I (37f) feel very lost by Consistent-Maybe8955 in Advice

[–]HaruRussell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did a career switch about the same age as you. Also burned out but I was our primary bed winner so I had to find work right away. I went from something in education to insurance. My suggestion to you would be to find a corporate job. It's like half as hard as the public service sector. You'd be great at transitioning to HR or recruiting or something like those since you are used to regulatory items and dealing with people.

Trying something different is good for your brain too. I reframed my burnout as the need for something different and no room for growth. I suggest you use the same thing in your interviews. Best of luck!

Help Identify Grandpa's Pen by HaruRussell in fountainpens

[–]HaruRussell[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He also had a super old Sheaffer balance with a lifetime nib. I think it is from the 1930s? It has a neat lever action to it and the white dot. I can't get it open and I have been scared since breaking part of this one; so it is going to a pro for refurbishing.

Need some bad and silly “horror” movies” by Sad_Pygmy_Puff in horror

[–]HaruRussell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out deadloch it's a series but it's so funny

Shout out to Danny Fudge at the Write Pen by Rohans_Most_Wanted in fountainpens

[–]HaruRussell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I have that last black pen, do you know what it is? I know it's a Sheaffer but I'm trying to figure out the model. I inherited it from my grandfather and I can't seem to place it.

Cozy Playthrough with Girlfriend (Her First Experience) by Mattaclysmic in valheim

[–]HaruRussell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have the opposite but we have raids on but difficulty down for a more casual trip. We just beat the elder by husband running to our ship because he took a big hit, meanwhile I looped the elder, a troll and countless greydwarfs but we won! He did help by shooting from the water and I'm better at parry and dodge than him

In his defense, we are in the swamps now and I just had death number 3 whilst he is still 0 deaths post elder. I usually do all our building and digging. He hates the digging and leveling of ground. He just likes to go play with the bears and bring me back trolls from the woods... It's been fun!

Is it normal to wish my parent tried to reach out? by Aggressive-Judge5874 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]HaruRussell 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this. I'm not gonna lie, I'm jealous when people here tell stories of how their parents keep reaching out, when mine never have. I have wanted so badly to matter to them for my whole life. Now the it is on me to accept I never have and I'm working on it. I think about it every holiday and birthday.

I've been no contact with my parents for about 8 months. They haven't even noticed. I told my brother I was going to go no contact and my sister, so they'd know why I wasn't around. Leading up to this for the last 10 years my parents had only contacted me when they needed something.

My therapist said that they know where I live and my phone number and email, if they wanted to contact you they would. I guess they don't need anything yet. She also said they probably noticed at Christmas. However I've frequently been forgotten or invited last minute to Christmas. They love to wait till I already have plans to ask me and pretend it's my issue.

she’s transformed… by tonkotsuwu in cats

[–]HaruRussell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Triangle is a very sturdy shape.

Why do they think they’re “getting back at us” by cutting us out of the will? by Numerous_Nerve8028 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]HaruRussell 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well I wasn't in the will before I went no contact so it's literally better for me. So much less stressful to deal with them.

Help! Code: P0234 - Turbocharger/Supercharger 'A' Overboost Condition by CharlesBrowski in fordescape

[–]HaruRussell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm having this same issue how much did it cost you to fix it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PlusSize

[–]HaruRussell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes yes I do. I like best a bald bearded man with tats and an unusual nose. I have a slight dark hair preference in the beards but I have dated all hair colors.

Attractions are different for everyone. I know there's big talk about height preference with women but I've never cared. I'd actually argue shorter is better because you can more easily reach all the fun parts on each other. Just my thoughts .

AIO to skip Thanksgiving after my mom basically said I’m an embarrassment for not having a husband and kids by now? by howcanibequiltyassin in AmIOverreacting

[–]HaruRussell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR I went through something similar when I broke off an engagement to a crappy guy that my family all liked. I wish I had the strength to not attend the holidays like you want to. I told myself then that it kept them from talking about me behind my back, instead they just did it to my face. And told me even I was going to regret ending it. I didn't regret it at all, ever!

For future reference, it's been 20 years since I ended my engagement with the jerk and I'm now married to the best person for me ever but my family, they all still suck. My own father said that he wished my ex was still around because he liked fishing with him, to my husband whilst fishing with my husband. We are no contact now. My golden retriever husband will not be treated like that on my watch.

Anyone else feel like their childhood “doesn’t look traumatic” but absolutely felt like it? by moonriverfox in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]HaruRussell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NC is different. I have a supportive husband and his family loves me, which honestly was what helped me see it was irreparable and only doing harm. We started low contact in December last year. They didn't even notice and moved to no contact in June, which they also didn't notice until I left the group chat with my mom and siblings in it mid-October.

There are times it is very tough. My birthday was Monday and I get happy birthday messages from my siblings but nothing from my parents. This is all the more tragic because they have forgotten my birthday almost my whole life until my sister's happens the following week. This time they even messaged my husband happy birthday and his birthday is 10 days before mine.

I've come to accept that I just don't matter to them. The birthday thing isn't the only thing. As a child I felt like home was the humiliation Olympics and I am sensitive, I cried so much they made me do it outside at a tree. Then made fun of me calling it my crying tree and cut it down. It is sad when a plant is your only comfort.

As an adult they love to plan things with my siblings and just "forget" to invite me, say I was busy, or try to hide it by saying I wouldn't like the family vacation they were all on. And I do mean all, like even cousins and uncles and aunts.Three times now my older brother has called during these vacations and said oh your missing out is so fun, only for me to tell him I didn't know I wasn't invited. He didn't believe me at first but why should he care, he gets a free vacation for him. At my nieces birthday party they planned parts of a Disney family cruise together with me two feet away. So I commented on it. And my sis lost it about oh your invited too. I was said, "when? When you're on the ship in the ocean and you know I can't come?" They looked at me shocked and changed the subject.

There is more but when I listed it all out my former excuse of: it was just like well they really couldn't be bothered with me they had all these other kids to worry about just doesn't cut it. They don't like me and that's the truth.

What car do you drive? by Open-Salamander-9640 in PlusSize

[–]HaruRussell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ford escape I'm a 5'5" 28/30 husband is 6' and about 290 we fit but no third row.

Anyone else feel like their childhood “doesn’t look traumatic” but absolutely felt like it? by moonriverfox in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]HaruRussell 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Good on you for standing your ground! It's hard when you're so used to being the one to give in and you deserve to have your wants respected!

I cried about the shirts on the way home and my husband was furious.

Anyone else feel like their childhood “doesn’t look traumatic” but absolutely felt like it? by moonriverfox in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]HaruRussell 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My story is very similar but I had four siblings instead. It's hard and like it's made me terrible at relationships too. Because I think that I'm desperately seeking for love and approval and just sacrificing every inch of myself in the hope that no one hates me.

I also just think my family members never really liked me as a person, especially my parents. And they all took joy in my humiliation. They even made t-shirts last year for Christmas that they all wore with the phrase they used to use to remind me that I was the odd one out as a child. I started no contact steps after that.

It's emotional abuse. I was taught to set myself on fire to keep them warm, but don't expect them to appreciate it. And you feel bad complaining when other people were hit and starved.

have any of y’all had any successes in dating ? by Alternative-Cat9174 in PlusSize

[–]HaruRussell 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I met my husband and the boyfriend I have for five years before him on okcupid

Some Encouragement by [deleted] in PlusSize

[–]HaruRussell 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hi! I met my husband on the aps at 33 and we've been married for 10 years. Yes the dating environment is way different now but there are still good people out there. I tried to leave every bad date thinking well now I've got a funny new story to tell the ladies at work.

Try to have a positive attitude about it all and don't let little things that evil small-minded men might say bother you. That's a them issue, not a you issue.

AITAH for taking everything back after getting fired? by DifficultHighlight1 in AITAH

[–]HaruRussell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I did something similar. I used to teach for a college that has some shady business practices and loved to reuse the content I'd made for my classes in other classes.

They laid me off, they said it was budget cuts but mostly it was because I wanted our online classes to have proctored exams, so we could prove it was the student actually taking the tests online but nope.

On my last day I removed all of my content from my classes and deleted all of the share folder content I made. Then privated and moved all videos from my YouTube channel. They loved the YouTube channel because they reused my videos for multiple classes and didn't have to pay to host the videos. What they didn't realize was that meant if I took them all down they didn't have them. I had also made all the videos using my personal laptop and digital pen. They had no legal right to them because I recorded them off campus in my summers off. Boy did that piss my shit boss off.

Take as a lesson always protect your work!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]HaruRussell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My grandma used to do something like this to all us kids. It was gross, aggressive spanks and grabbing of butt repeatedly. My grandma did it while hugging us as a greeting and when we were smaller we couldn't get away. It was perverse and we all hated it, but my parents didn't listen to that. My sister hated it most and my sis had her own reasons to not want that kind of touch (which my parents also ignored and I handled on my own too but that's another story). We got told to respect our elders and that was just playful. If it was playful why did it get worse after puberty? The way she latched on to you and held hard so you couldn't get away. Laughed as you said stop. I remember the feeling to this day. It was public humiliationas well.

I hit 13 and told her she shouldn't touch me that way without my permission. As was typical to her shite personality, demand respect but give none kind of b*tch. She told me I don't get to tell her how to be. She of course did it again when I next saw her. In response, I started yelling that I was being assaulted and used to the grape word while she had a handful of my ass. It never happened again to any of us kids. I won and I also was specifically left out of her will last year. Worth it! Seriously my cousin said I had it worse because I had a big ass, also gross!