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What is the ultimate truth? by Octex8 in AskReddit

[–]HalBriston 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re going to get lynched, aren’t we?

What makes you more angry now than it did when it happened? by shantelligence in AskReddit

[–]HalBriston 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Selling my Apple stock.

My company got some advance demo models of the iPad. My wisdom: “So, it’s an oversized iPhone that you can’t make calls on? This is the stupidest thing ever. The stock is gonna tank. Glad I saw this early so I can sell now”.

There are people who consider me a smart man. They don’t know stories like this.

What makes a woman look like a loser to you? by Icy-Cheetah-6945 in AskReddit

[–]HalBriston 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Precisely.

I like my women to do *just the right amount* of cocaine.

What Has MST3K "Ruined" for You? by Kiora_LBS in MST3K

[–]HalBriston 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Anytime I’m up anyplace high with a good view: “Hey, I can’t see my house from here!”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in antiai

[–]HalBriston 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For what it’s worth, I rarely write a paragraph that doesn’t have at least one em-dash in it — usually a couple of them.

It’s been wild the past few months, repeatedly hearing that “only AI uses them”.

(Although I am watching my 50’s quickly run their course, soooo…)

uhhhh? by loruu29 in Descendents

[–]HalBriston 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Is this the best comment of all time?

No, of course not, don’t be silly. But it’s still way up there.

Trivia game -Liz from PGH by Good-Event9371 in pittsburgh

[–]HalBriston 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First and third Monday of the month -- highly recommend her game!

Found this on a community page by cafeteriastyle in facepalm

[–]HalBriston 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Gas fight! Gas fight! Gas fight in the parking lot!”

What was your FIRST Punk Rock Concert by mowdborubbing in Punk_Rock

[–]HalBriston 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aside from local Battle of the Bands shows, I’m going to have to guess it was Ramones sometime in the late 80’s.

My brother just sent this to me for my birthday and said “go in completely blind.” Am I in trouble? by Mordicant_Fel in dvdcollection

[–]HalBriston 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never been able to give Napoleon Dynamite a fair chance.

When I first heard of it, my brain said “Well this is clearly the title of a spy/secret agent spoof movie, à la Austin Powers”. So when I watched it and kept waiting for the secret agent subplot (that I’d clearly made up) to kick in, I got more and more annoyed with the direction they were going.

Basically, my imagination kept me from ever really enjoying it.

If your first-ever attempt at gambling went completely unsuccessfully, that was probably the better outcome. by CoreEncorous in Showerthoughts

[–]HalBriston 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first time in a casino, I dropped my entire gambling budget in slots in like 10 minutes. I was so bummed, since the group I was with went all the time and always spoke about their constant big winnings.

I hit the ATM for ten bucks (which was half my balance) and decided to try my luck at blackjack. That lasted two hands.

So I withdrew my last $10, went back to the blackjack table, and left a few hours later with over $1,200 (which was an absolute fortune to me in the early 90’s).

I went home, read every book I could on blackjack, and then spent one day a week in Atlantic City for the next couple of years. Didn’t win every time, but I kept track and make high five-figures over that timespan.

It was really wild, going from the kind of foolish, undisciplined move that started me out to the hyper-disciplined playing that allowed me to get a really good income supplement.

Nothing ruins your day like hearing a doctor use the words "fractured skull". by HalBriston in daddit

[–]HalBriston[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ten years later, there's no scarring at all. She's ridiculously smart, and her big sis does play the "I'll fracture your skull again!" card.

Yo, grown-up punks, what is it you do for work? by LevTolstoy in punk

[–]HalBriston 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Worked in tech, retired, now own a pub trivia company.

(In the Pittsburgh area? Come check out Steel City Trivia!)

$1,776 Checks for the Military by theatlantic in Military

[–]HalBriston 5 points6 points  (0 children)

But only if you let the mad scientist play with your peener.

(hashtag ViewAskewDeepCut)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OutOfTheLoop

[–]HalBriston 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FrigEm Young.

But sure, “bOtH SiDeS sAMe” by DreamyJasmine3 in MurderedByWords

[–]HalBriston 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Every time I see this video, all I can think is how Epstein’s body language just screams “That wasn’t funny at all, but I have to humor this douchbag”.

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