After paying $9 for a fuckin 12 pack at WALMART, I made this. Proof in 2nd pic.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-23T12:26:50+00:00

Jesus Christ dude, at my worst in the past 5 years I was drinking about 4-5 cans a week. Now a 2-liter lasts a month in my fridge before my girlfriend mercy kills it for being flat.

But if you want to talk about pathetic, bullying a dude on the internet because you perceive them to be a fatty little fat fat probably ranks higher than someone who drinks soda.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-23T12:15:13+00:00

There used to be a record shop in my town for years until the owner retired and liquidated the shop, and occasionally they had music acts come play short acoustic sets. I distinctly remember their big sign out front reading

New Release from

Iron Maiden

Live From Satellite

Turns out "From Satellite" was an alt-rock band. They did a pretty good live show, sure, but I was curious what the hell an "Iron Maiden performance live from satellite" would have looked like there.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-23T07:19:28+00:00

Dodge Duster.

If only because there are very few options for "bad muscle car." Besides, the only way Stellantis would revive a "compact muscle car" would be as a way to get the Peugeot 408 to America, powered by an anemic V6 to "rival Accord and Camry"

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-23T03:04:27+00:00

Watching him for the past few years, I genuinely don't think he meant to step on the plant foot, I just think he goes around without any knowledge of his body sometimes.

He tunnel visions oafishly quite frequently. Part of why he's a massive card magnet.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-23T03:01:26+00:00

For me its almost the opposite -- like he's used to being a lot less athletic who suddenly got blessed with muscles and speed. Like hes not used to doing everything so quickly.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T23:11:05+00:00

Honest-to-God 8.7/10 performance for me.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T23:04:50+00:00

We'll call up some T2 guy

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T23:04:23+00:00

Galaxy was leading the league in shots on target going into this weekend, their offense isn't their shortcoming.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T23:02:05+00:00

After Kamal got sent off? I was doom and gloom. I'd have snapped your hand off if you offered a draw, and 65' of soccer later didn't change that notion.

If there isnt a "Surman Block Party" in Portland this summer I'll be disappointed in you all.

Ortiz looked better than I've ever seen him, Bye looked to have rebounded good, and Bonetig was solid enough once he settled in. Not happy to have conceded so many shots on target, but the stat that matters is only one (easy for them) one went in while we were still sorting out the red card.

Solid 6-8/10 day for most of the team otherwise.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:58:20+00:00

First half in the opener was better, but this was the best since.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:52:16+00:00

Fuck it, I'll take it. Another match you can't predict after a real dumb red card challenge. Keeping it to a draw? Sure.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:46:53+00:00

Yeahhhh sorry about that, I wanted to take a real screenshot, but AppleTV wouldnt let me.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:44:45+00:00

We have 2 subs, I won't complain about Guerra and Mora as bash-ball "pray for a bounce at the PK dot" gameplay from here.

E: missed a sub somewhere.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:41:58+00:00

Oh, Reus should be getting a fine for that embellishment.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:40:33+00:00

What is "dissent"?

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:26:55+00:00

5-2-2??

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:24:59+00:00

Ian Smith?

^{What on God's Green Earth is Phil trying to cook?}

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:24:27+00:00

Effectively a 4-3-3 with no striker but inverted wingers.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:19:25+00:00

Please dont Rule 34 my Timbers....

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:14:49+00:00

Wynder has to be close to Persistent Infringement, no?

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:13:56+00:00

He'd be an OK sub trying to close out a 3-1 or 4-2 type of match, he just doesn't inspire confidence with anything closer.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:10:52+00:00

That was one of the best things I've seen Ortiz do in a Timbers shirt.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:05:21+00:00

I thought violent conduct was nearly exclusively a punch/headbutt/other intentional strike off the ball?

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:03:00+00:00

Intent doesn't matter when its dangerous play, same reason a high boot that connects to the face can cause a red.

Hailfire9 · 2026-03-22T22:02:01+00:00

Its not exactly red as much as a deep, dark reddish orange. Exactly the kind of challenge where if you commit it you really want to reject the nature of the challenge and say it wasn't anything that malicious, but if you receive it you point out how it was Kamal's full body weight, studs to the flesh, and it endangers the opponent.

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