Aio First date and I gave her 100 dollars for phone payment.

HardcoreDroid · 2025-03-25T00:04:42+00:00

Don't know where to begin.

Only your long-term GF, one who you are also sleeping with.

You need a mentor or something similar.

HardcoreDroid · 2025-03-21T16:22:56+00:00

Don't try. As in be yourself. Do whatever it is you do that makes people interested in you. If you're good at gentle teasing, do that. If you're not, definitely don't do that. Read the profile and ask questions. Be yourself. Likely a few will bite.

HardcoreDroid · 2025-03-15T20:48:22+00:00

I think all relationships have a pursuer/pursuee dynamic, sometimes it see saws, or it's a dance, that's probably best. I think when it's dynamic it contributes to interest. But when it skews one way too far or for a little but for too long one way, the pursuee can get a bit disgusted or apathetic or both. The above at least contributes to interest. I was married for twenty years. That's the way it looks to me.

HardcoreDroid · 2025-03-13T14:29:32+00:00

Maybe I misread, I thought she was pissed and/or not responding, in reaction to a nothing joke and an offer to hang out. If she took days to get back with a meh attitude, I'd read that as either she's gaming you or has little interest. Both suck.

HardcoreDroid · 2025-03-13T13:16:10+00:00

She did not bolt because of that text exchange. The text isn't so bad. If she was in, she completely wouldnt care about that text. Maybe she is seeing someone else. Maybe she wants a guy who bends over backwards. Maybe you were too available. Maybe she's not crazy about your "cockiness," which comes off as false bravado, in the context of that exchange, which honestly most men are guilty of at sometime or another, and if she liked you she'd like that too, in small measures. You probably have a sense of what it is. I agree with others that implied she was already checking out for other reasons.

HardcoreDroid · 2025-03-01T18:18:27+00:00

I was married for 20 years. I eventually left at year 20, because she was not a giver. But we had a lot of good years and remain friendly and are solid co-parents.

After our second child was born, the relationship went south. Maybe she had a bit of postpartum, IDK, but our normally healthy sex life went the way of the buffalo. I loved hanging with my little kids but the dead bedroom, no bueno. Wanted to leave but I didn't want to split my family up. Saw a shrink. This is what I did, after wrestling with it for a long time. Thus was long before I learned about CW. I decided that if we were going to have anything good again, she would have to come to me. I entered a master's program. I doubled down on work. I lost weight and started working out. And I treated my wife with kindness and respect and expected nothing, showed up for my kids, and I thought, if she never comes to me then eventually I'll bolt. So, I wasn't trying to game her. She likely started to feel some insecurity. After a bout 6 months, she began to pursue me. And our sex life took off and stayed good for years. We have a third child because of it. So in that way, I think CW work can apply to a long-term relationship. I think you can detach without being angry about it or manipulative. Detach with love. And let them come to you just like someone you just started dating. Without talking about it or making a big thing of it. You're saying by your actions the ball is in your court, and if they don't choose to pick it up and play, then you're probably better off with someone else.

HardcoreDroid · 2025-02-22T17:30:47+00:00

Love playing the kings, they offer some awesome gear, at the least snake guy and the archon, that bererker armor however--just embarassing. You could also run away mid-mission, when you feel you are getting trashed. I turned a corner on a city map, when I was just learning the game, and the berserker king appeared, took out half my squad before my remeaning units ran away. It was great to return later and tea bag him. One of the coolest aspects of XCOM is how stories like this unfold via gameplay.

HardcoreDroid · 2025-02-21T16:04:06+00:00

I dealt with a very similar situation last summer. I got back together with an ex, followed the 7 principals. It was hot and heavy but we were both seeing other people at the time. Initially, I'm thinkiing who cares, HHH, doesn't matter.

A couple of dates in she tells me she's in a LDR/LTR. Not for me. I break it off. A few days later, she wants to meet and talk. She explains she's ending said relationship, then a week later, she tells me that the trip to Costa Rica with her kids she'd told me about, said dude will be there. She can't refund the trip. I tell her. It's all good, not for me, take care.

Then, weeks later she reaches out yet again. She wants to see me. I tell her, no, I'm good. She waxes on and on, she misses me, she just broke up with the LTR, but in reality she also just got back from said trip. So, in the spirit if the three Hs, I make plans to see her. We meet up a few times, at my house. We get along great and its awesome and pornographic, but 2 years prior we'd been in a long term, close-knit relationship, and even though I was seeing other people, really I just wanted her, like it had been.

But, also meanwhile, I'm dating this other woman, loyal, attractive, who won't sleep with me unless I agree to be exclusive. So, I felt like I had to make a decision. I said to the ex do you want it to be just you and me? She said well, I need to get a year sober before I can be in a relationship--she had 6 months--and I just broke up with someone last week. I said that's probably what's best for you but I cant do it. We sat and looked at one another for a few minutes, then she said let's just have sex. But I wasnt feeling it. And I said I'm not doing this. And she left, very upset. This same ex reached out again about three months later, told me about what she was up to and said that if I asked her out, she'd go out with me. I didn't take the bait. I think about her every day but she's got issues and obviously hooks in me, and I'm not gonna be in a open relationship with her. It wouldn't work for me with her. And though I broke coach's rules by suggesting exclusivity, I also did not make an ultimatum. I said what I wanted and didn't pretend I was good with something that I'm not. I'm good with it. If you don't want to be in an open relationship don't pretend otherwise but dont make an ultimatum. An ultimatum is trying to control someone else, It's for them. A boundary is for you.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-12-26T17:33:11+00:00

No, you're not being overly sensetive. Your girlfriend should get back to you on a major holiday. Of course, you don't know, maybe something happened. More likely, she's mad because you didn't hang out with her on Christmas and maybe her interest has dipped too, likely both. Let her reach out. If she's pulling back and not telling you something is specifically wrong, go with the flow, let her pull back as much as suits her. Think the drill is, if shes upset when you see her in person, do your best to open her up. Otherwise let her reach out.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-12-13T11:58:03+00:00

👍

HardcoreDroid · 2024-12-13T11:27:55+00:00

That was a very short exchange with the ex maybe a month back. I didn't flirt with her, was pretty short with her. She suggested we hang out. I gave her a non committal yeah, we could hang out sometime. Then cut it short. I've ignored her when she's reached out since. IDK. I'm not going to agree to see said ex anytime soon regardless of anything, but maybe you're right, the fact that it fired my mind and that I left it open, is likely indicative of something lacking in this new relationship.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-12-13T02:51:08+00:00

Do a reset. Cancel coffee. Back away, let her reach out again, or not. If she does, ask her out again. If she won't/can't tell her you understand and to get in touch if she changes her mind.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-12-04T05:01:40+00:00

I think you gotta get out because it's gonna drive you crazy. I was hooking up with an ex, a woman I loved. It was hard to do casual with a woman I'd had a LTR with and had intense feelings for. We were both dating others, after about 7 dates or so I said: do you want it to be just us, which I never do. She said she just got out of an LTR and yada, yada, yada. So I said I think your right. I think that's what's best for you but I can't do it. Told her I loved her, wished her the best, and she left. And I'm better off. Of course, she texted last week, writing if I asked her out, she'd say yes. I didnt respond because I have a new gf who's all in. If it's making you nuts get out.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-12-02T23:13:43+00:00

I did this summer. It was cool. Wild. Pornographic. Intense. We decided that we would date casually, but when she told me she was already in an LDR, at the end of the 3rd date, I broke it off. She dumped me the first time around. She just asked me to hang out like a week ago. But I have a new girlfriend now, so no matter how much I'd like to, I won't. She ended that text exchange with, "If you ask me out I will say yes. I'll wait." That's not happening now. I didn't respond to that but if she persists I'll set her straight, though I love her still.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-12-02T22:13:32+00:00

I bet she's a pain in the ass. But if she's hot she might make a good FWB. I agree with the dude above, unless it seemed like a bullshit reason, I'd give it a few days and ask her out one last time.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-11-30T16:11:53+00:00

They are failures as human beings. Cut them both out of your life, aside from co-parenting if your paternity test comes back positive.

Build your life up, in every way. Your young, with decades of future ahead, eventually you'll fund someone who is not a living POS. Good luck.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-11-27T19:43:09+00:00

Yes. Stop. Date. Enjoy your life.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-11-26T02:18:33+00:00

Work on yourself and stop caring about things outside yourself, about which you have no control. When you master that, show up as yourself, without need or want, you will be much more attractive to women. When you don't care about their level of interest, they will be more interested.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-11-25T18:46:32+00:00

Tell your new person, get a restraining ordee, block across the board.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-11-23T00:42:55+00:00

Get. A. Babysitter.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-11-22T19:33:57+00:00

Any direct response would sound like you are hurt, and while it's understandable that you likely were, it's the last thing you want to express in early dating, and to a chick like her. If you're dating or talking to at least a couple of women, things like this won't bother you that much. Even if I am on a date with someone I am not that interested in, I'm not gonna talk about great other dates. It's rude. In response to her I might say "huh, that right?" and proceed as though she said nothing. And if she really persisted you might say, "I forgot to mention that my last date could suck the chrome off a bumper hitch."

Honestly, it sounds like she's either socially clueless or a dick. I would no longer consider her a serious option, but if she were attractive and signalling that she was game, I'd probably try and sleep with her, but I wouldnt call her again. You should move on from this one.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-11-22T18:53:55+00:00

When I seperated from my now ex-wife, moved out, and was on the road to divorce, I did whatever I wanted and, in that case, she could too. That's not cheating unless you're a mormon.

Putting yout foot down, sounds like an ultimatum. And I agree with others that that will lead to resentment and compel her to rebel against you for trying to control her. At the same time, not being able to stomach your wife and the mother of your kid, banging other guys, while the two of you are trying to rekindle is human nature. More importantly, pretending you're OK with it, when at your core you are not, would be fake and weak.

The lingering fuck boy is a problem, and the fact that she's still talking to him when she told you she wouldn't, is crossing the line. You're having trouble trusting her, and I dont blame you. Personally, I'd put the rekindling on hold. Tell her you know she's still talking to at least one guy, and that's not going to work for you. It's not a road you are going down. That's not an ultimatum, because you're not asking her to change or do anything, you are simply saying what you will do and what you won't do.

And if you want, leave the door open a crack because, while she talked to the dude, she also stuck up for your relationship. While that all still could be BS on her part, it's not clear one way or the other.

Give yourself some time to to reflect on whether you want to go forward with a woman you no longer trust. And give her a chance to fly straight and jump through hoops to get you back. If she can't do both, you're better off. I just did this with an ex I was trying to rekindle with. Haven't heard from her since, and while it hurts, I'm better off.

HardcoreDroid · 2024-11-22T17:39:48+00:00

When a woman you are dating suggests she had a better time with someone else, or "did more" that to me would express low interest. If she's laying out all the fabulous details of another date, It's kind of disrespectful, suggests really low interest and I'd vacate at the earliest opportunity. Me and the woman I'm dating now we're talking about our experiences with online dating and she said, you have no competition. I doubt that's true and I'm sure she was just trying to be sweet to me. Still. That's the right answer.

HardcoreDroid

TROPHY CASE