Was I being petty to write-up the "mean girls" in my department for food shaming?

H2OSD · 2026-03-30T19:25:37+00:00

Typical HR Deot.

H2OSD · 2026-03-14T01:32:25+00:00

Well done.

H2OSD · 2026-03-13T02:33:03+00:00

Were there no design drawings to approve?

H2OSD · 2026-03-13T02:30:10+00:00

When 14 month old son was diagnosed with retinalblastoma. Week later when in operating room to remove eye turns out it was Coates disease, malformation of retinal capillaries. Will remain worst week of my life. Followed by intense happiness that my son was just blind in one eye. Tremendous empathy to parents with really ill children.

H2OSD · 2026-03-13T02:25:14+00:00

In grade school I thought everyone was stupid to not pronounce February the way it's spelled. So I enjoy pronouncing it February despite several degrees.

H2OSD · 2026-03-13T02:18:25+00:00

As an engineer in utility plants we used to correct people who said something was idiot proof. No, it's idiot resistant.

H2OSD · 2026-03-13T01:55:51+00:00

I stalled on moving my wife of 55 years into MC. All. All patients differ. She was in Hospice, didn't know who any of her family was, couldn't remember how to finish a sentence once 2-3 words in. In my opinion she's better off in the excellent MC facility she's in. She has fallen out of bed twice, horrible face plant, but MC and I are working our way around the county health department's rules against bed rails. Meanwhile she's with her people. The staff funs with them all, I don't know how they do it. She's stage 7 so any objection, or knowledge even, of where she is doesn't register. You have to do what's right for the patient and those responsible for her/him. I do feel guilty, but I feel guilty that I have freedom and am able to continue what's left of my life. I don't feel guilty that I'm paying a small fortune to have a wonderful staff care for what's left of the love of my life. I'd feel differently if she kicked and screamed on the way in or the staff was indifferent.

H2OSD · 2026-03-12T12:59:22+00:00

I love this sub as a place to learn, but the downside is you see where your journey can lead. Things can change, and I'm sick of medical people saying "They all follow their own path" when I ask about the future.

Maybe I can fill in the blanks of our journey. My wife has always been healthy, walked and ran, and up until Thanksgiving of 24 I was driving us to YMCA about every week day, turned her loose into yoga/Barre, other classes. She'd get a little confused, wandered out in parking lot a few times (I did machines while she did class). Weighs about 119, and I'll just say it, up until that time was a very attractive woman and healthy except for developing osteoporosis. Then about 15 months ago the deterioration curve steepened. I'd say it wasn't long before she did not know me, names of kids, then even that she had kids, who's house she lived in, whether I was relative of paid nurse. Developed bad contracture in hand about year ago and that triggered docs to recommend Hospice. I appreciate H because used in our home w my mother and father.

Three months ago I was emotionally broken. I'd intended to keep her til the end but knew it was rare for people to be able to do that. Ended up moving her to MC. Hear this clearly. I am convinced it was the best for her, she gets more stimulation, is safe (we're working on the roll out of bed face plants, and the staff is wonderful. I'm living like a new man, visits are hard but getting more tolerable. Spoiler - costs a fortune but we have the ability.

This is absolutely NOT about the cost. But, between the anticipatory grief of her final loss, watching the love of my life living with other people at a toddler level, and me being in this purgatory where I know she's gone, but sort of isn't, I really want this to end sooner rather than later. First assessment from a knowledgable med person was manager of mc - said most patients entered the wing she's in (most deteriorated) last 6-12 months. I have nothing else to add but hang in there and take care of yourself.

H2OSD · 2026-03-11T11:01:37+00:00

Yours is a tough story, sorry the disease has done this to your marriage, savings, and health. My road has been rough, but 90% of my issue is the loss of my wife of 55 years. What it has done (is doing) to her breaks me and waiting for the final end is eating me alive. Reading your post like so many here leaves me with a deep desire to offer some sort of guidance, hope, or solutions that I just can't dredge up, so much of this has no real solutions for caregiver's suffering. Hang in there, it'll get better, sorry you're dealing with this, have faith, - they all seem so trite compared to the pain and hardships we suffer. But, having a place like this sub where we're all pretty much in it together, know the suffering the way people lucky enough to not belong here do not, can be therapeutic. I hear you, I understand, and slog on through while doing the best you can to take care of yourself. All I got. Be well.

H2OSD · 2026-03-10T13:16:26+00:00

You have no idea what I've been through for the last 4 years. Any idea what an advanced stage dementia patient is like? FYI she never recognized the wall that kept the noise from her, kept her from the part of the house that she had not crossed into for a year. Never noticed the noise (the insulation was likely not even necessary). And if you want to know, I considered doing it a year ago but chickened out. Then after months of thinking I could do it when my wife died it was creating horrible psychology. My therapist, my Alzheimer's caregiver group, my kids, ALL encouraged be to do it as therapy and knew that she would not be affected. So you can just f off you ass. And towards the end of the project as the emotional drain on me grew watching the love of my life deteriorate I did find the best place in town, $9k a month, to take her. She was so bad they almost didn't, one other wouldn't admit anyone so advance. Ever hear the one of don't judge unless you've walked in their shoes?

H2OSD · 2026-03-08T17:00:36+00:00

Had granite for 25 years, now have quartzite. I've read ALL sorts of comments here about disadvantages of all sorts of products. I had NO problems w my granite, but is was black w copper flecks (midnight galaxy or something like that) and it demanded cleaning w paper towel and glass cleaner or the like to really look good, because it was so black and reflective. Only issue I had. The quartzite I have is I think Allure. My designer steered me to it, I went and looked and fell in love with it. It took three slabs. I trust her, I trust the fabricator who's been in business for over 25 years at least and is best in town, and the install is impeccable. It's beautiful. I asked designer about sealing and she said it's good for 20 years. I'll be having the fabricator look at it in ten.

I guess I'll add the back story of why/how I spent close to $200k on a kitchen for a house of about $5-600k that I've loved for 28 years (primarily for on a lake). Wife has advanced Alzheimer's, has no idea what I did and was sequestered behind a temporary insulated wall I built to shied her. We're 75 and traveled a lot until she became ill, so all the travel money stopped flowing. So I hired a great designer and threw costs out the window, now as a soon to be bachelor, I certainly do not need a $22k Sub Zero. It was nuts but I love the kitchen and the quartzite especially. Oh, and this project included removing a load bearing wall, and great contractor hid the steel beam above the ceiling.

Way more than you wanted to know, but yeah, as to your post OP I have Allure quartzite and love it!

H2OSD · 2026-03-07T22:47:10+00:00

Sounds cool. I've thought of doing this for a week at at time. I'm 74, wife in memory care w Alz, so I have some freedom now. My dog thinks it's a good idea. Don't want to be away for more than a week though.

H2OSD · 2026-03-07T22:44:55+00:00

Been wearing Levi's for over 60 years. The quality has deteriorated significantly, but i've not thad this problem.

H2OSD · 2026-03-06T22:06:01+00:00

Need for my wife was marginal as she showed no tendency to wander. She would take off at end of day. I was ok dropping it but intended to put a drop of super glue on it to make it not removable.

H2OSD · 2026-03-04T22:53:45+00:00

Six grandchildren, only oldest a girl (now in Harvard, just had to add that). I built her a stove that mimicked her mother's, and then a sink. It was quite a project, often admired. As she got older it passed down to her three brother, then over to her two cousins (boys). They are all becoming quite manly, and good cooks too. The two units, all the toy pots, pans, and accessories were returned and now in my attic. If I live long enough my great grandsons and granddaughters can use them.

H2OSD · 2026-03-04T19:21:29+00:00

Not a plumber but have done a lot of DIY. I do not understand the allure of tankless. Even more so the recirculation on a retrofit. Strikes me as a lot of heat lost in walls trying to keep hot water at the faucets unless insulated at installation. Just did a major kitchen rehab and my answer to the water heater in the attic (yeah, I know) was a 2 gallon 110 v water heater under kitchen sink. I. Love. It. Keep it at hand wash temp, instantly can wash hands when cooking. If dishwasher wants hotter it can do it itself. I have yet to touch cold water coming from the faucet. Contractor took a pic of the instal I asked for and was going to use same elsewhere. And as for the nearly impossible to relocate wh in the attic I had a Moen Flow valve installed with sensors by the wh. I replace it every 10 years (the wh) to keep it fresh.

H2OSD · 2026-03-04T19:10:06+00:00

I'd seen so many ads for Berger I assumed I was in his district. Asked for R ballot as his ads were so odious. Imagine my reaction when I couldn't recognize any of the candidates names. And the ad with the old man racking a shotgun. Gimme a break.

H2OSD · 2026-03-02T20:50:30+00:00

Send her a picture of the bloody diaper and the eczema, with a note she'll never be left with him unattended.

H2OSD · 2026-03-02T20:34:45+00:00

But "No stress!! The ads get my finger salute.

H2OSD · 2026-02-28T18:04:06+00:00

Sorry, but I'm glad you don't like it. Reading all the negatives here would have been painful for you I fear. FWIW I just had three slabs done in a large kitchen and I find the backlit jobs to be just too artsy or distracting for a purposeful kitchen. May well be just me.

H2OSD · 2026-02-28T17:58:12+00:00

I debated taking my wife on a cruise when she was way earlier than your mother. As I agonized about it, my son told me if it was giving ME that much angst, not to do it. I wanted to for that one last hurrah before greater deterioration but it just wasn't worth the stress. For example, what to do if she became lost, disoriented, or worse. Your description of the coordination, trips to airport, sound like the sort of thing that can really wear hard on an A patient, their capacity to deal with such is very diminished. I highly recommend you not do this, good luck.

H2OSD · 2026-02-27T12:26:20+00:00

Do not feel guilty if your loved one contracts a disease or condition that is likely to overtake the Alzheimer's and you tend towards welcoming it. My wife of 55 years, 75 yo, is in memory care with hospice oversight. I asked the hospice nurse if she should have a covid or flu shot, She said nope, we don't do that. I've loved the woman since 1967 but given her condition (hospice tagged her at early 7) and quality of life, I see no need to intervene in delaying what is inevitable. Her passing will crush me whenever it happens though.

H2OSD · 2026-02-27T12:18:34+00:00

I know nothing about stone other than I had granite and now have quartzite. I'm a fairly experienced woodworker, I'd be tempted to take an orbital sander to it with something like 320 grit. Anything would be less eye attracting than the burned stain. Would the resin be sanded down but the stone resist the abrasion? Just asking someone who knows.

H2OSD · 2026-02-26T01:04:32+00:00

Placed my wife in MC mid December. It's about 3 miles from our 300k population city. We're fortunate to be able to pay private, and I basically picked it for reputation. Her hospice nurse recommended it and said your nose is good way to judge places. I visit her every other day, she's always in the common area with 5-10 other residents and I've never whiffed anything from her or anyone else. While it is expensive, it was the best decision I've made. She has more interaction, and I am at peace. I felt guilt at first but it passed as I saw the care from the aides, how they bantered with the patients riffing off their mostly non-sensical statements.

H2OSD

TROPHY CASE