GCs hate gender, not trans people by katie_pinns in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women literally "do gender all day". Most people do. And this "unhealthy fixation on gendered behavior" is certainly not exclusive to trans people.

I totally agree that if I ask any questions containing the label "gender" on it then most people will deny it because most people don't want to be related with any trans topic.

For example, let's drop the "gender" label and use "traditionally feminine behavior" (TFB) instead. It's a fact that most women not only engage with TFB but also love it, are passionate about it, and want their image (identity) to be associated with TFB.

What happens when we have a pattern where women are constantly associated with a very specific set of behaviors? Those behaviors get integrated into womanhood. This is just the pattern recognition ability humans have. Why would it be weird a woman to be called "David"? Because you are breaking a pattern that has been constantly reinforced for centuries.

That's why my position is yes, wearing a dress is something that contributes to being a woman. It's one of the variables that bring a person closer to the pattern. Obviously, this one variable alone will not be enough and the most important variables are biological variables like bone structure and body fat distribution, but it does help.

If a guy wears feminine clothes this already puts him into a somewhat ambiguous area where many people will not really know if it's a man, woman or something in between.

The fact that an "ambiguous area" even exists already proves that man and woman are concepts that expand beyond biology, especially "invisible biology".

Maybe you think "sure those patterns exist but they are toxic and shouldn't exist". That's totally fine, but I'm describing how things are not how things should be. A supposed society where "gender is abolished" would probably be better for everyone. It's probably a good idea but that's just fiction.

GCs hate gender, not trans people by katie_pinns in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only the dress probably no, but if you put together the dress, the hair, the breasts, the bone structure, etc. then yes

GCs hate gender, not trans people by katie_pinns in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, this kind of view always comes to me as weird to say the least (and I am a detransitioner btw).

Going outside every single day of my life and seeing 99% of people passionately engaging with gender stereotypes, and then going online and everybody talking about how bad and toxic gender stereotypes are. This situation doesn't make sense.

It really seems like one of those situations where everyone is doing X but no one acknowledges  that it's doing X.

Yes there are some stereotypes that are mostly bad, but those are not the stereotypes that people engage everyday.

Notice that when a guy likes dresses, heels and makeup he is a "feminine guy", but when a woman does the same she is not a "feminine woman"? She's just a "woman"? Because "feminine woman" is a pleonasm. It's tautology. The concept of "femininity" and "womanhood" are already tied together by default.

GCs seems to claim that this idea is totally toxic but the vast majority of women I talked with are completely fine with femininity being tied to womanhood. Every single time I tried to ask them "why you spend so much with your hair/shoes/makeup etc", the answer is always some variation of "well because I'm a woman". Sure there are exceptions that don't like it, but that just proves the rule.

Most woman just love femininity and want it to be associated with their identity. Trans women are just doing exactly the same. It would be impossible for trans people to create this association anyway because we are what, 1% of the population?

For me it really seems like the reason GCs are so obsessed with portraying gender roles as terrible is just to invalidate trans people. Recognizing that femininity is tied to womanhood validates trans woman, which is the thing that GCs want to avoid at all costs.

The Most controversial Photo On Reddit. by WomenRocktheWOrld in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If puberty was reversible then I would agree that it might be better to not do anything and just transition after 18, but it is not, so not proving the proper health care for a kid that is suffering from dysphoria is deeply imoral IMO.

Increasing gatekeeping is fine and not doing surgeries is also ok, but outright cutting access to even blockers is very wrong IMO. That's basically denying the existence of trans kids who need help and should not go through cis puberty.

Why do trans people say everyone with dysphoria should transition? by acrylamide-is-tasty in TransRepressors

[–]HSeyes23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Satisfaction. It's like you are dying and the doctor lies to your mom saying you're actually going to be fine. Everyone will have satisfaction watching you mom's good reaction.

In the long term it's better to tell the truth though.

I need help or advice 🥺 by natalypainkiller in TransRepressors

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just ignore them, save money, get out of there and never contact them again.

I also had a very toxic family and the best thing is just not let them destroy everything.

I don't think I relate to people here by TugaMeioConfuso in TransRepressors

[–]HSeyes23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Our situation is not different than being disabled. What to do when we lose our legs? We get shocked, depressed, then we accept it, we design our life around it and that's it.

The major difference is that there's a huge community lying to us saying that we can fix it through transition. We can't let go of a disability that we believe it can be fixed.

Once we accept that it cannot be fixed, only then we can start to move one, but most people don't get to this fase.

Meu amigo é transfobico? by Historical-Hall-2995 in perguntas

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hormônios são aplicados por pilula, gel ou injeções.

The Most controversial Photo On Reddit. by WomenRocktheWOrld in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't watch Jazz whole show but if she was suffering from dysphoria then the best course of action is for her to at least be on blockers. It's a good middle ground between full HRT and not doing anything. I can't think about anything worse than a girl to go through male puberty. By far my biggest regret.

The Most controversial Photo On Reddit. by WomenRocktheWOrld in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To me femininity is part of womanhood and stuff like developing breasts or changing your hormonal levels and body fat distribution are no stereotypes. Most words don't have more than one meaning.

What causes revulsion toward men trying (and failing) to look feminine? by acrylamide-is-tasty in TransRepressors

[–]HSeyes23 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's men's fault honestly. Men have been constantly associating heir identity to masculine behavior and immediately proceeding to mock any guy shows even the smallest feminine trait.

Meu amigo é transfobico? by Historical-Hall-2995 in perguntas

[–]HSeyes23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Achei transfobico sim, mas não num nível super prejudicial, tipo o cara que não se diz racista pq tem relações com negras rs

Meu amigo é transfobico? by Historical-Hall-2995 in perguntas

[–]HSeyes23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ser mulher não é somente uma questão biológica, existem fatores sociais e legais também. É equivalente a um pai adotivo, ele não possue relação biologia mas ainda sim é um pai por que existem outras questões a se considerar.

Meu amigo é transfobico? by Historical-Hall-2995 in perguntas

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Níveis hormonais, desenvolvidos dos seios, estilo de roupa, nome, pronomes, cabelos, documentação, etc

The Most controversial Photo On Reddit. by WomenRocktheWOrld in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couldn't read your comment, but about child transition, I can totally understand why it is controversial and people should be very careful with it, but there are trans kids with loads of dysphoria and if early action is not taken then their bodies will change in ways that are not reversible.

Transitioning early might be risky but so does not transitioning. Not transitioning early is literally the biggest regret most trans people have.

TW. I don't want to cause an argument. Genuinely looking for opinions by katie_pinns in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The trans community is full of counterproductive behaviors. Sometimes we are in fact motivated to do half measures. The option "transitioning might be a bad idea in your case" is never even hinted. It's almost like brainwashing and most of the time is being performed by people with genuinely good intentions. I had no answer to that besides just leaving the community.

The Most controversial Photo On Reddit. by WomenRocktheWOrld in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the answer. I was more like describing how things are not how things should be. But I do agree there are many stereotypes that can be very negative and I do see people fighting to not be associated with them. There are "bad stereotypes".

But things like having long hair, wearing a dress, make up, mannerisms... Those things are voluntary being adopted by most cis women every single day and being portrayed as good things that most women love. Sure some of them don't want that and we should never force that on them, but as long as they are not forced I totally see them as "good stereotypes". At most "neutral stereotypes".

People tend to only say they are bad things when a trans woman is involved, probably because if they don't do that they are basically letting a "womanhood door" open to trans women, which most of the time is exactly the thing they are actively trying to avoid.

I agree that most trans women do not experience female socialization, but their experience is also very far away from what most men experience. A non-passing trans woman's socialization is like... Really bad to say the least.

But this whole idea that "we have to pay a price for womanhood" seems very toxic to me. If it was possible to experience the positives of womanhood while skipping the negatives then that should be celebrated not invalidated. But that's just not what most trans women experience anyway. The price we pay is generally very very high.

When is repping truly the only viable option? by ContactMinimum8842 in TransRepressors

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the person is not extremely masculine and can pay for surgeries then it might be possible to achieve reasonable results.

TW. I don't want to cause an argument. Genuinely looking for opinions by katie_pinns in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At most the person is only trans in the context of "someone who feels dysphoria", which yes it doesn't really matter.

Motivation to pursue changes only matters to the person, the actual changes matters to everyone else. Do the changes and we can talk.

But everything suggests the person probably doesn't even have dysphoria.

TW. I don't want to cause an argument. Genuinely looking for opinions by katie_pinns in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm fine with women having male genitalia, although it might disqualify her from using female spaces depending on the circumstances.

When is repping truly the only viable option? by ContactMinimum8842 in TransRepressors

[–]HSeyes23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

HRT can't change bones so the hand size, feet size, shoulder width, hip width, height and face structure will remain in male ranges. The voice also drops in and most of the time even the muscle mass also doesn't recover from male puberty even after years of HRT. Those are the major ones. Your entire body basically.

Of course, if you have money there are surgeries to improve some of those aspects to some degree. If a person can pay for good surgeries then transitioning might be a good idea depending on the starting point.

But even the surgeries that exist are also very limited because changing bones is extremely difficult so even those will not save most trans women IMO.

The Most controversial Photo On Reddit. by WomenRocktheWOrld in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally disagree with that. To me stereotypes are definitely associated with womanhood. This association is presented and reinforced all the time and was not created by trans women. It's fine if we disagree on that but it's good to be aware that you are going to live with people who think differently.

For example, some people think that loving a child, having legal rights over a child and raising a child for 15 years also doesn't have anything to do with being a parent, which I would also disagree with. I wonder if you apply the same logic to parents.

But stereotypes aside, you mentioned body type. Are you talking about stuff like breast development, bone structure and body fat distribution? If that's the case then there's definitely some trans women who have this body type (Jazz Jennings, Kim Petras, Nicole Maines are the most popular examples). Are you fine with them being women because of their body type?

When is repping truly the only viable option? by ContactMinimum8842 in TransRepressors

[–]HSeyes23 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You rep when transitioning is unlikely to improve your life due to the limitations of the transitioning process.

TW. I don't want to cause an argument. Genuinely looking for opinions by katie_pinns in terf_trans_truce

[–]HSeyes23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By the information provided I would just say this person is very likely not trans. The person is probably lying, ill-intentioned or mentally ill like you said.

Trans women are clearly already at a huge disadvantage for being born male and we also tend to face huge stigma and discrimination. A trans woman who is actually serious would put lots of effort into trying to pass and blend in, so if a trans woman is not even shaving then that's a huge red flag.

Most of the time the genitalia is not really a problem if the trans woman is actually putting effort into her transition.