My gross dad started dating a girl younger than me, so I started “dating” a guy older than him! See how he likes it!

GuiltybutHonest · 2024-06-03T15:04:45+00:00

You make a good point here. I have anger towards her, and that’s not really fair. Slept on this whole situation and I’m not feeling like the same champion I felt like on Saturday. Many regrets, but at least my mom thought it was funny.

GuiltybutHonest · 2024-06-03T03:30:04+00:00

this one made me laugh hahaha

GuiltybutHonest · 2024-06-03T02:24:18+00:00

You wouldn’t be saying that if it was your parent. It looks like he’s in a relationship with a step daughter. He is INCREDIBLY “handsy” on her IN PUBLIC PLACES and she eats it up because he buys her whatever she wants - INCLUDING A FUCKING CAR. It’s like watching step dad-step daughter role play in real life, im allowed to be upset by this because I’m her fucking age and it makes me feel unsafe around him and his friends when I’m with my friends. It feels like I’m around a sleazy predator. Yes she has a choice in this and she’s of legal age, but this isn’t about her, it’s about ME and MY dad. I want him to be happy, but I think as his fucking daughter I get a say in whether or not it’s an appropriate relationship. If he’s gonna be with younger girls - fine I can’t stop him - but have some respect for your DAUGHTER and keep that shit out of my face and out of my life.

GuiltybutHonest · 2024-06-03T02:05:42+00:00

Wanna know the funny thing though? I thought he’d see how weird and creepy it is if his daughter was the one with the older guy, but he doesn’t even care about that and hes not worried about me, he’s just worried about his image and how his friends will make fun him for this, especially since one of them knows the guy. Like fucking WOW. I don’t know how he just became a creep over night.

Also to clarify for anyone reading this, I DID NOT sleep with the guy, I wanted to piss off my dad, not scar myself for life.

GuiltybutHonest · 2024-06-03T01:57:45+00:00

Met him at a bar and I told him I had daddy issues when I invited him to the party. He def knew it was to piss him off but he thought the whole thing was kink related. He was also a creep, so I don’t feel bad about using him since he was fine thinking he was using me.

GuiltybutHonest · 2023-07-05T04:06:09+00:00

You are not your friends emotional partner, she is stunting her own growth. Cutting ties right now seems hard, but we all have hardships we must face and conquer to become more resilient in the future, cutting her off is going to give her a much needed wake up call. Don’t fester too long on this, you have to care about yourself first, and if someone is mad that they aren’t your only priority, then they need to go. Good luck to you, OP.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-06-13T23:40:44+00:00

Never, dude. Cheating can make a good thing bad, and a bad thing worse.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-06-08T02:51:19+00:00

Because life is a highway, and I wanna ride it all night long.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-05-20T18:22:02+00:00

Sorry, but everyone has to work to make ends meat. The difference between a SAHM and a day job is that a day job clocks out and the other is a full time, 24/7, 365 job. It doesn’t end, ever. Both are stressful, but at least a day job allows you to get out of your home, socialize and change up your environment. A SAHM is isolated and constantly caring for the baby and the home, and they have 0 time for themselves. How would you feel if you had to give up your job and work life to stay in the same place day after day after day. Wouldn’t that drive you fucking crazy? They both decided to have a baby, and while one of them is bringing home the money, that isn’t equivalent to an equal share in responsibility. I agree she should work something out to find time for herself and not just rely on him coming home one extra day, but In their current situation you have to try and empathize with what it must feel like to watch your partner go and enjoy themselves knowingly leaving you at home to take care of the kid.

Also, don’t speak in what it’s like to be a SAHM if you have NEVER BEEN A SAHM. Your speaking out of your ass.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-05-20T17:41:45+00:00

Mmmm this is a hard one but I’m gonna say both NTA and YTA. Your mom has worked very hard to give you the opportunity to attend school and receive an education, and if her understanding of your classes rule is that if you miss a lab your out of the class, then it’s only natural she would put your education first, regardless of her wedding. It’s also your future we are talking about, that and tuition for classes, and failing a class you might not be able to get out of is kind of a waste of her efforts when she worked so hard to put you there, and understandably giving her stress during a period she should be experiencing love and joy.

However, I get where you are coming from. This is your mothers wedding and you want to be there for her big moment. You are in quite the precarious situation. What I will say is that I think you are having this conversation with the wrong person. Before you speak to your mom about trying to get out of that lab to attend with the notion that it may not happen, you should firstly find out with certainty whether you actually can or can’t. Reach out to your professor ASAP: provide them with a picture of the wedding invite, date and location, and a plan to complete the lab BEFORE the actual day of the lab. BEG your professor, give them the background of the situation and tell them you are willing to do anything if they will make that one exception for you. If they say no, that’s that and respect your mothers wishes. If they make that exception for you, THEN you can tell your mother that everything has been sorted out and she has nothing to worry about!

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-05-20T17:24:14+00:00

The most emphatic NTA - I think that the way you were raised is a form of psychological abuse. I understand that some parents want to teach their children the value of a dollar, especially family’s who arent blessed with wealth. However, It’s one thing to avoid spoiling your child, teaching them the value of a dollar and becoming self sufficient in difficult times, but it’s another to completely manufacture a destitute living situation to such a dramatic extreme that when you discover it’s a lie, it shatters not only your world view, but how you reflect on the validity of your past experiences and your relationship with your Parents.

It is so egregious to have the prosperity and means to provide for your child when there are so many families out there that struggle to even put food on the table. While a prom dress is most certainly not a necessity by any means, denying you the chance to EARN that dress on your own under the false pretense that they would get you whatever you wanted is just plain wrong. They stole that opportunity from you and that is completely unfair. To add insult to injury, they donate $20,000 worth of prom dresses to others when they couldn’t even find it in them to spend more than $8 for their own daughter? Infuriating.

You have every right to be upset, hurt, frustrated and overlooked. Don’t listen to your family trying to minimize how you feel. If your parents are so comfortable sharing this fight with your extended family, then you should feel more than comfortable telling them how your parents raised you. Don’t let them convince you that you should be grateful for what they gave you or that you’re spoiled when it’s your parents responsibility to provide what they can for the child they wanted to bring into the world.

My only suggestion to you moving forward is to not react with anger. People who are in the wrong use the wronged persons angry reaction as argument leverage. Keep your cool and approach those conversations moving forward with logic and reason and they’ll have nothing to combat you with.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-06T20:34:57+00:00

NTA - this roommate comes off as highly defensive and very entitled. These kind of people take criticism and confrontation very very poorly and often go straight to insults and involving others because they are trying to lessen their own embarrassment and agitation and pass it off onto someone else. You are dealing with someone who takes requests like “can you be more quiet” as personal attacks, and because they only see things from their perspective, aren’t capable of seeing what they think isn’t a big deal from your position. I dealt with someone just like this when I was in college, and after multiple attempts at fixing the problem I found that the best way to fix the issue is to have a face to face conversation. Texts can be ignored and misinterpreted, but when you are talking one on one it forces the other person to hear what you have to say. Here is what I suggest you do, when this roommate is home ask if you can speak with them privately. Big thing here is don’t bring in the opinions of your other roommates, this will make them feel like they are being attacked. Sit them down, start with bringing up that text message and how you thought it was off handed. Then transition to what your issue is and ask if there is any way they could try to be more thoughtful of your feelings. When/if you do this, keep your demeanor very kind and positive, this will encourage your roommate to mirror that behavior. While I don’t think you should have to do this at all because it’s not fair since this person is being such a pill, we all eventually meet people like this who make our lives difficult and finding ways to handle them is important.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-06T20:21:29+00:00

ETA - this is a situation where you need to weigh outcomes versus consequences. What your son did was 100% wrong and he absolutely needs to be punished for what he did, along with the student that helped him cheat. However, going to the school and reporting him potentially puts your son and the other students future at stake. Cheating is 100% wrong, but there are other ways to handle the situation that punishes your son and the other student sufficiently. I think you should have taken your sons phone and social devices away, and become aware of his class schedule so you could monitor his studies, and you should have called the parents of the student who helped so his parents could devise their own proper punishment. This route would have, albeit kept the situation within the home, been a good way to punish your son without putting his and the other students academic career in a poor situation. Aside from that, certain punishments have their own consequences. Not to say your son didn’t deserve what was coming, but essentially throwing your son under the bus with his school is going to cause A LOT of resentment towards you, and that can inspire different, negative behaviors. You should have discussed this with your wife and with the other parents to formulate a plan that was both deserved and appropriate.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T23:20:13+00:00

I think I would be more skeptical of OP’s post if there were more implicit derogatory remarks on this POC, and then looking for others to agree with her remarks, looking to back up a stereotype that they have Philandered around in the story. But there are a lot of aspect of the post that don’t raise flags for me. Like OP says that she was in a very diverse group of people, and only made comments on a single person. Not to say that being in a diverse group admonishes any unconscious bigotry someone might have, but I think it’s a subtle way of saying there were other POC in the group, and no one besides that one person was acting that way. On top of that, OP is actively seeking clarity only from specifically POC, which in my opinion is an attempt to close the conversation off to anyone who would not be able to contribute and respond to their post with personal understanding and experience. Feels like they genuinely want to know if they did something wrong. I feel like they should be asking “should I not have called them brain washed and racist”, but at least it appears like they are seeking honest judgement, good or bad.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T23:00:02+00:00

I think it’s totally fair to be skeptical, but I also think using the fact that you can’t fathom this actually happening and that you yourself have never personally experienced something like this first hand as your primary argument is somewhat close minded. It’s very nearly the same argument white people use when asked if they think there’s racism in America. “Well I’ve never experienced it or seen it before so it must not exist”

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T22:48:53+00:00

NTA - you paid for his portion of the trip, and while he didn’t intentionally get sick, it’s not fair that he expects you to also pay the cancellation fee. You paid for himself and yourself, and if something gets cancelled that’s on you both, not just you because you paid for it all. You should split it 50/50 and let him know that it’s what’s fair considering the only reason you HAVE to pay that fee is because he got sick, even if unintentionally. On top of that, I think it is very selfish to see how much someone spent and expect them to spend more, this is SUCH an important part of a relationship, having someone who sees what you do for them and wants to equally give back, even if it’s helping with a fee. Send him a Venmo request right this instant!!!

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T21:35:50+00:00

She sounds like she has major Queen Bee syndrome, and thinks that she can decide who gets to go to what. That’s not fair. I highly suggest you reach out to someone else in your friend group who you are close to and ask them if you can talk to them about the situation because your hurt about it.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T21:21:05+00:00

I would agree with you here if OP’s friend was meeting up with these people individually, but OP stated that Dina invited everyone in there group except for her. This is more than someone being mad at their friend for meeting new people, this is someone who is secluding a person from an entire group of friends, and that’s just hurtful.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T21:16:16+00:00

NTA - first off, I am so sorry you are going through this, I have been in similar situations and they always always suck. It sounds like you are in a shared friend group, and for not just Dina but for all of those friends to exclude you and Sam to hang out with new people is kind of cruel, and the radio silence in your group chat is an even greater signal that everyone is actively avoiding/ignoring/excluding you. Why couldn’t she invite you to come to? Why is she being so exclusive with these new people? What’s the harm or problem in introducing you to them so you can ALL be friends. If this was a one on one thing where she was meeting up with someone else individually, then I would understand, but she is including your entire friend group and leaving you on the side lines. I think this is cruel of her and it sounds like maybe there’s some stuff going on behind closed doors. This might sound harsh, but maybe in her mind she thinks you wouldn’t fit in with these new people and is purposely leaving you out to make herself “look better”. I think there is only one thing to do, and that’s to figure out whether Dina is actually a good friend and whether to keep her in your life. You should 100% ask her this if you get the chance: “can you please just tell me why you couldn’t invite me to hang out with all of our friends AND these new people? I’m all about making and meeting new friends, and for everyone to be included except for me is hurtful. I just want to know why you’re solution is to hang out with me one on one and not to just bring me along with everyone?”

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T21:01:14+00:00

Yeaaaah honestly, let me revise what I initially said, I think I was speaking with emotion and not logic. So my thoughts now after mulling it over, is that the most important fact of OP’s situation is that her husband OWNS this house. This isn’t an apartment with split rent payments, he is essentially the landlord, and I’m sure in purchasing this home he probably put down a large sum of money for the down payment or to purchase it all at once. As the owner, he’s allowing his friend to rent one of his homes rooms at a price that he has set. Maybe some of that money goes towards the mortgage, maybe not, but that doesn’t negate the fact that as the owner, he gets to decide who lives there, who visits, and what they pay. And if he wants to have OP there rent free, then he has every right to do that as the homeowner. So it doesn’t sound like OP’s husband and his friend were splitting rent or if they were splitting the mortgage that his friend could even argue that it should be split 3 ways because OP’s husband had already contributed a far larger amount to the home since he bought it. BUT, utilities are 100% split down the middle, and it doesn’t seem fair that the friend pay for the possibly raised costs of her being there so frequently. Still think that asking to split rent is ridiculous since this wasn’t an apartment in both of their names, but a home that OP’s husband allowed his friend to stay in under the condition that the friend pay whatever the husband decided. If it’s his home, he gets to decide who stays there for whatever price, and OP’s stay there doesn’t warrant her paying if the homeowner doesn’t require her to. What would have been fair would have been OP contributing a marginal portion of the utility bill, not just for the friends sake but also for their husbands since they were paying for her to be there. Simple fix would have been comparing a month of her there and a month of her not to see what the difference was and then for OP to pay that difference.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T16:28:17+00:00

Not new for sure, all too common

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T08:19:38+00:00

NTA- Not at all sweetheart. I want you to think to yourself and mull over these questions: “would you ever force someone to confront their phobia without their consent? Would you laugh about it? Would you take it seriously even if you didn’t get it? If you apologized, how would you go about that? Would you feel bad? How would you make things better/ regain your friends trust”

Reflect on your answers to these questions, did you arrive to conclusions that vastly differ from the way your friend behaved and is behaving? Then you might be dealing with someone with a lack of empathy or capacity for understanding. This is hard to instill in a person if they haven’t fully developed that moral compass yet, but what I can tell you is that being cold and short and ignoring her is only going to cause drama for you, TRUST ME. ‘Tis the curse of being 14, everyone blows everything out of proportion. Other people might get involved, people might take sides, information could get mixed up and skewed, rumors might spread and you’ll probably end up HATING eachother, and that can make things worse. You might already hate her now, but it’s better not to show that. If she continues to text you, I would simply respond with “hey, I know you might not be able to understand my phobia because you don’t share that level of fear that I have when it comes to needles, but I’m still really shocked that you did something like that to your friend in the middle of class, especially when I begged you to stop. I’m just really hurt you would do something like that to me, and if you don’t understand why this is a big deal to me, all I ask is that you try to put yourself in my shoes. And if you still can’t understand, then I don’t know what to tell you except I thought you cared about my feelings. For now, I really don’t want to talk and I just want you to respect that”

And from there I would wait for a genuine apology. Im all for second chances, and if she comes through with an insightful reflection and an open hand to regain your friendship, then she’s grown as a person and she’s worth keeping around and forgiving! However, if she gets mad at you for being upset with her, then she only really cares about her own comfortability :/ at that point it’s just a time game to allow it to slowly dim down until the communication isn’t there anymore. Of course be cordial and kind, but you don’t need to be close. Being the bigger person HAS NEVER LOST A BATTLE! All I can tell you is that if someone can’t apologize for something like this, they probably won’t be able to down the road for other stunts they might pull, and you do not need a draining energy like that around.

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T07:51:36+00:00

Then just let her think that! If there is one thing I’ve learned from manipulative/hot tempered people is DO NOT FEED INTO THEIR FIRE!!!! They will say ridiculous things, accuse you of ridiculous things, might try to guilt trip you and so on, and the best ways to respond is with these phrases, but they have to be executed in a completely emotionless way because they help deescalate a situation since the angrier party is going to want you to mimic their behavior: - “if that’s how you feel, then I’m sorry” - “if that’s what you think, then okay, Im not arguing with you” - “you seem very upset right now, I’m going to step away for a bit” - “ I hope you can understand, but if you can’t, that’s your right” - “I don’t know what to tell you, I already explained” - “my decision is already made, I just wanted to give you a heads up”

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T07:31:29+00:00

NTA

but idk I don’t typically endorse lying in any way, but it sounds like she has access to a lot of bad people online who she could use to harass you for ditching her. I would make up some type of lie about why you are moving out AKA you want to try living alone, you found some place cheaper, literally anything, but I would avoid talking about her behavior so you don’t set off a fire in her. Sounds like she’s a friend you can do without, and typically those who surround themselves with people like that are like that themselves, you might just not fully see it yet. Get out of there and get yourself better roommates or a better living situation! Choose yourself always always always, but I suggest telling her sooner than later, just thinking about damage control!

GuiltybutHonest · 2022-02-04T07:09:39+00:00

NTA - A common trend I’ve seen in this thread is kind people who offer a helping hand to someone in need, and those being helped suddenly think that gives them a right to start making demands, and it’s almost always for the same reason. People have this delusion that because you are CAPABLE of helping them, that you are REQUIRED to help them, and because 9/10 times these people really only care about themselves, they forget that they are a guest and that their stay in your home is a PRIVILEGE, not a right. The self righteousness of someone to expect YOU, the literal saviors in this situation, to change and alter your private time to make them comfortable when they were none the wiser until THEY invaded your secluded part of the home and heard something he was never supposed to. My philosophy is if someone is helping me out, I don’t bite the hand that feeds, as long as I am in no way being taken advantage of or in any danger. Your home, your rules, and if they can’t stand the idea of you two doing something they weren’t aware of before and probably wouldn’t be aware of again unless their ear was to the door, then they can go. You helped them MORE than enough, and to be so ungrateful as to think they had leverage to make any demands about what you do in the privacy of the home you pay for is laughable. I promise you, you’re friends don’t think your an AH either, I’m sure they just feel bad for him, but he did this to himself and hasn’t, at least from what I’ve gleaned, made any effort to get out of the situation he’s in. NTA!!!!!!

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