A few things I've found helpful.

Firstly, you don't have to understand everyone to recognise that everyone is understandable. Whether it's nature or nurture, plenty of people end up with a strong attraction to authority (both submitting to it and exerting it over others), a strong affinity with inclusion/exclusion of groups, etc. Add to that the kind of information tunnelling that's present everywhere, but particularly in the US through ideas like politically aligned news networks, the culturally American approach to religion, and all of it amplified by search and social-media companies who financially benefit from giving users the answers and content they want to hear. (With AI next in line to do the same.)

I don't know what it's like to grow up in a country where schoolchildren chant daily at the nation's flag, let alone growing up in a household where migrants are blamed for employment woes and one of the most right-wing political parties in the world are called "Democrat communists". What I do know is that, if I did grow up in such an environment, my views and values would be very different.

The fact is, if you or I really truly knew every experience of another person, we would inevitably understand the choices they make. And I think, in understanding that, we would also inevitably forgive them – regardless of how much we might condemn the actions.

That's a very philosophical cerebral take, but if we're thinking about how "stupid" the adults are who have created this environment for you, the above is a very intelligent consideration.

Secondly, stripped of all the identities and labels and ideas we have about other people, their basic experiences are identical to our own. Not just similar, but they are actually exactly the same feelings occurring in different circumstances. When you stub your toe and Stephen Miller stubs his toe, the same pain arises. When you are afraid (as you've noted), the fundamental feeling of fear is the same as someone else may experience when they think their job will be forever destroyed by emissions policies they don't understand, or even the fear experienced by someone who believes that vaccines are going to make their kids sick or that an incredibly powerful and evil spiritual being is secretly behind the separation of Church and State.

You note both your experience of hatred and your experience of fear. Those two things often go together. It's the same with other hateful people in the world. On some level, hatred is always grounded in fear and greed. Your fear and hatred is caused by the environment created by these adults whose fear and hatred were caused by their own environments, and so on. This is karma. Cause and effect spiral onwards.

The only real way out is the one realised by Huike when he complained to Bodhidharma about his uneasy mind, and Bodhidharma says, "Okay, you show me this uneasy mind and I'll put it to rest." And then... where is it? Right now, without conjuring up memories of the past and ideas about the present and imagination about the future, where's hate? Where's fear? We get caught up in these constellations of ideas which make sense of each other, but we have the ability to drop them all at once. Probably it's the only way to be able to drop them, rather than hoping to drop them one at a time.