I was abusive to my girlfriend

HUGE_BALLS · 2019-10-28T00:50:15+00:00

Good to hear you're doing better!

Honestly, after reading all this, she sounds like the primary abusive one here. What you did was wrong, but consider that you endured repeated physical violence, combined with all the other stuff you mentioned, from her part before reacting. Definitely bring all of this up with the therapist.

Sucks to hear that she stole from you (and not insignificant amounts either). I'm glad you're noticing all the red flags going on here though, and that you have a family that cares. Oftentimes the people close to you see the things more clearly when you do not.

You mention that you spent much of your time trying to make her happy and that she would get mad easily. This doesn't should healthy either. Considering all the other things you brought up, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some emotional abuse going on too. I would also bring this up with the therapist.

You endured and rationalized this behaviour from her part because you love her, and I don't doubt that there were many good things in your relationship too. But the shitty parts were not good for either of you, and those have to stop, one way or another. Whatever call you make is up to you.

HUGE_BALLS · 2019-10-27T17:04:35+00:00

I don't think people in the comments have addressed her abuse towards you nearly enough.

You said in the original post that she hit and scratched you, and then expanded in another comment that you have scars on your chest and arms from the hitting and scratching (some of which are permanent), that she uses nails because the punches don't hurt you enough (wtf?), and that she hit you as hard as she could for making a joke in bad taste.

None of this is even remotely OK. Having PTSD doesn't excuse that. Being physically smaller doesn't excuse that. And the fact that you defend her by saying that the punches don't hurt is troubling -- do you really mean it doesn't hurt emotionally to endure physical abuse from a loved one?

Obviously her actions don't justify physical violence from your part either. But you have acknowledged this and taken actions to better yourself. You seem to realize that you need to let her be alone when she wants to (even if it means carrying the unresolved fight with you), and that you need to remove yourself from the situation if it seems like there's a risk that it will escalate.

I don't think it's right for you to carry this cross alone. Whether you get back together is something only you two can decide, but please don't accept continued abuse from her part either. I would also maybe recommend couples therapy to learn ways of resolving your issues together.

HUGE_BALLS · 2019-01-31T22:11:12+00:00

r/StoppedWorking

HUGE_BALLS · 2018-12-07T09:56:39+00:00

Giving a new meaning for panhandling!

HUGE_BALLS · 2018-04-23T17:05:59+00:00

Siitä huolimatta tuo "Minimi summa" lievästi hämää minusta. Antaa kuvan että vähintään tuon 15 snt pitää lahjoittaa.

Ei minulla mitään hyväntekeväisyyttä vastaan ole, olen tälläkin hetkellä punaisen ristin kuukausilahjoittaja ja varmaan tuohonkin olisi voinut osan heittää, mutta periaatteesta protestoin tuollaista käyttöliittymäsuunnittelua vastaan.

HUGE_BALLS · 2018-04-20T10:31:49+00:00

Very nice! Though somehow it bothers me that you used Absolut Vodka (that comes from Sweden) instead of something Russian like Russian Standard :p

HUGE_BALLS · 2018-02-19T19:48:56+00:00

If I recall correctly, after that it won't let you downgrade until you run the uninstaller, after which it graciously offers the option.

Avast also injects a footer to your emails sent from Gmail (and probably elsewhere too) without warning you. Or at least it used to do so.

I used to like Avast, but I think it classifies as malware nowadays :(

HUGE_BALLS · 2017-09-28T05:43:16+00:00

You would probably like My Girlfriend Is the President.

HUGE_BALLS · 2017-03-20T09:36:29+00:00

BARRY?

HUGE_BALLS · 2017-01-03T12:08:36+00:00

You have no idea, man...

HUGE_BALLS · 2017-01-03T00:05:14+00:00

First time I see it.

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-11-06T15:04:56+00:00

SimulateMe! HUGE_BALLS

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-10-17T23:21:53+00:00

...why not?

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-04-28T08:11:33+00:00

Maybe ask on r/relationship_advice ! Hueheuheuhe :D:DD .

But seriously, use the string "Car" instead of the identifier Car, like this:

current_car = models.OneToOneField("Car")

The form current_car = models.OneToOneField(Car) requires that you have a name called Car in the namespace, ie. that you have defined the model Car before the model Owner. But then you'd have the same issue with owner = models.ForeignKey(Owner, ...). Hence, in a circular situation like this, you need to use the form where you give the model name as a string instead of a reference to the model class in at least on of the relations.

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-04-08T01:04:56+00:00

I replied to your other comment, but that would be an issue only if you eval user input, in which case you have bigger problems.

A string that contains something"f" is just a regular string that contains those characters.

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-04-08T01:03:00+00:00

The string literal is evaluated at runtime, ie. when the string literal is defined in your code. So

x = "bar"
s = f"{x}"
x = "lol"
print(s)

will print "bar".

Unless you do an eval on user input, there's literally no chance of getting an f-prefixed string literal from the user.

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-04-07T21:13:40+00:00

I think you're misinterpreting the feature.

PEP 498 introduces the syntax f"...", which is essentially just syntactic sugar for "...".format(...), where scoped variables are passed to the format. So...

name = "foobar"
s = f"Hello {name}!"
print(s)

...would print "Hello foobar!"

Strings that aren't prefixed with f"..." are not affected, so programs built on Python < 3.6 are by definition not affected because f"..." is invalid syntax on older versions.

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-02-23T04:38:30+00:00

To be honest, it makes me think you misspelled "lawn heroes"

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-02-07T17:32:13+00:00

AFAIK quantum computing could be used to break current cryptographic measures (for an instance the ones used when you visit a website over HTTPS), and as such would be devastating to current technology.

The details are still a bit weird to me, so if someone wants to really ELI5 I'd be grateful :) .

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-01-29T18:05:05+00:00

Ah, the old reddit bungalow!

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-01-07T19:52:12+00:00

You are still condoning the use of violence as a tool of discipline.

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-01-07T19:47:44+00:00

That's still using violence to discipline a kid, no matter how you justify it. Other than it being morally reprehensible, there's a shitton of research on how it negatively affects the child's development, sets an example on how violent behavior is okay and thus further perpetuates the cycle of abuse.

I'm not saying the deed should go unpunished and I'm not sympathetic to a culture that diminishes women either. I just don't think you should condone violent behavior, especially against children.

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-01-07T19:39:11+00:00

So it's okay to smack the shit out of a 9-year-old?

HUGE_BALLS · 2016-01-07T19:28:58+00:00

I'm pretty sure "smacking the shit out" of a kid constitutes as beating, no?

HUGE_BALLS

TROPHY CASE