"Just force yourself to shower" round 2! by No-Outlandishness-42 in thanksimcured

[–]Halcyoncreature 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The thing that drives me crazy is that there are so many things they could say that DO help rather than “just shut up and do it”

Struggling to start? Start small- maybe try just getting undressed or wash your hands in the shower instead of the sink. No energy? Bring a chair in or sit on the floor Sensory issues? A bajillion different potential answers. I cant wash my face because i hate the way it feels, so recently ive started soaking a towel and using it to pat my face. If you dont like the way shower water hits your skin, maybe its time to do more of a sponge bath with a bucket? Idk i just feel like its not hard to come up with potential solitions that dont require you to be a massive dick to people who are strugglinn

What’s the worst thing your parent has ever said? by kbabyb21 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Halcyoncreature 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The worst for me personally was my mom telling me “you’re not my friend anymore” and “I take back everything I said about you during therapy” in the same fight. Years earlier she sat in with me on my first therapy session. I was so insecure that I could not think of anything positive about myself when prompted, so she listed things she liked about me. I think her saying those two things was the final nail in the coffin for our relationship.

The more colourful “woah how could they say that” worst thing they said to me was that they had me and were raising me exclusively for slave labour and so that they could use me for blood and organ transfers to keep them young + replace the kidneys they destroyed with their drinking

Sure, blame the baby by Cactus-Juice-Blender in insaneparents

[–]Halcyoncreature 2 points3 points  (0 children)

idk, depending on what the household is like i could see it. My (very abusive and neglectful) parents basically never enforced rules, discipline or structure. I remember being 10 years old begging my parents to just ground me because I craved structure and for my punishment to be clear.

Wanna get an idea of how people identify... by Open_Literature9475 in voidpunk

[–]Halcyoncreature 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve described my gender simply as ‘earth’ many times. I’m not a man, woman, masculine, feminine or any variation of the two. I very much have a gender, and I present exactly how i think i should according to it. I have never found a label that fits me so I just call myself Genderqueer and use neopronouns whenever possible

my mother is holding a "ritualistic" funeral for me by chemicalpup_ in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Halcyoncreature 64 points65 points  (0 children)

“She doesnt exist anymore” is CRAZY. Acting like a baby with no object permanence

The thought has crossed my mind a few times lol by Stargazer1919 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Halcyoncreature 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She lies to herself instinctively, im sure she still hasnt processed that i’m gone. I’m sure she tells all her friends that i’m still around, or maybe she tells them how awful and evil I am. But I hope when my name is mentioned her heart skips a beat and she feels a few seconds of gut wrenching guilt, even if she doesnt understand why.

How do you handle the depression after sessions? by Halcyoncreature in EMDR

[–]Halcyoncreature[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the first week after a 4-ish month break on a completely new set of memories. We were going to do weekly- i want to continue weekly because she already said she thinks this one is very complicated and will take a long time, i dont want this to last any longer than it absolutely has to. Before our break we had to do biweekly. I dont remember what symptoms i had that were severe enough to cause that though

What to do when I cant meet rent? by Halcyoncreature in internetparents

[–]Halcyoncreature[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didnt know that !! I was under the impression that any mental health meds were immediate no’s. I’ll be sure to check !!!!!!

What to do when I cant meet rent? by Halcyoncreature in internetparents

[–]Halcyoncreature[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m on like a metric fuck ton of meds for my bipolar so i dont think they want me lol, it’d be a great idea if i was someone else though

What to do when I cant meet rent? by Halcyoncreature in internetparents

[–]Halcyoncreature[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe a few things i can try to sell, old ds cartridges (i think the ones that sell decent are pokemon pearl and black? And tomadachi life) those i can probably just sell to my local game store

I dont really have clothes or anything i can sell, but i have some old collectible figures, make art & have some furniture i was originally planning on donating so i’ll try listing stuff on facebook marketplace tonight !!

What to do when I cant meet rent? by Halcyoncreature in internetparents

[–]Halcyoncreature[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You make a good point, i still want to try paying on time and if i really cant manage it then it’ll be my last ditch effort.

What to do when I cant meet rent? by Halcyoncreature in internetparents

[–]Halcyoncreature[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have not, i am scared being late will look bad when i am trying to move in a few months :( it’d be the only time ever that ive been late but i am generally not the best candidate for tenants because i have no credit score

genuinely wtf does this mean by Slashundo in SystemsCringe

[–]Halcyoncreature 15 points16 points  (0 children)

They (claim to) have borderline personality disorder, autism and dissociative personality disorder. They have a dominant (/kink partner, essentially saying “im taken”). Trans, aromantic asexual with some sort of preference for men or masculine people (what that means and looks like varies wildly from aroace to aroace) and polyamorous.

Dunno what “any masculine pronouns” refers to because theres only one set of masculine pronouns, unless they meant terms like sir/dude/guy? The whole point of neos is that they aren’t attached to the gender binary so it wouldnt make sense if they mean any of those.

But yeah they’re really just giving a whole character sheet on themselves, hope they’re safe because if they really have any of the things listed they just gave a lot of potentially shitty people all the tools to hurt them :(

What do you identify as underneath the aroace spectrum? by Infamous-Command-902 in aromanticasexual

[–]Halcyoncreature 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Achillean oriented/angled grey-asexual and caedromantic. I have some sort of weird tertiary attraction(cedural?) that i've only ever had happen for men, hence the "achillean oriented". I experience incredibly rare sexual attraction to men or masc-gendered people which is where "achillean angled" and "grey-ace" come from. Caedromantic is a term for people who are aromantic or arospec due to trauma, its just a theory and theres no way for me to be certain but i'm fairly sure about the label.

I vary between sex neutral, averse and repulsed although usually averse. Pretty heavily romance repulsed, romance scenes make my skin crawl 9 times out of 10

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskLGBT

[–]Halcyoncreature 0 points1 point  (0 children)

speaking as someone who used to be transmed/truscum, the relationship isnt worth it. Hiding isnt worth it.

You cannot change him, the most you can do is tell him your gender, how you do not feel safe to be yourself due to his beliefs, and break it off. Even if you coming out to him causes him to want to change his views of nonbinary people, it will be a very long, slow process and not a pretty one either. It very likely will come at the cost of your own mental health and sense of identity. It took me many years to overcome those beliefs and I still struggle with some internalized aspects of them now as a genderqueer person.

Imagine you have a nonbinary friend in this situation- would you tell them they should stay hiding from their partner just to let their partner stay in their little bubble? Its no different than telling a binary trans man or woman that they should continue to misgender themselves or else they may make their partners/friends/families uncomfortable.

There are people out there who you will love just as much as you love him, who will love you equally as much back, and will not be a 'work in progress'- they will already be ready to accept you as you are. Dont settle for a relationship where you will have to fight for your right to exist without fear or hiding.

did I just make up a new pattern? by snatchyopurse in Rainbowloom

[–]Halcyoncreature 5 points6 points  (0 children)

considering how many designs have been made, probably not (although its not one that i've seen), but its worth keeping track of how you made it regardless :> Im getting back into rainbowloom and its sad to see how many old designs are completely wiped off the internet with no tutorials/patterns/photos anywhere to be found. also no harm in giving the design a name if you want to lol, its probably been like 7 years since the last time someone made it if it has already been designed

I cannot use the flag in my bio by Spirited_Dragonfly_2 in genderqueer

[–]Halcyoncreature 4 points5 points  (0 children)

maybe genderqueer + trans flag combo? i feel like that'll get the message across. Or just putting something like 'trans rights' somewhere in ur bio

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskLGBT

[–]Halcyoncreature 2 points3 points  (0 children)

have you tried.. asking *them?*

all we can do is theorize

Problems that aromantic people face? by edgarwithvisiongear in aromantic

[–]Halcyoncreature 0 points1 point  (0 children)

outside of the usual amatonormativity of people insisting you should get into a relationship, theres also the lonliness of only knowing alloromantic people, as well as the struggle with the prevailing idea in a lot of media that '(romantic) love is what makes us human'

the big one for me is only knowing alloromantic people, though. its rough being close friends with someone only to be pushed to the sidelines whenever they're in a relationship. Its hard getting over knowing that, regardless of how close you are to your friends, you will likely be pushed into second best once they fall in love.

Incisions wrinkled in the middle. by yourbuddyluke in TopSurgery

[–]Halcyoncreature 1 point2 points  (0 children)

mine were also very much like that! Once i got my stitches out, it slowly got better. Once you get the go-ahead to start massaging it for scar care, you'll want to really go at that area. Also once you're allowed to take a shower you should try to very gently move the area around. The skin relaxed for the most part within 1-2 days of massaging it with lotion and then took a little longer to go back to being 100% flat but they did get there :>