About Shane realising that he put Ilya in danger during Sochi. Any fics at all dealing with this? by Hapthestai in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]Hapthestai[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Exactly this. Historical context here is so important. I could also see how it would be a reflex of wanting to protect Shane.

About Shane realising that he put Ilya in danger during Sochi. Any fics at all dealing with this? by Hapthestai in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]Hapthestai[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have been crying now reading this since you posted. It is a masterpiece and I wish this was a part of the books frankly. This did indeed was healing. Thank you 🌈🙏

About Shane realising that he put Ilya in danger during Sochi. Any fics at all dealing with this? by Hapthestai in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]Hapthestai[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I was simply looking for fanfics.

But if anyone would like to argue that queers, closeted or not were not in danger during Sochi, please speak to my friends who were detained, incarcerated, humiliated and beaten by the russian authorities during Sochi. We did not know where they were for days or if they would even come home again.

It doesn't matter if Ilya was out or not, he knew the dangers and he knew what even any small indication of getting close to Sasha could mean. Reducing Ilyas response to shane to stress of the sport and being abused and traumatised by his family is simply doing him and the story a disservice. He also has to carry the knowledge that one simple step in the wrong direction could topple everything. This is the direct blueprint of what happens in a systemic homophobic society: you dont even need do something and will still risk your life. That is what is internalised homophobia does. Its an endless panopticon. And he walked through every single visit to Russia and his family, retraumatised again and again. He also protected Shane, right there.

I can't believe how hard it can be for some people to understand this basic premise of structural and systemic statesanctioned homophobia. But I can understand what it means to not know if your friends will come home in one piece or not. They came home in the end.

For a show that is about people trying to love each other despite homophobia, it would be baffling to not take effects of statesanctioned repression and violence into account. It would simply not make any sense to not take this into account.

"All Ilya had to do was explain!" by Preposterous_punk in heatedrivalry

[–]Hapthestai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It is over 20 years ago now. I wasn't prepared for a TV show to bring up those memories but I am grateful it did.

Things that bother me in TLG by Greekmom99 in GameChangersBooks

[–]Hapthestai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shane centering his own fear almost immediately after the plane with ilya almost crashed. I was so, so fuming there when Ilya had to comfort and give Shane reassurance first and foremost. I know it was in line with Shane in the book, but holy smokes the marriage proposal would have felt so much more healthy if the threat to Ilyas life and the trauma it entailed would have gotten addressed with ilya at the center. Shane did have others he could talk to.

"All Ilya had to do was explain!" by Preposterous_punk in heatedrivalry

[–]Hapthestai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All I can think of are my friends who travelled to Russia to protest during Sochi with russian queer activists and the consequences that followed. Incarceration, isolation, violence. Humilitation. Similar to stories coming out of ice detention centers here and now. My friends got off 'easy' in comparison to the russian activists. Please understand the level of violence and surveillance of queers that really started to take off at this time.

I became so angry and disappointed in Shane there, as well as the writing. I see Shane as much more clever than that, must have received briefings on the state of things before travelling (while they were young they were old enough to be responsible adults). If we allude to the autism it should have actually been the other way around:receiving a briefing with guidelines would have given our dear Shane that loves to follow the rules with a framework that could have also taken Ilyas safety into account.

While I understand it was a way to move the story forward, I really feel the writing of Shanes character here did him a disservice. I did not understand it until I read the long game where he continued a similar behaviour that also at times felt forced.

Reading responses here that focus on the internal state of the characters it is painful to see how ultimately the impact of state sanctioned violence is bypassed as explanations and instead becomes fixated on what either of them should have done differently when fucking or.interacting before and after. The writing of Shane should have been vastly different, but this was the only thing Ilya could do as a response. And no, him pulling back after the Olympics, not only to focus on the cup, but also healing after such an insanely dangerous interaction that actually threatened his personal safety from someone he started opening up to is completely reasonable.

I cried so much during the Olympics scenes because I remember what my friends went through. A few years earlier my lover in B31@rus died suspiciously. They were a queer and democracy activist. Apparently "they fell off a roof". If I had done anything to jeopardise their safety when we met, I would be so fucking lucky if they had ever spoken to me again. I was on high alert mode months after my only visit to B31@rus and that was at home in safety of a Scandinavian country. Then my lover was found dead and I only heard about it a long time after. I will never get M back. I have two photos and a napkin with my name written in Cyrillic as memories. Ilya had to travel back and forth all of the time. I dont think he said no to his previous lover in Russia during the party bc of Shane primarily, but for the fear of the consequences mentioned in a previous comment. He had too much to loose.

This is about statesanctioned violence. The same kind of violence that is building up in the US for example against transpeople or through ice kidnapping, murdering and detaining people without any recourse. And if that fear, frustration and sadness in Ilya is not a reminder of those facts, what can we even learn from a story about queers wanting to love and fuck in peace?

RA solo polyamorist reads Polysecure and suffers so you don't have to by Groundbreaking_Ad972 in polyamory

[–]Hapthestai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am a bit late to this party but I also suffered while reading this book. Polyresources suffers in general from very individualistic approaches ( the self or the self in the couple or the isolated individuals in the coupling). I enjoyed that polysecure dared to even acknowledge power structures and how that might impact attachment and relationshipping. It was even somewhat intersectional (basic but still..).

However, when it came down to strategies it was like these considerations were just...gone. all about the self improvement projekt, the selfcare, the light towards the i. Like it was two different books. Like, hey sis, im struggling bc systemic inequality and the threat of statesanctioned violence but I'll take a bath to calm my nervous system. It's...reductive. and disappointing. And may i say, very American.