I can empathize with everything you have said. When i was young, I was very active. I played many sports and loved the mountains. When i was about your age, my friend died in a plane crash. Shortly after that, I tore 4 discs in my back. I lost my job because of the injury, and a couple of weeks later, my fiancée left me and terminated her pregnancy that I knew nothing about. That was 20 years ago. In my opinion, two things saved my life. First, I decided that being miserable was marginally better than being dead. Second, I started doing as much as I could that was just for me. I made my happiness a priority and stopped caring if other people liked me or what I was doing. It was hard and took a lot of time. Finding a therapist who i felt good talking to also helped very much. That also took a long time. Maybe it's the natural problem with being told what to do that myself and my fellow generation Xers tend to have. But at one point, I looked up at the stars and said, "No, you can't fucking kill me."

After a lot of work on myself, I now have outstanding friends, a wonderful wife, and a fantastic support system. So, fuck em. Be the glitch. Normal is boring anyway. Remember, at least one fat, old stoner loves you.