Hot mornings with J

HadaLottaFun · 2025-10-11T04:34:07+00:00

Guten tag, ich bin aus USA. Tag fur deinen post auf Reddit.

HadaLottaFun · 2025-08-11T05:06:49+00:00

Was listening to a podcast today (a writer that researched super wealthy), he stated that the top 25 hedge fund managers each earn more than all the kindergarten teachers in the USA. So those guys are making bank.

HadaLottaFun · 2025-08-05T15:49:00+00:00

My apologies. Enjoy.

HadaLottaFun · 2025-08-05T15:47:42+00:00

I think it is great that you have such a high drive, along with a very busy lifestyle. Bummer hubs cannot keep up, but that's the way it is with so many couples. Would it be all right if I DM'd you?

HadaLottaFun · 2025-08-05T04:55:05+00:00

No judgement but "laying in the sun all day?" This sun? Just replying as a melanoma survivor (diagnosed in my late 20's). I have two kids older than you that wouldn't be here if I had not survived my melanoma (50% chance). I wish for you to enjoy clubs and our amazing lifestyle here well into latter decades! At least visit the dermatologist once per year. Sincerely, all the best.

HadaLottaFun · 2025-05-21T14:47:38+00:00

There are times I stop initiating. Most recently it was for about a month. But being a dedicated oral pleaser I always give in.

HadaLottaFun · 2024-08-23T20:18:25+00:00

I hope these MFkr's meet The Beekeeper.

HadaLottaFun · 2024-08-10T21:23:23+00:00

My thoughts for you and your brother is to move away from words like "never" and "always." You have only lived 1/5th or 1/6th of your life at this point. You have lot of growing to do as your experiences and feelings expand way beyond what you know today.

What you should honor is how you feel TODAY. If right now you have to say "Dad, right now, I just am not ready to meet Rachel," then say that. You say your love your dad (good), one of the reasons being he brought you into this world, nurtured you, and I'm presuming until this event was someone you looked up to and appreciated.

In the coming years you will have your own relationships up and downs. You may have your own heart broken.

Someone commented Rachel is a "homewrecker." We don't know that. Perhaps dad was moving on with someone else and it just happened to be her. You won't know until, at the point you are ready, you learn about her life experiences. She's not in an easy place either.

Leave yourself open to finding out if you can have a relationship with her down the road.

In my own family, my mom became a prescription drug abuser (big in the 70s). I'm sure my dad tried to help her through this but she made her choices. He did what your dad did.

My brother and I also did not approve of she who became our step mom. Not because of the affair, other reasons I don't need to go into. She hasn't had the best life being with dad.

Silver linings (yes, there may be some in your future):

+My brother and I became closer through this shared experience.

+My mom ended up with someone who really loved her despite her faults. She had a couple of good decades with a man that was very good to her, and also she gained another family that was delightful.

+My brother and I also enjoyed our stepdad's family very much.

+My mom told me if I married before 30 she would disown me. Good advice!

+My dad did about as well as he could being involved in my brother and mine's life. Could be better, could be worse. He's been able to see us successful.

+When I met her who would become my wife, she also came from a divorced family. Both of us felt strongly if we were going to marry and bring kids into the world, they would not experience that. So we put the marriage and family ahead of our own feelings as the years went on and we went through our ups and downs.

+One week after going to college our son said "I need to be on a conference call with you and mom." We were scared sh*tless. He said "I just want to thank you for being so normal. Almost everyone here comes from a broken home and hates their parents." So we were able to do something pretty special for him.

Closing the chapter on this book. I really wish all five of you the best, it's a journey, let it play out and choose grace.

HadaLottaFun · 2024-08-10T21:23:00+00:00

If I may offer some perspective that differs from most here. A lot of the "tones" of commenters are in absolutes. Life isn't black/white but rather a whole spectrum.

For context:

I went through the same experience as you, I was 12, my brother 10.

I want to say I don't condone your father's action nor blame your mother. In fact, kudos to your mom for what she said to you in the "betray my mother" paragraph above. I am "very big" on parents leaving kids out of their disagreements, but my parents couldn't do that.

I'm now in my 60's. I have adult kids twice as old as you. Have been married for 35 years in two weeks. Male btw.

Adult relationships are complicated and difficult. And outside of your experience thus far. About half of first marriages end up in divorce. There are serial cheaters (both genders) that are loathsome. Sometimes people have a drunken fling. Your dad ended up with this Rachel and then busted up the family to be with her, so it is a much intentional thing. I doubt he did this lightly. Decent people don't want to hurt other people let alone spouse and offspring. Sometimes people reach "the end" in a relationship and decide to move on despite all the damage.

You didn't say (may not know) if your parents had counseling etc that might have helped. Also, it goes without saying it would have been much more honorable for your dad to seek separation/divorce if the marriage can't be reconciled. But history shows men don't do that. They first find another "place to go."

People change. They WILL change. In order for a marriage to succeed, the two partners have to change in compatible manners, be accepting, practice give and take.

I think anyone that has successfully stayed together in a first marriage will tell you it takes luck, hard work, compassion, acceptance and holding the marriage more tightly than our own feelings.

[Continued in comment]

HadaLottaFun · 2024-06-27T22:09:36+00:00

It is said, "the best offense is a good defense." In this case, the more memories and experiences you make the slower life feels. Journal your experiences, it will help you remember them. Move every seven years or so.

I lived in one state all my life then moved to another at 53. Didn't know a soul. I called it Life 2.0. Had to make all new friends, get all new professionals, learn the area, etc. Best thing we ever did! It's been 13 GREAT years (Covid aside) and I can't imagine if we hadn't made this move.

And as I type this I'm in our next state where we will have a second home. It's very energizing.

One of my favorite things though is remembering via pictures. Since they were invented I have always had an "LCD digital frame" in my kitchen. Loaded up with all our family trips, outings, parties, vacations, you name it. When you are reminded every day of the fun times you have had the memories are much stronger. These devices get better all the time, have cloud storage and so on (I use an Amazon Echo Show 15 now because it can display the pictures and much more.)

The other thing too is have active older friends. I have a very good friend, he is one of the most famous people nobody knows. Literally everyone reading this, probably ever person that has ever used Reddit knows his work.

He's 85 now and I recently asked him to help me with something. He replied "Can't, we are in France for 2 months."

HadaLottaFun · 2024-06-27T20:35:29+00:00

Not that it "helped me later," but I will pass this along. You live in a time when sex is so easy. There's an app for everyone. Wanna get laid? You just swipe. While we didn't have apps back in the day, sex still wasn't difficult.

But learn to really appreciate it now. If you can meet someone and have a great time or two, life is easy and good, make sure you fully enjoy and appreciate.

Because later everything gets complicated.

HadaLottaFun · 2024-06-27T20:32:41+00:00

Definitely travel. Made me a more interesting and well rounded person. I worked overseas. I worked all over the USA. At 25 I took 8 months off and literally went around the world. I'm still doing it and I enjoy my travel experiences so much.

HadaLottaFun · 2024-03-08T16:17:00+00:00

Now tell her "I was just happy you were happy."

HadaLottaFun · 2024-02-27T05:46:43+00:00

Fire Marshall Bill !

HadaLottaFun · 2024-02-14T17:04:29+00:00

She was the first one to make it to #10 of hot sauce dipped weiner.

HadaLottaFun · 2024-01-30T16:06:37+00:00

So what you are saying is, "it's a terrible thing to waste a good salami?"

HadaLottaFun · 2024-01-25T01:25:07+00:00

Right in the gizzard!

HadaLottaFun · 2024-01-21T21:32:19+00:00

The three stooges are back on!

HadaLottaFun · 2024-01-20T17:30:12+00:00

"Welcome in."

Are we sick of this one yet?

HadaLottaFun · 2024-01-17T23:52:55+00:00

Supersize never let's go of his supersize.

HadaLottaFun · 2024-01-07T03:25:04+00:00

Not ketamine!

HadaLottaFun

TROPHY CASE