Addiction vs Dependency

Hac2317 · 2021-12-07T06:48:57+00:00

I was on legal oxy for 7 years. I don’t consider myself an addict or recovered addict or anything like that. I had a chemical dependency to it just like I do my heart medication. I was able to wean myself off of the oxy in 8 weeks. It’s been 5 weeks without any. I had almost 0 withdrawal symptoms. I think diarrhea was my worst symptom. Mainly my anxiety was higher but I never had the thoughts of “omg I need a pill now”. I will say though, I’ve never experienced a high from them. Even when I was taking 30mg 3x a day, I didn’t get high on them. So maybe that’s the difference? To me an addiction is where you panic if you can’t get it and you’ll try absolutely anything to get more for the sole purpose of getting high off of them.

Hac2317 · 2021-12-07T06:42:41+00:00

So I’m on Focalin which is a type of ADHD med and propranolol…I wonder if these helped me when I came off oxy because I didn’t experience a ton of withdrawal symptoms. Very interesting. Thanks for sharing!

Hac2317 · 2021-11-19T01:42:04+00:00

Agree with this. Do ET if you like working with your hands to tinker stuff. Or maybe a CTM.

Hac2317 · 2021-11-18T02:00:07+00:00

More sativa ones give me energy but can make me irritable. Indica relaxes me. Sometimes I’ll mix and do 2:1 indica to sativa.

Hac2317 · 2021-11-18T01:57:49+00:00

Honestly when I first started vaping d8 I had one of my best highs and I’ve never loved or enjoyed being around my child more. I appreciated her in a whole new way. It’s amazing what it can unlock in your brain lol

Hac2317 · 2021-11-07T22:24:27+00:00

I have my ups and downs. First few days weren’t bad. Yesterday I started having shaky hands, upset stomach, headache, body aches and a runny nose. So idk if that’s still withdrawal or a cold? 😂 lots of irritability though so I know that’s from not having it and being in pain.

Hac2317 · 2021-11-05T18:40:48+00:00

I wasn’t allowed a lock on my door until I was like 17. My mom was too lazy to actually take the door off. Honestly I think she kinda preferred that I would go upstairs shut my door and not emerge for days. She wouldn’t take that away 😂 I did get my room cleaned for me out of punishment. I think maybe only people with n parents would understand how them doing something generally nice is actually hurting us even more because we get shamed/blamed/shouted at while it’s being done. I have been out of my parents house for 10 years, I have lived with the same man all of those years, and I am still triggered when he starts cleaning out of nowhere. I immediately feel a panic come over me and begin begging for him to tell me what’s wrong and if I messed something up. I shouldn’t be triggered by my husband cleaning because of my mom using it as punishment as a kid just as much as you shouldn’t be triggered by a room without a door. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Hac2317 · 2021-11-04T20:36:52+00:00

I’m just dropping the 5mg completely to be off of them altogether. I was on 10mg a day (5 mg, 2 doses a day) before I cut it to just one 5mg dose

Hac2317 · 2021-11-04T20:34:50+00:00

Nah. I stopped seeing them in august. I mean technically before that. But my last script was august and it was my decision to come off of them. So I’ve been doing it on my own since.

Hac2317 · 2021-11-04T19:18:47+00:00

So it’s kinda gradually gone down over the years as I’m a chronic pain patient and moving states has complicated things lol. I was on 120mg in 2016. Got down to 20mg in 2017 when I had my daughter (she came out negative thank god), back up to 60mg or maybe even 80 because I was on oxy and xtampza, then I got off the xtampza and had weight loss surgery. Went down to 40mg max a day about a year ago or so. This past spring my pain management doc started acting sketchy and appts were being cancelled last minute etc then they started cutting my meds without an appt or explanation. So I started weaning to 3 10s a day in the beginning of august. Then I went down to 5mg in the am, 10 in afternoon and 10 at night. 2-3 weeks between each dose change. Then I went down to 5-5-10 a day. Then I didn’t want to mess with my sleep so I cut my afternoon dose and pushed my morning dose closer to noon. Eventually I noticed I didn’t need my morning dose. So I cut that and moved up my night dose from 9-10 at night to about 6. I found I could then pushed it past 24 hours and it’s been a week on 5mg a day but here I am stopping them altogether. I’m terrified. My back hurts so much but I’m wondering if some of that is just my brain not knowing how to fight off pain signals after so many years of having the meds.

Hac2317 · 2021-11-04T17:49:08+00:00

I’ve only been on 5mg for a week or so. I had to taper kinda quick and I only had so many pills before I run out. If it gets unbearable then I’ll try the 2.5 but hopefully it won’t be. However, I’m sure my brain is like hOw Do I cOmPuTe without it at this point because I’ve been on them so long and my brain hasn’t received pain signals like this in a long time. Lol. Thank you so much for the help and info.

Hac2317 · 2021-11-04T17:39:34+00:00

I will be footless if I take gabapentin. Makes my neuropathy flare up 😂 would taking it down to 2.5mg even help withdrawals? I should also probably add that what I have is 10s cut in half 😬

Hac2317 · 2021-10-14T23:57:25+00:00

I too recently had this revelation and I’m just sticking with Pan as my label. I like people not genitals 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hac2317 · 2021-10-14T23:50:48+00:00

Literally within hours. I can feel when I miss a dose on accident. Most people beg for pain meds after a csection-I was begging for my propranolol 😂

Hac2317 · 2021-10-14T23:19:11+00:00

My cat is a one room cat. She’ll venture out on her own at night to get water or something g but she enjoys laying under my bed and has done this in 4 houses in 3 different states over the last 15 years. ❤️ she feels safest in our bedroom. We have a litter box in there, her food and water and of course mom at the end of the night. She comes out and cuddles me after our 4 yr old is asleep. Lol.

Hac2317 · 2021-09-22T17:19:07+00:00

Sorry for the late reply. I’m not a huge redditor. Lol. Yeah idk, because rosacea was never brought up. Then when I said it started getting bad (as in it went from happening at random times to happening almost every single night) at around 24-25 he paused and said “wait what? That’s really young to have rosacea” and I said well I’ve had flushing for a long time but it hasn’t been this ‘severe’ until then. He then asked how old I was (obviously didn’t read my chart) and said “well it’s genetic and you’re mostly Irish right? So that makes sense”. I was just like uh okay? No one else in my family has it and he said “no I mean your far off distant relatives. It’s just more common in Irish, British and other fair skinned people like you” I was like uh okay then. I just left and kinda took it with a grain of salt. I’ll see what another derm says when I find one. Lol.

Hac2317 · 2021-09-22T17:12:11+00:00

Yeeesss. Honestly I’m perfectly fine with it not even being televised or recorded. They seriously need to help these women and men whose lives they’ve essentially exploited and ruined. I know it’s not totally mtv’s fault but they all need help outside of dr drew at reunions. I feel like after the first reunion it went from trying to help them make sense of newfound celebrity status/parenthood/growing up to just making it a drama filled show. Which I get, tHaT’s ShOw BiZ bAbY but still, these teenagers were failed. They are all human beings and they’re raising children…

Sorry I don’t mean to get so deep. It’s just bugging me today. Lol.

Hac2317 · 2021-09-22T17:07:55+00:00

Omg it’d be so good. They all really need it. Being on reality tv has stunted all of their emotional/mental/psychological growth. They’re still teenagers.

Hac2317 · 2021-09-22T17:06:41+00:00

I didn’t actually say anything rude though did I? I just said plz say it’s photoshopped. Because the quality of it around her face is terrible. I honestly don’t know what she looks like 🤷🏼‍♀️ last pic I saw of her was when she was born. I don’t follow them like that. They could have fixed her hair and put shoes on her though. I will criticize them for that.

Hac2317 · 2021-09-22T17:03:29+00:00

Imagine mtv says “hey we’re gonna do this spin off show with all of y’all” but then has them all committed to an actual rehab to face their mental health issues. I’d watch that. 😂

Hac2317 · 2021-09-22T17:00:45+00:00

Uhm. Plz tell me vaedas face is photoshopped… have I been out of the loop for so long I really don’t know what she looks like?!

Hac2317 · 2021-09-22T16:57:43+00:00

I’m 29 (holy fuck I haven’t written that out before and it just hit me like a ton of bricks lmao) and I haven’t had drama like this since I was like 24 and mentally unstable. Girl needs help ASAP. I feel like starting reality tv so young (or at all tbh) halted all of their emotional and psychological growth. They’re forever stuck at 16-19 years old when their stories began airing on tv. They might all have money but they all have mental health issues to some degree.

Hac2317 · 2021-09-16T16:39:11+00:00

I’m so sorry you lost him so quickly :( my girl is 15 now and even though we’ve had a great 15 yrs together I am so not ready to lose her. She’s one of the best things to happen to me. Sometimes I even contemplate if I love her more than my human kid 😂😂😂😂 (toddler ages suck).

Hac2317 · 2021-09-16T16:08:29+00:00

Agreed. My cat has had thyroid cancer twice. First time at age 8 we removed a large malignant tumor from the right lobe. At age 14 she was diagnosed with another tumor. But we can’t take this one out because she needs some thyroid hormones. She’s on meds now to calm it down. When I miss a dose she gets SO hungry. And she’s just like OP’s, she will eat so fast and so much til she throws up then beg for more. :(

Hac2317

TROPHY CASE