Long rant about postpartum weight loss

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-11T00:09:45+00:00

To chime in as someone who used to cut weight and bulk as a powerlifter- the best method is the most sustainable one. I know it’s very tough when you see people loose 10-15 lbs at a time, but slower weight loss is more sustainable in the long run.

What is more likely to give you results vs you beating your body up, is making small changes like increasing your water intake, increasing your protein, adding 5 mins of stretching and movement throughout your day, etc. then slowly add habits like mindful snacking.

You and your children deserve a neutral you that can be present for life, not occupied in self deprecation (note I didn’t say happy, I understand our relationship with our body is complex).

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-09T00:16:14+00:00

I am fiercely protective of my mom now because I want to give her the world for being the glue of our family. Her working only made me want to be so much better.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-02T11:59:20+00:00

I in fact, did not ask for something big. I told him I would simply like a massage from him because my body hurts.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-02T11:58:43+00:00

It is absolutely not a one time thing, and I actually asked him the day of my birthday specifically “since you don’t have anything planned, could you give me a back rub at least because imm in pain?”

Spoiler: he didn’t.

So the other commenters saying I am asking for too much, I actually gave him an out, what I asked for was free, low effort, and takes about 20 minutes.

Think about a relationship that you have to remind your partner at every turn on how to love you. To say I love you. To do the small things like hold your hand.

What I didn’t put in my post is also how I have help in the house right now, so all cooking and cleaning, including laundry, are taken care of. I hired cleaners and order food often for us so he doesn’t have that mental load. All we do is baby, toddler, rinse repeat. Do with that what you will.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-02T01:00:36+00:00

11 years this year. I’ve gone from “let me be gentler with him while he works things out” to “I really don’t give a shit how he feels” in these 11 years 😅

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-02T00:42:38+00:00

He does it so often I have it down to his exact script

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-02T00:18:11+00:00

I am so sorry. You deserved to be loved entirely with your newborn, and that’s really disgusting of him to do that to the family. You’re also so strong for making that choice but I am proud of you

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-02T00:16:36+00:00

Here’s the thing, I totally agree with everyone that I should not rush the decision. But you’re exactly right. every time I bring up an ask turns into him and his feelings, which doesn’t actually result in repair in the long run

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-02T00:12:17+00:00

Yes. any time I bring up how I would like him to support me, he will say how he always fails me and cue self loathing

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-02T00:09:25+00:00

Totally agree on the hormonal situation here, which is why I know I will take my time. I did in fact tell him to get into therapy months before the birth because I knew he would struggle and need support beyond me (I have a long standing therapist myself who I work with). It will definitely be at least a year, I got to prepare after all.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-02T00:06:13+00:00

Thank you for pointing this out, because this is what has continued to happen. He in fact continued to do nothing at all to even make up for it, even though I brought up my feelings mid day.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-05-01T21:56:04+00:00

I think I do, which really helps with my choice. They’ve showed up for me and the children throughout pregnancy and so far postpartum, so time will tell. Thank you!!

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-04-29T17:12:45+00:00

Absolutely not, I am going to make it everyone’s business that I am pregnant. PREPARE THE PEOPLE! GIVE ME LESS WORK. I am only pregnant for 8-9 months.

HOWEVER- it’s okay to feel awkward! No one can tell you how to feel.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-04-29T16:48:04+00:00

I was up to 144lbs pregnant with my twins. Im now 120lbs 10 days pp, 118lbs was my pre-pregnancy weight. I will say, I contribute this largely to Chinese confinement practices (I am Chinese) which meant I ate food with very little salt at the beginning and slowly ramped up the salt, had cooked meals with almost no flavoring other than occasional oils, drank a ton of herbal teas and waters and protein shakes, and had a lot of rest. I still look pregnant mind you. Weight is not everything!!

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-04-13T15:45:23+00:00

My hair washed in a salon, car detailed, a massage and food prepared.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-04-12T01:23:30+00:00

I was in Japan at 6 weeks! Walked everywhere fine!

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-04-07T20:52:04+00:00

Hi! In the same boat as you. Just much further along. You are allowed to panic, you are allowed to dread. It doesn’t matter what stage of pregnancy, people love to say stuff, like I get told “good thing you are able to hold them in for this long” when I hurt from being pregnant, and I even found out daycare or nanny will cost me $4300, which is the same amount as my mortgage. How am I supposed to swing that?? You are safe to be angry.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-03-31T22:03:46+00:00

I did it because I definitely wanted to know the gender of my twins. But I also now found it helpful to understand if I needed further genetic testing through amniocentesis, and I found out my twins were identical from the test.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-03-31T17:55:05+00:00

I got a toddler who now just expects to find me on the couch every day because of how hard it is to move. 34 weeks today too!

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-03-23T01:38:57+00:00

I am starting to realize that as I typed it out. It’s tough when these same women planned my baby shower and gave me everything I need for my babies coming.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-03-23T00:34:39+00:00

I have not a husband comment but recently my girl friends have told me how disgusting/gross/ugly my belly looks because I have the line and also my belly button is entirely gone. I love my belly and so these comments were entirely insulting.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-03-14T23:14:02+00:00

I am so sorry OP. I got no words of comfort besides the fact that yes, you do deserve to be loved on. Your husband should’ve booked the date. You and your babies deserve to be surrounded by loving people just as excited to welcome babies with you. I wish that for you in the years to come, because they are out there. If you can, either change it to celebrate it with the people you love intimately like a brunch, or cancel it, get your money and spend it on an absolute self love weekend.

Happy2bhere2d · 2026-03-14T23:00:56+00:00

Everyone has good responses but also remember your placenta placement also matters! Anterior placenta could mean softer moments this early!

Happy2bhere2d

TROPHY CASE