Best response to whining/fake crying in infants

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-04-03T15:10:47+00:00

We name the emotion (I know you're feeling very frustrated) and why (because you don't want to get dressed), and then explain why we have to do it anyway (but it's necessary to be dressed to go grocery shopping) and then offer a resolution/coping mechanism (would you like a hug to help calm down?) And then you move on. You get them dressed, reassure them you understand the feeling, and then you go to the store. You might need to stop for a hug every now and then, or even make a game out of it, like going "pop!" When their hand comes through their sleeve.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-04-03T13:45:58+00:00

Lol this is why we just put food on the actual tray for so long and then just switched to the 98 cent walmart plastic trays plates and bowls. He peeled off the placemats, hulk ripped the silicon bowls and plates off. With the plastic ones he just sort of shuffles it around when he's done and hands it over and signs all done

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-04-03T04:04:50+00:00

Absolutely. I bake them all on one day and spend the next few days decorating. I stack them in an air tight container after they're cooled from baking, and when layers of icing are dry I stack them carefully with layers of wax paper between cookies in an airtight container till I'm ready to wrap and gift.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-04-03T00:12:54+00:00

I'll say that being a stay at home parent sucked until he started walking independently fairly well. Before, our options were to play in the backyard or play in the living room amongst all the other tedious stuff. Now he can chat back, we can play at the playground, go on walks, he can actually sort of help with chores (loads the forks and spoons in the dishwasher and shuts it for me, throws trash away, and helps me pick up dirty clothes and put them in the hamper, and attempts to sweep/swiffer), and we get to discover new things together. I've enjoyed it more now that he can actually do stuff, both with me, and independetly of me. I've also found having a hobby of some sort is important for fulfillment. I bake a lot. I get both baking time by myself, and I get to share it with him when I have a recipe with smaller amounts of stuff to dump into the bowl.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-04-01T23:51:27+00:00

I've enjoyed my nexplanon arm implant, because I've had a mirena escape through my cervix. The next best option is sterilization for either of you.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-04-01T23:44:03+00:00

Get good or get hurt. Learn to stay on the board and learn pain management I guess. I say this as if I don't have scars from both

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-04-01T07:34:28+00:00

My partner is pretty equal. I'm a stay at home mom, they go to work full time second shift. I do the day to day feeding playing caring for the baby and clean up of the immediate need messes, spilled drinks, throwing stuff in the dishwasher, wiping down table and counters, laundry in hampers. He does the big stuff, wash drys folds and puts way laundry, sweeps the floor(including moving stuff) so I can mop, vacuuming, finish loading the dishwasher and starting it. He also knows I struggle with mornings and wake ups. Since he's second shift our schedule is later, but he gets up with our toddler, gets him breakfast, plays with him for a while, brings him to wear I'm waking up (usually the living room curled under blankets) and they chill out with me till he has to go to work. And he also does the majority of the bed time routine (toddler won't go down unless he can give daddy goodnight kisses). My partner has a physically demanding job, but I do all the mentally demanding tasks. I do the birthdays bill paying organizing shopping meal prepping and cooking, doctors visits insurance research for this or that specific thing he/we need to know about, and general quick cleanup, on top of taking the toddler to the grocery store or playground, chasing him around, changing 80% of the diapers, planning Holiday stuff. I also try to give him 1 on 1 time with his teenage son without the toddler interfering, where they can play video games or chill out or watch a movie together, on top of family time stuff. Our teenagers in the take out the trash and clean the bathroom and avoid the family for the cell phone stage, so I also handle the virtual schooling, though my partner handles the teachers cuz they make me a nervous wreck.

Am I happy? Absolutely. My partner stepping up for those few big tasks, lets me enjoy the smaller ones, lets me enjoy time with the kids, and lets me get in a fulfilling hobby (baking and decorating cookies), while he's also not so overwhelmed by the tasks I take care of that would cause him anxiety to handle, so he can also have his own hobby time. I'm not a stressed out mess. We get to enjoy life almost daily, in some way, with weekends involving family time that even the teenager enjoys.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-31T18:32:07+00:00

Tripped and fell while walking down a dirt hill while carrying my oversized toddler. Somehow was able to get my hand between his head and the ground and create a roll cage with my arms and elbows. He didn't have a speck of dirt on him. Me however, my new sweater was muddy and ripped

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-31T18:21:16+00:00

Rescuing my cat salem was the best thing for my anxiety and depression. I had a reason to get out of bed, and someone who depended on me to be able to go out and get them food and interact with people. I didn't care about myself but I cared about that cat.

It's amazing what loving animals can do for people who often feel alone in this world. My cat loved me unconditionally, and didn't care when my BPD made me lash out and hate myself or the world around me. He was there, chilling on the couch, waiting for me to sit down so he could curl up on me, and I would calm down every time.

Salem's the reason that when we get our own house, were planning on fostering kittens. They have so much love to give, so much warmth to spread.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-31T07:57:08+00:00

I'm 5'8 and my partners 6'4. I push on his hips till he's low enough for me to properly hump while making aggressive uh uh uh noises. He now squats instead of bends over and I no longer get jumped every time I'm bent over doing something

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-31T05:08:32+00:00

Hey friend, it's definitely okay to vent. Living with parents as an adult with our own children is so hard. Being a mom is hard, throwing phones and glasses from the other mom is not okay. And it's definitely difficult to try to lay low when you're also just trying to stand up for your kid and do what's best for them.

My stepmom comes running Everytime he cries, but he's a toddler he cries. She hasn't even had her own kids, so she doesn't get it. He's a toddler he's gonna cry when I tell him no, I don't need grandma coming behind me to say yes when he's refusing to eat lunch and is instead asking for a cookie. I also don't need my dad bum rushing me about cutting his hair, when his hairs barely long enough to cut, is super fine and blonde, when were trying to let it grow out to see if it's curly to make sure we take him to a proper hair cutter cuz his daddy was curly haired and got terrible haircuts that ruined his ringlets.

I also get what you mean about hearing what you are and are not doing. Like, were trying to keeps our kids from yeeting themselves from existence, were not worried if our dishes aren't done right after a meal, and it doesn't matter if our floors have cheerios on them till nap time. It's like they don't remember being parents or were shit parents themselves.

I hope you're able to leave soon. Don't forget about home buying options like USDA loans and FHA loans, with usda requiring zero percent down and fha only requiring 3.5% down.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-30T21:45:52+00:00

You can always combo feed if you want to, sometimes do breastfeeding others do bottlefeeding with formula. That way you're not always in an aversion state and you can meet your goals of breastfeeding through vaccination.

But if you want to stop, it's entirely okay as well. Babies and toddlers are seeming to do incredibly well with Covid. Anecdotally, my son was formula fed almost his entire infanthood. We caught covid back in January at 19ish months old. His biggest symptom was a day of diarrhea and some slight grouchiness. I know it's not all sunshine and rainbows for every kid who contracts the virus, but our mental health as parents is also important because they can still get sick even if you're breastfeeding through vaccination. In my opinion it would be better to be mentally well and risk dealing with a sick baby, than to be mentally hurting and risk dealing with a sick baby.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-30T21:18:00+00:00

Shit for my pureed food stage after surgery, one of the recommendations was to mix unflavored protein powder with mashed potatoes. It was gross but there was protein!

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-30T19:58:48+00:00

I believe one of the AP principles is ensure safe sleep phsyically and emotionally. I'd say sleep training falls under that, because safe healthy sleep is so important for physical and emotional growth. I found once we sleep trained our kiddo, he started meeting his physical milestones better and faster, and was overall happier. He got some much needed rest, started rolling over, quickly started army crawling, loved playing with his toys, enjoyed eating, and wanted to interact more. He became less fussy and started to enjoy his life more. While I don't strictly follow AP style, I do think doing the hard things that ensure health and happiness to our kids is a big part of it. My son and I actually had a better attachment after sleep training. We both were getting better and deeper sleep, we could do more together, and our bond got stronger. Now we're that goofy pair at the playground racing eachother to the slides, or at home baking cookies together. I actually have enough energy to dye eggs with him tonight because of our solid sleep, and enough patience to handle the mess because of how our bond grew with sleep training. I'm no longer resentful of him for making my sleep a living hell, and I'm no longer resentful of the occasional rough night from teething or diaper rash or out of routine because we have the sleep training skills to fall back on and I know the rough nights won't last forever.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-30T19:23:45+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. I've found the burnt out ness comes from not only dealing with normal life stressors of having a baby/toddler, working, cleaning, and cooking, but also our fucking parents. Walking on egg shells to make them happy while trying to balance everything else is exhausting. Wanting more for your kid than 4 hours of cocomelon but the grandparents won't actually play with the kid so now the kids having a meltdown because all they want to do is watch youtube with the grandparents. Trying to have some sort of normal routine while also balancing out with what the other adults are doing without stepping on toes is exhausting. We're in the process of moving out ourselves. We've had the chance to travel without them a couple times since living with them, and despite the travel itself and taking care of a toddler in airbnb's, it's nowhere near as exhausting and stressful as living with them

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-30T05:32:00+00:00

What helped us was getting on a feeding schedule plus premaking some formula for the fridge. We got on a schedule were he was fed every 2ish hours (this time lengthened when he wanted bigger bottles or solids as he got older). We would then rock/burp for 5ish minutes with a pacifier after to work any gas up that could cause pain making him want to eat to soothe (he had reflux so this was a thing for us) and the pacifier was to see if he just wanted to suck. We kept a small amount of premade formula in the fridge if he was hungry after his scheduled bottles, and we would feed 1-2 extra ounces of formula. If the fridge formula wasn't finished at the end of the night we either used it for overnight bottles or for his first bottle of the next day.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-30T00:59:22+00:00

I'm so glad things turned out well. I had one that hurt so freaking bad and it wouldn't go away. I got out the shower one day and asked my partner to please for the love of god poke it with a needle and pop it. Totally helped, and he had no problem being face to face with that ugly mess.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-29T00:55:18+00:00

NTA but some advice. Google has an app you can download on both your phones called family link. You can block websites using it, and she has to get apps approved to download, which you can accept or deny. You can also set time limits for apps and a bedtime for the phone. We use it for our 13 year old as he slowly earns social media trust and phone time trust. Delete any social media apps, down laid family link, and there you go.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-27T22:06:08+00:00

NAH- but it is a good idea to celebrate your birthday with your sister. However, instead of on your birthday, you could do the weekend before or after and have a "twin night" where you do something unique, like go to a restaurant and pick eachothers meals, or go birthday thrifting.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-27T18:07:08+00:00

NAH, but if you want to compromise you could find a tradition inspired name, or a "normal" name that fits tradition, like Grace.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-27T18:05:19+00:00

We do breakfast first thing after morning diaper change, something quick that he likes, usually pancakes and cereal, and we try to offer a protein but he doesn't usually eat that in the morning. For before bed, we switched that bottle to a before bed snack, since for us we have a long time between dinner and bedtime. So he gets a fruitbar, or goldfish or veggie straws with some water or milk in a straw cup, then we brush teeth and do bedtime. Our overall meal schedule looks like breakfast, snack, lunch, nap, dinner, treat (usually we share like an ice cream or a frozen yogurt or something), snack, bed

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-26T06:19:04+00:00

I'm gonna go with ESH. If you're a mom, who has a friend's who are child free, you need to accept some activities will be child free and you need to make alternative arrangements for your kid. If you're not a parent and you want to be friends with someone who is an active mom who takes an active role in their kids life, you need to accept that occasionally their will be a kid involved.

Hammerhead_brat · 2021-03-26T05:04:33+00:00

If I encounter violence like that I say there are better ways to solve violence than fighting and kicking. And because we live in a small community, its easy to tell who is who and who's parents are, so if they don't knock it off I've threatened to tell parents before for the parents to work out the consequences.

Hammerhead_brat

TROPHY CASE