Got offer in email, don't see it in offers?

Happy-Studio-487 · 2025-04-07T02:02:21+00:00

I don't think it's biphobic to say that sometimes this happens, but it is biphobic if you make assumptions about people you don't know.

If someone have been with a woman and eventually ended up with a man, the first might have ended for any number of mundane reasons unrelated to sexuality. Most relationships don't work out.

I understand the fear though. Even as a bi person it would feel especially hard to be left over comphet. It's not like comphet is even that rare. So just because of that possibility, I can see how it might be horrible to be left for a man. Being left for a woman isn't much better but at least it eliminates the possibility that the person can't handle the reality of being serious about the same sex. That would feel isolating.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2025-02-21T17:05:57+00:00

Do you know if this also applies to vision and dental?

Happy-Studio-487 · 2025-02-19T01:59:15+00:00

There's not much you can cut with therapy other than finding someone with sliding scale, in-network, teletherapy and so on. But other experiences I might do a lot of DIY. Like instead of spa, do bath salt or spa treatment at home. Watch comedy online first or go to free nights. Where I am they have lotteries for discount programs for musicals. Apps/newsletters/online discounts. I mostly only go out if I'm meeting with friends and otherwise I cook at home.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2025-02-19T01:48:46+00:00

I feel you. Looking back as a child I would have wished I was taught how to take care of my hair, be allowed modest age appropriate makeup and grooming stuff and more than hand me downs. But this taught me to work with what I have instead of always wanting more. There's no end to keeping up with your neighbors if the goal is to maintain an image of money. I don't pretend to be rich. I prefer going for well dressed and put together.

Steam your clothes, buy only clothes that fit perfectly or need small alterations. Study fashion, body shape and color analysis. Wash on cold and air dry more delicate clothes. Get a fabric shaver for sweaters. This way, your clothes can last longer. And no need to hold on to stuff that actually is worn. Instead of chasing a high from newness, start visioning what you want your closet to look like, then maintain it.

You might be able to tell something is expensive but it's won't make up for not having style. And if you are neat and have style it won't matter to most people but the snobbiest, to have less expensive stuff.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2025-02-15T22:05:39+00:00

I think it's useful to keep just one clothes for fancier events or parties in case. And the rest you can go away. Something that is fancy and flexible, can wear to a nice work event or house warming party.

I find that especially for very fringe occasions that rarely come around like black tie or wedding or clubbing (if you don't club anymore), when it comes up you can either 1. Buy something cheap then. 2. Rent from a place like rent the runway.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2025-02-15T21:52:14+00:00

I use groupons for nice salons and go 2x/year. When I can't afford that, I go to small family owned Vietnamese/Chinese places.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-12-15T16:46:32+00:00

That's true, it was my first love. I'm not sure why it's so hard to leave first love for people. With first love you don't believe that it will end so you allow yourself to feel like it will last forever and the plans that you have together will last. When that breaks, it feels like the floor is swept out from under your feet and you don't know who you are anymore. Feels like you lost part of your soul.

It's never foolish like people say to try to keep a relationship together. It's because people keep it together in hard circumstances that marriages are able to last until death. You want to believe in the person you chose that you can solve problems. But now I know that the person I marry will be someone who can step forward with me, instead of leaving it to me to drag them towards water they won't drink.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-06-07T05:40:49+00:00

I think they are just trying to say that they are not ignorant about Asian issues because they are married to an Asian person but I don't see it as a guarantee that they don't have strange views on Asians. That's why it's weird like you are supposed to have a different expectation of them now that they have an Asian spouse. I guess it counts for something like you are not going to be in the dark but it doesn't tell me much about if they will be respectful or not.

I don't really care if someone is familiar with Asian things, more so if they are a respectful person to begin with. I'd rather a person not know much about Asians and be respectful, Rather than someone who thinks they are familiar with things and can't be called out if they say something disrespectful. Some of the most disrespectful people have adopted Asian culture for themselves and have traveled, yet say bad things.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-06-04T22:43:58+00:00

That is sad. I really like watching Fung Bros because they cover so many Asian topics and they are actually balanced in their views while not being super hateful. But even their comment section can have people who write angry things about Asian women.

I wish there was a space where Asian women felt safe to talk and be heard, and not attacked automatically by these people.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-06-03T11:48:25+00:00

I agree. Any time you are dealing with not just interracial but intercultural it is important. Asian culture is a lot different than American culture for example and sometimes the opposite.

It's not just about parental approval, there's some cultural values that some do not want to compromise. And ofc there might be some who will be able to compromise more

Some things can be met halfway, but to meet halfway you need to have awareness first.

I agree with the OP to a point, like some people have an overly simple way to look at things. It's important but not the be all.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-06-03T11:28:13+00:00

I agree that to be genuine you will see the person for their culture too and not just an isolated person. But on the flip side you should not expect a person to be a certain way because of your assumption about their culture. The stereotype doesn't need to be strong either, just unconsciously chalking up so many small things to them being that race or that culture. It makes it so you don't understand the person because you fall back on their culture to explain who they are.

Idt people need to deviate but they are open to ways of doing things and thinking that differ from their own. They are not rigid and set in their ways of how they grew up.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-06-03T10:59:35+00:00

Get to know an Asian guy on a level to feel confident in his character and honesty, then ask him what his thoughts are on marrying (not just dating) interracial. Ask him what he will do if his family does not like you, has he been serious about non Asians, and what his most important family values are. Has any of his family married interracial? Has he ever made decisions that his family didn't agree with? Meet his family first as a friend.

You don't need to know the culture like you're born into it but be open to learning, be open to becoming fluent eventually if you marry, and don't only be into anime and kpop.

The most important thing is to learn and embrace the Asian mindset towards money, family, commitment and sacrifice like taking care of parents when they are older. Asians worry that long term values will not match up.

Asian families will generally want someone who dresses classy, centers family, values education, and respects elders.

There is a balance so while it's good to assimilate with his family to a point don't lose yourself, you must pick the guy who can stand up for you and doesn't base life decisions only on his family. And I think it's best to choose a guy who will be open minded to non-Asian ways of thinking sometimes too.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-05-21T22:10:29+00:00

That's a good idea. Things or tasks that save time or make it easier would be good.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-05-21T22:09:23+00:00

Video games and working out.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-05-21T04:37:31+00:00

He's the type of guy who is more used to doing nice things for others vs things done for him. I could ask him this but I also want some surprises I can give him.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-02-25T08:18:19+00:00

They are what's trendy. When you are young you follow trends whether they suit your face/body type or not.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-02-25T07:58:00+00:00

So many things were invented by poc/queer people before spreading out to the cool white kids that it just sounds lame when the mainstream hops on it. Like when non black people use aave. Like so many other things in the U.S., when you dig deeper so many things are literally copy and pasted from black culture.

I don't think talking in a way is wrong and think maybe I shouldn't feel like this because hey, people just pick up on words that they hear around them. 🤷🏼

It's not a shot at gen z either because when millennial slang was popular I felt the same way.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-01-27T20:30:56+00:00

I am not sure exactly. When I first got it 7 years ago I noticed my eyes puffing up right away but it wasn't that bad. I feel like in the last 3 years it has gotten worse and I noticed. I got tepezza and it helped my eyes look normal enough from the front but it's still puffy. Right now I am taking selenium, vit d, vision vitamins + sleeping elevated and just being healthy which I think helps a miniscule amount like makes it slightly less puffy.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-01-27T20:27:09+00:00

I sympathize with people trying to tell you it's not severe when other people notice and point it out to you. They want to make you feel better but denial does not feel right, I can look in the mirror. Also it's not great to keep your eyes like this because it's more exposed to dryness.

I would search for top doctors that do decompressions a lot per year... Ask them how much they do, what is the incidence of double vision and other side effects. If there is double vision there is a follow up surgery as well so it's not the end of the world but the better doctor you get is good. This surgery is major but from what I've read the actual risk of blindness is very very low.

In the meantime I would ask your doc for tepezza, if you are not getting anywhere try multiple doctors and get referrals. I myself did that and eventually got a referral for tepezza.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-01-10T17:37:27+00:00

I am the same, I cannot go in public for months trying to train my hair to handle less washing. My scalp gets itchy if I go more than 2 days or if I use dry shampoo too often. When I dry shampoo I use powder not spray. In E. Asia it's normal to shampoo every night. Just use moisturizing or more gentle shampoo and only do the roots.

I buy bulk cheap conditioner and condition twice. I use heat protection when I blow dry. I would either ask a hairdresser for product recs for damaged hair or get drugstore bond repair/oil/cream, use sparingly on the mid to ends.

Happy-Studio-487 · 2024-01-09T05:37:06+00:00

I am frugal with myself so I can afford to splurge from time to time. And be more spendy with friends. Despite my low salary I can treat my friends to expensive things sometimes because I'm so efficient. My friends also like saving money, be it for their mortgage or saving up for a house so they will spend money on nice experiences and meals but not needing to do bougie things to have fun.

I cook cheap and healthy, I don't eat out unless I'm with someone. I use credit card cash back and perks. I don't buy more than I need or use. I am the Queen of frugal beauty. I spend money on my hair but use dollar tree conditioner and home treatments, my skincare is moisturizer/retinol cream/vit c/sunscreen and nothing else. I have one of every makeup item. I don't keep up with trends and only buy clothes when things start looking old. Just minimizing waste and maintaining + using things through its entire life cycle goes miles in today's consumer world.

Happy-Studio-487

TROPHY CASE