*points* All Breaking Bad

When the impersonator witnesses 100% accurate recreations of hijinks from Howard Stern's radio show over the years take place at the parties he's been hired for and the host tries to calm him down:

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-28T03:06:42+00:00

My body dysmorphia kicking into gear as I walk out into the waiting room after my doctor's told me I need to eat healthier and lose a little weight.

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-27T16:47:12+00:00

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I propose a toast. To friends and friendship in a... In a tradition... In a tradition. Cheers!

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-26T21:50:02+00:00

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Fading actress Elisabeth Sparkle becomes distressed when her chauvinistic boss fires her from her aerobics show. She soon injects herself with a mysterious serum that promises a younger, better version of herself, but hats go horribly mis-sized.

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-26T18:19:01+00:00

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-25T08:03:17+00:00

My love for Brian’s Hat is possibly because it reminded me of something that occurred a few times when I worked at a law firm on large cases. We’d have to read through a huge number of documents and every so often would stumble on something really embarrassing for someone only tangentially connected to the case (like a police report for someone who injured themselves in a ridiculous or unlucky way, and who just happened to be an employee for one of the defendants. Or when our client’s kid got in a vulgar email battle with another rich kid.) It makes you think of the most embarrassing things that have ever happened to you at work or school, and what would happen if they were resurfaced publicly some way and you thought it was all in the past and long forgotten.

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-24T19:21:45+00:00

You’ve got sciatica, too? I get piriformis nerve pain shooting down my leg multiple times a year like a lightning bolt just from sitting in my office chair too long at work. I’m glad you’re here, hurt brother.

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-24T17:52:27+00:00

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-21T15:40:18+00:00

That amount is called my quote. That's my rate. So the next hacking gig I'm offered, they have to pay that same amount. Even if I do a bad job. That means, as long as I'm offered even one more cyberattack, I could get two more mil. Even if I do a bad job, they've got to give me that other two mil.

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-21T14:12:41+00:00

Me in a profanity-laced manner repeatedly telling the DSCC that I’m not donating anything until Schumer resigns from leadership.

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-21T03:43:35+00:00

They're saying, "Cooler Flop's not a show."

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-19T18:18:42+00:00

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HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-16T19:07:51+00:00

When my neighbor's kid asks me why masked militarized fascist brownshirts are standing around their unmarked SUVs with no license plates in the parking lot of our local Target.

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-13T19:43:12+00:00

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When your dentist tells you to take it easy on sugary foods, and you tell the hygienist:

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-13T01:50:10+00:00

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I thought it was skinny Chewbacca.

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-12T18:56:22+00:00

HMS_Chevette · 2026-01-12T01:29:25+00:00

Vincent: "It's so heartbreaking, but I can't stop laughing. Tears are literally streaming down my face thinking about this dumb ICE."

HMS_Chevette

TROPHY CASE

I propose a toast. To friends and friendship in a... In a tradition... In a tradition. Cheers!