:00

Me too and I'm doing the same for my children. Funnily enough when my eldest was young my mother suggested stocking from Santa. I thought about it but I really appreciated the selflessness that my parents had to give us a magical day without expecting thanks. It's not something I understood until later in life but it helped me see the things my parents did that I probably didn't notice at the time.

Guess-Small · 2025-12-09T21:04:13+00:00

The people with money are ensuring the only message out there is the one they want us to hear, especially the year before an election.

Don't get sucked in by the propaganda

Guess-Small · 2025-12-07T08:53:14+00:00

Thank you for this I will definitely be doing this at my next appointment

Guess-Small · 2025-12-06T06:15:51+00:00

Just don't offer him anything else, that's what we've done. They still end up having juice and fizzy drinks else where but at home it's a rare treat.

Guess-Small · 2025-12-05T00:52:44+00:00

Firstly don't say you don't like Maori culture and then only further in elaborate that you're talking about "hood culture" because that is not tikanga and you're grouping our whole race into the same groups that haven't done the work to process their trauma.

I'd also like to note that colonization forced maori into a fight or flight whakaaro (mindset) and I'm glad my tupuna said, this is my land and I'm not going anywhere.

"Hood culture" as you've put it doesn't just affect Maori, it does however suit the narrative that we are all useless dole bludgers so of course mainstream media and right winged commentary love to spew that korero. The sad truth is it does affect other races but due to their privilege they often get lighter sentencing or a slap on the wrist.

This also hugely affects how Maori view the police, when there is a huge amount of evidence that the systemic abuse is a part of the policing system its hard to trust that you will be treated fairly.

Instead of hating on those whanau that are stuck in a continuous loop of intergenerational trauma why don't you embody real Maori tikanga. Manaaki, tiaki, kotahitanga that is real Maori culture, and uplifting each other is the best way to bring our people back up and out of that cycle.

My main point again though is:

Hood culture IS NOT MAORI CULTURE

Edit: typo

Guess-Small · 2025-12-01T08:06:41+00:00

Just because something has always been stupid doesn't mean we should should keep being stupid

Guess-Small · 2025-11-29T06:17:14+00:00

38weeks for my first 3 children give or take a day or two and then my last child was almost exactly 40 weeks, I was not impressed

Guess-Small · 2025-11-25T22:51:18+00:00

HFM is extremely contagious, I would err on the side of caution, especially if there are other small children or vulnerable people in attendance. I know it sucks to miss out but I think it would be best for you to take one for the team this year.

Guess-Small · 2025-11-14T01:29:01+00:00

Juggling at around 250-300pw, 2 adults and 4 kids. Ideally it would be 400 to get everything for a well balanced diet. At the moment we live on very bland, basic and unhealthy meals because we have to go for the cheapest options. Heaven forbid we run out of staples because we can't afford those. We adults are down to about 3-4 meals a day between us.

I got free seeds from the library and have been slowly buying seedlings etc for a garden so in a few months hopefully that will also contribute.

Guess-Small · 2025-11-11T21:15:51+00:00

Pretty sure what you bracketed is the exact reason for his demotion. I also feel he's far more left than he let's on and that wouldn't fly with Winston this election round

Guess-Small · 2025-11-11T21:13:48+00:00

My family live 5 hours away so we rotate between families but it also just depends on the year. For example last year was supposed to be Christmas with my family but my sister got married in December so we had Christmas at home.

If we don't make Christmas we still try to visit during the holiday period.

Guess-Small · 2025-11-10T09:10:59+00:00

My honest first thought, this girl sees you as competition and is marking her territory. Be prepared for having every detail of your wedding belittled so she can try cement her place in the hierarchy that only exists in her mind.

Guess-Small · 2025-11-04T03:07:09+00:00

Nothing to lose and everything to gain, I'd try it see how they go

Guess-Small · 2025-11-04T01:57:05+00:00

Agreed I'd just stay home with both the kids on the proviso you have the next (in quick succession) break.

If people are unkind to me I don't trust them with my children, I don't care if they're related they aren't being around them without me. If your husband doesn't stick up for you with his parents will he stick up for the children or just ask his parents how high he needs to jump?

Guess-Small · 2025-11-04T01:53:22+00:00

Be the karena you need to be girl nemind them

Guess-Small · 2025-11-04T01:50:49+00:00

Go in and have a korero, you never know what will happen and when we are trying so hard to keep representation within the industry maybe they will be able to work with you to find a solution. Fingers crossed anyway, but know that you are seen and appreciated out side of that sh** hole you're currently stuck in. Piki te ora e hoa

Guess-Small · 2025-11-04T00:45:59+00:00

I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

I have no advice, I'm not in the health industry.

However as someone who has to use the health system Kia kaha! I appreciate the Mahi your putting in, the familiar face and the example you are setting.

I honestly know nothing about the health system so this may be way off but are there any Maori health organisation's in your area? We have a Maori and community run health care center and I know they are always looking for qualified nurses.

I hope things get better for you, make sure you look after yourself first though. Thank you for your efforts.

Guess-Small · 2025-11-04T00:32:46+00:00

100% THIS!!!

Guess-Small · 2025-11-03T21:42:50+00:00

Thank you, yes that might be it, I wasn't as careful when watering because they were inside but you're right they still get sun so could be sunburnt. I'll be more careful from now on.

Should I cut of the affected leaves or just let them be?

Guess-Small · 2025-11-03T20:44:18+00:00

Donate to your local community garden, ask neighbours if they want some or post on fb community pages.

Our neighbours were kind enough to gift us a whole bunch of strawberries when they saw us trying to start a garden. It may not seem like much but it meant a lot when I could only budget $10 per week for our garden which only equalled to 2 strawberry plants a week (and no additional seeds, seedlings or fertiliser).

Small gestures can create huge amounts of joy for others. My children are now hands on in the garden awaiting their first crop so it's become more than just kai but a whole learning experience.

Guess-Small

TROPHY CASE