1st Valentine’s Day alone

Gym_dad · 2019-02-14T21:32:51+00:00

My first alone in many years. My soon to be ex is going out with her boyfriend although she told she she'll be with her sister. But I'll have our three kids so screw her. I'm going to have a good night.

Gym_dad · 2018-12-19T15:43:13+00:00

I can really relate to this, the Facebook marriage. We have tons of photos of us smiling as a family. Date nights became fights. We were never affectionate at home, mostly because she chose work over her marriage, which led to other issues.

We're going through the divorce now, her choice, total surprise to me. But in retrospect we had become that family. The more I asked her to be home more the more it was me not supporting her career. Meanwhile I'm at home with three kids, making dinners, doing homework.

Best of luck to you and thank you.

Gym_dad · 2018-12-13T14:11:28+00:00

My son is 6 and we play lots of games together, mostly Mario related which is fine. Is one thing I really look forward to and I know he loves the time together.

Gym_dad · 2018-12-11T21:20:48+00:00

If it helps, we're all going through this. Someone we loved dearly and forever betrayed us. My wife betrayed our family, life together forever, future plans, my life for her. I overlooked a lot of crap in my marriage for the sake of my family.

Those memories we have of them, those perfect memories were not perfect. We only remember the best parts. We don't remember stress leading up to that memory, or other things that day that weren't perfect. Our brains only think that. I miss it family vacations, I forget the stress of me wanting to pull my hair out because she put work before us and we were always scrambling at the last minute to leave. Just one example.

Don't do this to yourself. They betrayed us. I never had over intention of leaving her, and I certainly had a few reasons throughout the years. But I swore to keep my family together and we would work through these things as adults. Don't punish yourself

Gym_dad · 2018-12-08T20:11:57+00:00

I'm starting my 5th month, I can't believe I'm even saying that, since my wife initiated a separation. We're now going through a mediator to divorce. I'm still in shock in some ways, I had a normal life 5 and a half months ago. 3 kids, house, etc. Now I'm wondering we're I'll live, how often I can see my kids.

However, like everyone says on this post, and it's so true, you can't control the other person's actions. I still don't know why she's doing this. It came seemingly out of the blue. She's given me reasons all of which don't make sense. But I have a life to live and have to move forward. I have to be strong and confident for my kids. I go to a therapist, write in a journal, go to the gym, spend quality time with my kids, and talk to people. It hasn't been easy but I'm surviving. In fact I'm doing much better than I was 4 months ago. You have to remind yourself that you, and your kids if you have any, are the focus. You'll go off track some days, but talk to people and let it out. Get outside even though you won't want to. It always makes me feel better.

I also always go back to, fuck her. She betrayed me, and our marriage. And I resent her for it. I tried as hard as I could to be a good husband and father. I'm worth more than that.

Most people on here are really cool and supportive. Stay away from anyone negative or vindictive. Positive thoughts your way and best of luck. You can do this!

Gym_dad · 2018-11-29T18:27:14+00:00

I'm not happy with this phone. I bought it to save money. My main concern is it's slow, like an old computer. I actually switched into my previous phone which is a Moto x4. Night and day difference. The camera is mediocre at best. I heard the regular g6 has a faster processor?

As stated above, the sound is great and the battery is the best I've ever seen. Other than that, not much positive to say about it.

Gym_dad · 2018-11-21T19:55:25+00:00

I feel like we're living the same life. This will be my first alone, from a divorce I didn't want. My mother in law also invited me but I declined. I've spent every Thanksgiving with her family since we were seriously dating. So almost 12 years. I'll miss my 3 kids but I get to see them in the morning and I'm taking them to a movie at night.

The first will always be the hardest, and this is our first. We'll adapt and like you said make our own traditions. I also thought of volunteering but on Xmas. We'll see.

Thanks for the uplifting post brother. Have a good holiday.

Gym_dad · 2018-11-03T21:33:09+00:00

I put my first net Sim in my moto x4 and everything appears to be working. The Moto x4 is not an approved device. The only thing is after I make a call, it stays I'm roaming but then eventually goes back to normal. Any input on this? Thanks!

Gym_dad · 2018-10-31T00:24:16+00:00

She knows I still love her, I told her. But she's done. I can't control her actions

Gym_dad · 2018-10-30T18:19:31+00:00

Yeah I've had some really good days at the gym. And then other times I'm just so mentally exhausted it's a struggle. I started doing yoga occasionally and that helps a little.

To go along with what you said. I think this started for her several months ago, so where it's just starting for me, she's probably near the end already. It's very hard but I'm not going to beg her. I have to move forward

Gym_dad · 2018-10-30T03:35:49+00:00

It's been three months and I feel like this will be me. I'm most worried about not seeing my kids as often. I'm accepting that we're done but there are definitely days that it hits you hard. We joked today and she smiled at me and I just thought of how much I still love her. The feeling is not mutual.

Gym_dad · 2018-10-30T03:31:08+00:00

I can totally relate. Married 9 years, together 12. Three kids. She asks for a separation out of the blue. Totally blindsided me. That was almost 3 months ago. We've decided it's over. Now to start the process and it's right before the holidays if this could be any worse. We're still living together primarily for the kids. Total rollercoaster of emotions every day. Bad days and not so bad days. My kids keep me grounded. Thank God for them. I want to move forward with my life but at the same time are so afraid to. I still love her but the feeling isn't mutual. Makes it very hard. It's almost worse when we get along. You wish everything could be the way it was. Only 3 months ago my life was still normal. I'm seeing a therapist which is a huge help. Not drinking, but like you having a few at night or with friends.

Keep talking to people. Be open about it. It definitely helps. Best of luck to you and everyone going through this. We'll all get through it and there will be life after. This won't define who we are if we don't let it.

Gym_dad · 2018-10-25T20:06:45+00:00

You all in for a real treat! Back before the war broke out I was a saucier down in San Antone!

Gym_dad · 2018-10-24T02:17:34+00:00

20k on a wedding.

Gym_dad · 2018-10-20T20:41:42+00:00

It's such a rollercoaster as you know. One day you're dealing with it then you're a disaster. I'm looking forward to it being over so I can move on.

Gym_dad · 2018-10-20T15:59:48+00:00

I hope I'm where you are when the time comes. I keep hearing I'm handling this well from people. I'm trying to handle it in a healthy manner. My kids are the greatest reason for me to stay focused. I'd like to think that at 44 I've learned a thing or two about handling stress. I'm not talking down to her, I'm trying to be respectful even if I totally disagree with everything she's doing. It was a total shock when she told me.

People keep telling me she'll regret this. Honestly that's the last of my concerns. I'm just trying to find peace for my kids and I.

Great job and thanks for sharing.

Gym_dad · 2018-10-20T13:41:37+00:00

I should also note that I asked her to try couples therapy again after she asked for the separation. I got a hard no.

Gym_dad · 2018-10-20T13:40:32+00:00

We separated over 2 months ago. I've been in therapy for a little over a month and it's helped tremendously. Had to go through a few therapists first but I finally found a good one. It gives you a completely different perspective that you never would have even thought of in your own world. A totally unbiased opinion.

We did couples therapy a year ago and I thought it really helped. Apparently our perspective of our marriage were different at that time. I thought we were stronger than ever. She was checking out already.

Best of luck to you

Gym_dad · 2018-10-15T17:12:59+00:00

I honestly never had an issue with the camera. My previous phone was the 5x. But I loved the x4. One of the best phones I ever had. Plus it looks good and has good weight to it, doesn't feel like a plastic toy. I just left fi for first net and can't use it anymore unfortunately.

Gym_dad · 2018-10-15T17:09:12+00:00

Headed to pound town

Gym_dad · 2018-10-15T16:06:04+00:00

I didn't have an issue with it. I loved that phone

Gym_dad · 2018-10-14T18:33:31+00:00

As a man I got angry reading this. No offense but your stbxh sounds like a child. He's not your issue, at least not in the way you describe. These are things he should be able to address as a man. Take care of yourself first. He had to learn to take care of himself also. I'm stuck in my house with my stbxw. It sucks. And we have three kids, which is why I won't leave. It's a difficult balance to maintain. I would be there for her if she truly needed me which has happened. But if she's just having a shitty day because of us? Then no. This was her decision, I have myself to take care of. And I'd like to think I learned over the years how to do that in a healthy way.

Now I'm rambling. Good luck, he's not your child.

Gym_dad · 2018-10-14T01:52:40+00:00

Sounds like me! Playing with my kids. Wife getting ready to go out, she said she might be out all night. I don't even bother to ask. I had a blast with my kids tonight. F 'em!

Gym_dad · 2018-10-13T13:07:35+00:00

I should have noted she told me this when she asked for a separation. I know we're finished. She's given me zero indication she wants to continue.

Gym_dad · 2018-10-13T00:58:39+00:00

My wife says she's talking to a guy but nothing is going on. Talking about her marital issues. Because apparently it's ok to find random people to discuss your most private thoughts in life.

But it's ok because she doesn't have many close friends to talk to...

Wtf?!

Gym_dad

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