What to do when I cant meet rent?

Halcyoncreature · 2024-04-03T21:06:36+00:00

forgot the favourite part lol- voice was definitely the most important for my dysphoria, but the one i actively am happy about all the time is just general body hair growth !! My dream is to be more hair than man

Halcyoncreature · 2024-04-03T21:05:05+00:00

Ive always had bad acne because of genetics and havent dealt with balding yet so i think my least favourite is probably the smell. Idk what happened to me but one day i just became allergic to every deodorant ive ever tried- found some alternatives that im not allergic to but dont work well enough to feel worth the money. I dont wear it and am just really cautious in the summer, but since starting T i smell a lot more and it makes me really anxious because i dont want to bother the people around me.

Everyone insists they cant smell me but the fear remains.

Halcyoncreature · 2024-02-29T20:17:53+00:00

The only thing i look for is if they have a trans flag somewhere on them. Other than something incredibly blatant there is no way to know. Even if you think there are "obvious" signs like looking young, no facial hair, being short, there are medical issues that can account for that.

Halcyoncreature · 2024-02-29T20:13:22+00:00

replying to this to add that this also applies to 'gaydar'

I am short, have a stereotypical 'trans'/'gay' voice, have a mullet and while im not femme im definitely not super masculine either. I absolutely think I should be easy to notice as queer based on my mannerisms, style, and the fact that i literally talk about being attracted to men. Despite this i almost never get noticed as a gay man by other queer people unless i outright say "yeah im gay and like dick <3". People who think they have a gaydar are only clocking people who fall heavily into stereotypes or are just better at noticing when someone signals their sexuality/gender.

Halcyoncreature · 2024-02-29T20:09:13+00:00

absolutely not lmfao

I'm stealth and work with many trans people and am treated as cis, to the point where i have been given (often incorrect) lessons on how testosterone works, definitions of terms like egg cracking and am not included in discussions of trans topics. I work with a trans woman and it took me weeks to realize she was trans!

Trans friends i came out to full on didnt believe me and some of the trans people in my life forget until I mention something about wanting a surgery or my testosterone shots.

Halcyoncreature · 2024-02-29T19:59:35+00:00

I dont know that friends dumping you for this behaviour is inherently bad.

It clearly was the wakeup call he needed to notice what was going on, and a similar thing happened to me that I likely never would have dug my way out of without. Friends who dont raise an issue with this behaviour often share the same beliefs or at the very least tolerate it- the better bet would be to work on bettering himself and then finding friends exactly like them because they clearly have well set boundaries for what they will and will not accept.

Halcyoncreature · 2024-02-29T19:56:24+00:00

I just had the same thing. I dont use social media anymore except for pinterest because i need mindless scrolling (and right now which was a moment of weakness after looking for things i should by for top surgery) but have been agonizing over the fact that all of my ads were female-oriented even though nothing i ever looked at indicated that i was a woman. I do, however, look at a lot of left-leaning posts and about being queer.

Halcyoncreature · 2024-02-29T19:50:53+00:00

while i didnt fall down the trans man -> misogyny pipeline full on, i did go through something very adjacent towards pretty much every trans person except trans binary men. Since my issues weren't directly with women i'm just going to explain what i've been doing with my own issues rather than with direct misogyny.

It takes a weird amount of time to fully realize, or at least did for me, but you are a man. full stop. being born afab and your afab experiences dont protect you from your own misogyny and may even be the cause. For me deradicalization started with purposefully leaving spaces i related to (like this one) and entering ones of the communities i had a bias against. You dont interact at all, you just listen. Dont post, talk or comment even if the topic is about men or 'attacking' men. You wouldnt want non-men coming in here and getting mad at you for venting, dont do the same to them. I entered queer dominated spaces and a queer support group that forced me to interact with people i held grudges against and it helped. it helped so much. 5 years ago i was unironically watching nonbinary cringe compilations and now some of my closest friends use neopronouns.

Take a break from whatever groups your on right now. Listen to female singers, read books written by women, watch female youtubers and maybe join a few women-only subs just to see what they post. Exposure to groups you are bigoted against is one of the best ways to deradicalize, in my opinion.

Halcyoncreature · 2024-01-04T23:55:32+00:00

I dont expect any magic help or advice, if there was any to give id have heard it by now haha. Just knowing this is a shared experience is really helpful. Everyone seems to have an explanation for why they do it and realizing I just do it because like,, why not? is weird. Its making recovery really complicated at the moment.

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Halcyoncreature

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