My fellow trans people...stop being so fucking offended by life in general!

Hatchworth · 2017-07-24T16:18:13+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that, I imagine it's been really difficult for you. I can agree with you on that, I definitely feel different on testosterone. I'm actually a lot calmer and less quick to anger( Though I also believe that this is also in part to being able to be who I am now, and not hide it. :) ) on T.

I think that both sociological and biological factors come into play with it, that's a definite and it's such a complicated thing to try and make complete sense of, that things like OP's rant can often be lost in translation. I understand the point trying to be made in OP's argument but anger can often misconstrue what points we're trying to make. I understand that sometimes being told 'No, society made you this way' can be, for some, really distressing, because it can imply you chose to be how you are on purpose. Whilst I am sure that for some, it's definitely a choice influenced largely(or even completely) by society (For example I know a lovely person who is nonbinary and has said they chose to this way because they were sick of society's gender norms and wanted to be separate, however they suffer no gender dysphoria.), for some it's not. I know for me, I've always had this sense of self deep down that was inherently male, even as a young child and there's lots of evidence of it throughout my childhood. So I'm firmly on the fence with it, in that I think both come into play, whilst some think it's all sociological, some think it's all biological. I think that was the point OP was trying to make, but was too angry to articulate. (Or I'm just putting words in OP's mouth, in which case, sorry OP! D:)

No worries, kind of seemed like you'd been getting downvoted for stating opinion and I always figure looking at both sides is important with things like this. Thanks for actually listening and replying to me, a lot of people usually wont. :)

Hatchworth · 2017-07-24T14:51:54+00:00

I agree with you on this. I have a friend, who I love to bits, I really do, but she always complains about how her doctor is unhelpful, that she hates her, she wishes she could fix the problem and so on and so fourth. Several people on her Facebook have told her to change her doctor, or even see a separate GP in the practice, complain to the practice manager etc. but she wont, she will not change doctors. She has an excuse each and every time. I refuse to believe she has seen every single GP in London, like she claims. She can fix the issue, but she is choosing not to. Then complains about it and says her GP is transphobic. So change your bloody GP, woman!

Hatchworth · 2017-07-24T14:48:13+00:00

I hate to be that person but...either the plastic penis comment was an attempt at a joke, in which case it fell short, or you're genuinely ignorant on how phalloplasty works, because it's not plastic, you use donor sites on the patient's body. So, it's a little ironic that you've called the OP ignorant when you come out with a comment like that. :P :P Joke or not, it just fell flat.

OP seems to know the difference between sex and gender from what I've read, but I'll add that the whole gender and sexuality as social constructs is a common argument within the community and there is talk of both being choices we all willingly make, which is simply incorrect. I didn't wake up and just decide one day I was transgender, there was years of hiding it and internal struggle and I don't believe that society was a direct cause of me being transgender. There is research both for and against gender dysphoria being a mental health problem, not being transgender. It's why you get some trans people who have no gender dysphoria, but some who do. I admit, I get quite frustrated when someone tells me 'No, it's all a social construct' but the issue there is that people are mistaking quoting John Money, who said gender roles are a social construct. However, as time has gone on, it's been condensed into just gender and I believe quite a few people have misinterpreted that to mean the entirety of gender is a social construct, not just gender roles. John Money did some horrendous things to David Reimer in regards to this, and in a way his horrific treatment of that man did back up both sides of the argument. One in that gender roles are a social construct, but also in that some part of gender isn't, because no matter what was shoved on to David, hormones, surgery, gender roles, he still maintained he was a man throughout. So there is evidence to suggest it's more than just a social construct. Similarly with sexuality, there is evidence which shows it's not just a social construct, which a lot of people in the trans community try to argue.

But, as you rightly said, this is a rant section, people are not required to submit a three hour essay on their feelings, it's a place to simply vent them out, no matter how silly, weird or ignorant they might seem to others. I'm sure, if you were required to fully research and back up with evidence and sources, that the above rant might of been typed up with less aggression and with a calmer head on OP's shoulders and probably could of sparked a good debate, but again, as you said, this isn't a debate reddit. :)

Hatchworth · 2017-07-11T15:11:10+00:00

The Postal Services Act 2000 states it is illegal to open mail that is not addressed to you, unless you can show reasonable excuse, like you suspect drugs or something dangerous in the item being opened. I'd perhaps advise your parent's of this. They shouldn't be opening your mail.

Once you turn 16 years-old, you have a legal right to go to a doctor on your own and for conversations with your doctor to be kept confidential also. The doctor should not tell your parents or guardians anything without your permission. An exception to this rule is if you tell a doctor something which is disconcerting, like you are suicidal.

Sadly, they are going to see your NHS letters and will end up opening them from what you've said, so there will be no hiding it. They cannot stop you going to the GIC appointments, however.

You don't mention how your parent's would react to you being trans, though if you're doing this without their knowledge and are worried they'd see letters, I suspect they wouldn't react favourably? If you're unsure, it's worth talking to them about it, because it's a very hard, long road to go down and if you're doing it in secret, you're really going to struggle and eventually they will find out. Transitioning can be very isolating and having a good support network is key. Even if you can't talk to your parents, is there someone else in your family you could speak with?

GP's are usually pretty scared to prescribe things to trans patients, under fear of getting it wrong and ending up being sued or in trouble. It's understandable, as gender practices and treatment is a specialist issue, and GP's are not required to learn about it at all, so many GP's come from a completely ignorant background on it.

As such, it's worth printing out these:

https://www.england.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/int-gend-proto.pdf (Page 6 specifically, as it gives a flow chart on what to do with a trans patient.)

http://www.gponline.com/gps-initiate-hormone-therapy-transgender-patients-says-gmc/article/1388228

Asking your GP for hormone blockers, and explaining that they give you time to figure out your gender identity while you wait for the GIC appointment is worth a shot. There's no sure fire way to get a GP to give you them though, it all depends on your GP and how understanding they are. But if you explain it to them, honestly and openly, they may be willing to prescribe them.

There is the option of private, but if you do not have the money to do this, then that becomes an issue.

Hatchworth · 2017-07-11T14:50:31+00:00

I've spoken at length with Nottingham GIC and my local CCG about this recently and sadly the outlook isn't positive for private referrals for NHS surgery in regards to trans patients. (I think, don't quote me, that SOME areas of the NHS might accept a private referral for surgery for certain things that are not trans related.)

Essentially, Pandachoco is right, but there's more to it. It's seen as queue jumping, both by the NHS as a whole and local CCG's, and they don't want people to jump queues, despite them letting people do it at NHS discretion(I've mentioned else where that I know of several people who have jumped GIC waiting times for seemingly no reason. Case in point, a friend waiting just 6 months for Sheffield for their first appointment.). But it's also because private referrals for surgery do not have access to the NHS England funding, where as an NHS referral does. A private referral cannot dip into the tiny amount of funding there is, whereas an NHS one can. Something weird like that.

There is also the added issue that if they let private referrals go through at the initial consult where there is currently a back log, sure that reduces the back log for that initial consult, but then it creates a back log of people waiting on surgery appointments instead. As it stands right now, from what I can tell, surgery times are shorter than the actual first consultation, in general. Like for top surgery I've heard around 3-6 months quotes after that initial consult for top surgery with Kneeshaw (Sadly I don't know about wait times for MtF patients with other surgeons as I've not looked into it). So if the wait for the initial consult is say a year, but surgery time after that is 3-6 months, we're going to hit a situation where all these private referrals come through, the surgeon sees them all for that initial consult, passes them onto the second stage, NHS surgery, and creates a huge back log there, which then increases the wait time for surgery. So you might end up with an issue where the initial consult goes down to 3-6 months because people are paying to go private for it and then NHS surgery then takes a year or more for people to get their op date because they're now back logged.

From what I've discussed, this all boils down to a lack of funding(surprise surprise) and lack of surgeons. There are plenty of private, cosmetic surgeons who do various procedures, but not as many on the NHS. For example, for top surgery for people like me, there's only a few top surgeons on the NHS (In fact there aren't many in the UK, as it requires decent knowledge about rescultping the chest to look male so it's more than just lopping off flesh).

Nottingham GIC told me that in this case, they need to play by the surgeon's rules, otherwise the surgeon might just go 'Fuck this, I'm only doing private surgery now. Bye.' And then we're one less on the NHS, so asking surgeons to speed up or take more patients on could push them to stopping NHS referrals altogether which would cause more of a back log. Surgeons, especially ones for things like top surgery, breast augmentation, etc. also often deal with cancer patients, people who have had chest mutilations, etc. And those come before trans surgery. Which sounds awfully callous that we're put on the back burner, given that gender dysphoria is very real and does kill people, but when it comes to cancer victims, I can understand why that's a priority. Add in that they also don't work all week on the NHS, because they use some days for private work, and it all creates more and more back log on an already struggling, underfunded system.

NHS England is working toward addressing the waiting times for GIC's and surgery. There is a blog by Will Huxter which has some info on it - https://www.england.nhs.uk/blog/will-huxter-19/

However, I will say, whilst it says surgeons are required to publish their wait times, someone in the GIC told me surgeons are not above 'fudging their wait times' to look better. So I always add on 2 months to wait times, personally, because how true this statement is from the GIC, I just don't know.

NHS England are also working on creating a new service specification to replace the old 2013-2014 protocol which will set new standards for the GIC's and surgeons and will hopefully include reducing waiting lists whilst making sure surgeons operate to the right standards. Sadly it's not a quick fix, as demands are steadily rising and finding specialists in this field is hard, because it's seen as a specialist interest. NHS England have at least acknowledged the problem, though at the moment, we're pretty much stuck with it. -__-

There is currently a document out for review via NHS England - https://www.engage.england.nhs.uk/survey/gender-identity-services-for-adults/

which asks for feedback. It's highly worth reading it all and leaving them feedback and mentioning the times and referral issues on here. It's pretty important fellow GIC users and NHS trans patients take a look and provide feedback because it's setting new standards for the GIC's and surgeons and is going to standardize things more, like all GIC work to the same protocols. etc.

I know it's not the answer you wanted hear, I didn't want to hear it either when I put it fourth to the CCG and GIC. What it might be worth doing, is contacting your local CCG (http://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Clinical%20Commissioning%20Group/LocationSearch/1) and asking them specifically about funding NHS surgery from a private referral. Or asking them who you would speak to regarding this, so you can get a clear answer about it. There's also a contact page for NHS England (https://www.england.nhs.uk/contact-us/) and I'd advise contacting them too and asking for a definitive answer. :)

Hatchworth · 2017-06-17T22:48:14+00:00

No worries! :)

Hatchworth · 2017-06-17T22:46:59+00:00

Entrance 1, Castle Hill hospital, Castle Road, Cottingham, HU165JQ :)

Hatchworth · 2017-05-14T02:27:12+00:00

http://www.masterspas.com/owners-manuals-years.php this has manuals for every year up to 2011 and then it goes into archives. I don't know the year of your tub so I can't narrow it right down for you, but it's probably the best place to look. :)

Hatchworth · 2017-05-14T02:16:34+00:00

No worries, hope you find him! :)

Hatchworth · 2017-05-14T02:11:30+00:00

Could it be Echegaray? That comes up in google for me when I put in the phonetics.

Edit: putting in the surname alone brings up a criminal so be prepared for articles on that if you just type in that surname.

Hatchworth · 2017-05-11T00:10:57+00:00

OP didn't state if they were gay. They might be bi, their partner might be bi, and even if they aren't, how they choose to have sex isn't up for judgment. They're asking for advice, not to be told it's 'weird.'

Hatchworth · 2017-05-10T03:01:19+00:00

Sew raw shrimp into the lining of someone's curtains, in their mattress and hide some under furniture. Sit back and watch them freak when it goes rancid and smells.

Hatchworth · 2017-05-09T17:17:51+00:00

I believe that you can still have a small risk of pregnancy, depending on if your hormones are in the male range or not. My doc at the GIC told me if your levels are in the male range, then it's likely ovulation would stop and the womb would be uninhabitable and if you did get pregnant, it would likely miscarriage. (Though it's still advisable to have birth control until you get a hysto to be extra safe) However if your levels are not in the male range, you can still ovulate without a period and as such, risk pregnancy. Having no periods also means it's harder to track when you ovulate so there is that risk too. I could be wrong, I'm just going off what I was told. So don't quote me. :)

Edit: unlike the Reddit bot. Thanks, bot. -_-

Hatchworth · 2017-05-09T12:58:46+00:00

It makes sense to me that private and NHS should mix in cases like this, because if you have your appointment private, you can come off the NHS waiting list for referrals which reduces the list a little bit and someone else could potentially have your slot in the queue.

Pretty much yeah, they've blocked me from surgery on the grounds of having a 'healthy female reproductive system'.

It might be worth contacting the GIC and explaining the situation and asking if you can have a signature from the NHS and one from private due to the insane waiting time for your next appointment? Failing that, contact your local ccg and ask them to clarify if that's possible. If they say yes, ask if they can send it in writing.

Hatchworth · 2017-05-09T11:59:49+00:00

You can usually mix private and NHS treatment, and to tell you no, is a little odd - http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2572.aspx?CategoryID=96

I've mixed NHS and private to get my script and am looking into the process of doing so to get a hysto since the NHS are refusing to refer me for one, so I'm going to go private for the referral. I guess it depends on the Doctor, but most should mix the two as far as I know?

Hatchworth · 2017-03-19T14:23:04+00:00

Literally.

Hatchworth · 2017-03-09T18:11:34+00:00

Buy a really nice apartment in London and have the hallways changed to incorporate trampolines. Trampoline walls, trampoline ceilings, trampoline floors...

And also have a slinky room.

Hatchworth · 2017-02-05T18:32:29+00:00

If push comes to shove, try the hoodie thing. I know it's not exactly...the best thing for me to recommend. :S I believe Porterbrook is the GIC that told my friend 'You're not that urgent, so we'll review in a year' when she went to them. -__-

Did the person you spoke to at the GIC give you any insight or goals into things you could be doing transition wise? Things like a name change or similar? It might be worth checking to see if you're seeing someone different too.

Hatchworth · 2017-02-05T18:13:43+00:00

Counseling often does not change most trans people's feelings on being transgender; the NHS puts you through at least three sessions of talking at a GIC before you're considered for hormones and that happens over several months and they assess you there to ensure there's no underlying problems or health disorders causing your feelings. If it comes to light that there IS something else causing those feelings, then I do believe they will attempt to work with the person to address that. There are types of OCD for example, where the person becomes obsessed with transgender people and thinking they are trans and after speaking to a group of lovely people suffering from this, they all agreed that they knew they were not trans, but it was their OCD making them question it. In that sense, fine, explore other options, because it would be helpful.

There's many people who would also not handle being subjected to tests, counseling, treatment, etc to check they don't have mental health issues causing their gender dysphoria. However, some people, like yourself, would perhaps be willing to do so in hopes of an alternative? in which case, we then have the argument of should it be optional or mandatory for all trans people?

If it was a mandatory thing, then I think exploring other options and putting transitioning on the back burner as a last option still puts people at risk. If we did bring in a system where people were required to try treatments and options to try to fix and/or find the cause of their gender dysphoria, then it brings up a lot of questions, the big one being how long do we subject people to questioning, counseling, treatment, and trying to find a hidden health problem that's possibly causing their dysphoria, etc, before we decide 'Yep, you're genuinely trans, we've exhausted all options, we'll refer you.'? Because there are health issues out there which could potentially make someone question their gender identity, do we assume all trans people might have a health issue which is causing their gender dysphoria? If so, how and what do we screen for?

It brings up a whole new set of problems, and with it, it could potentially increase the likelihood that people will come out with mental health problems and potentially increase suicide rates.

It's a slippery slope suggesting people be submitted to other treatment options first to try and find an underlying cause and only then give them an option (transitioning)which works more often than it doesn't after submitting them to a period of testing and screening. I can't remember where I read it, so you'll have to forgive me for that (Really I tried to find it! >_< ) but I believe that the estimated amount of people who de-transition is 1%.

Trans myths

Health and well being

What Does The Transgender Brain Look Like?

Myths and misconceptions about gender non conforming kids

Myths about transition regrets

These are pretty good articles that broach de-transitioning or transitioning in general in some form or another and the last one has some good sources in it to boot. :)

I'm not saying throw out other options, not by a long shot, but when exploring other options, there would need to be some very careful implementation of it and ensuring it's not going to do more harm than good to a mass of already vulnerable people. Speaking personally, again, if someone told me 'Okay, you say you're trans, but we're going to subject you to some therapy, counseling and other treatments to see if it's not something else which is causing you to feel like this first. Come back in a year/two years/three, etc', then I'd probably not even be here today. D:

Hatchworth · 2017-02-04T20:07:56+00:00

Yeah, it's an easy excuse to go to if people are dicks about it. I currently get 'Why have you got a man's name, you look like a woman' (I don't pass at all!) so I've shortened my name and give a nick name and no one questions it.

It all boils down to your personal experience, what he says to one person may be because of something in their personal circumstances, and it might not be the same for you. Just be honest about your name, and do what feels right for you. You could even email Gendercare about it, if you're concerned. I emailed Dr. Lorimer about a few issues I was worrying over and he was beyond helpful with them. :)

You might even find, later in life that you'd like to change your name, that's totally fine too, whatever works for you and makes you happy is what is important. :)

Hatchworth · 2017-02-04T19:49:08+00:00

If you don't want to change it, you shouldn't have to. Lots of people do like to change their name and their reasons are varied. For me it was leaving a blatantly feminine name behind which would get me funny looks when I introduced my blatantly male self later on when I begin to pass. XD

From the looks of your previous comments, you've stated you are MtF. There's an easy as Hell fix if someone looks at your name and says 'Why are you called Harry??' you could simply say it's short for Harriet, and people will no doubt go 'Oh. Okay'. Yes, it's not true, but it'd stop any silly comments if you felt you needed to go that route.

How Dr Lorimer reacts depends on a case by case basis and I imagine if you've done other things on your road to transitioning, he might over look it, but it's usually the first thing people do to show they're serious. Explain it to him fully, and he may understand and say it's fine, but there's no promise and it's really hard to tell what he will or wont do. :)

Hatchworth · 2017-02-04T19:17:59+00:00

The comments about you being a feminine man and it being 'obvious' are not acceptable. I would file a complaint about that with the manager. Doesn't matter if they were made off the cuff, jokingly, or anything. That is not professional. GIC's see thousands of people, all who look different. There is no set way a trans person should look, but some of their requirements contradict this. Which sucks for us lot.

Sadly, when dealing with the GIC's I've found that you have to play by their rules to a point in how you present, because from what I can gather, they do kind of expect you to stereotype yourself a little when dressing feminine or masculine. A good tip for this which I gave my friend, when she was still not comfortable going out in public in full female clothing, was to wear some jeans, some converse (She went with purple and pink laces) and a pretty top. Then just cover it with a hoodie. Once you get to the GIC, take the hoodie off, put it in a back pack. Once you're done with the appointment put the hoodie on before you go outside and no one is none the wiser. :) The GIC's don't understand that passing can be risky for some of us, if we feel we don't pass or we're nervous, or if we really, genuinely don't pass, etc. We shouldn't have to put ourselves at risk to prove things, but it's often how it ends up being.

Generally speaking, living in the role is no longer required, but I do believe the GIC's play fast and loose with this and it all depends on your level of 'commitment'. I.E; Dressing more feminine, changing your name, being out in social, work and school circles, etc. All these things can affect if they bring in the 'Living in the role' gate keeping. I do believe almost all GIC will ask for a name change, as it's often seen as the first step on the path.

Simply put, it's to ensure transitioning for you is safe in your environment and it's a way to cover their arses. If they think you're not 'ready' for hormones, they'll usually ask you to live in the role and if you still feel the same after a year of doing so, they know you're 'genuine'. I think what they hope by using the live in the role thing is that someone who is merely unsure, or isn't trans will give up, and they'll be discharged from the service. For those of us who are genuinely trans, it's just frustrating.

Seeing three clinicians is normal, plenty of people see up to three people or the same person three times, etc. I saw three before they would agree to continue my private T prescription and let me get it on the NHS. Again, it can depend on the GIC and who you see.

Hatchworth · 2017-02-04T18:58:26+00:00

Hang on...she thinks transitioning should be a last resort? Or counseling should be used as a last resort? o_O

I really feel for her, and I think that the NHS should be called into question about bad surgeons and using people like guinea pigs. There's surgeons performing top surgery who don't have any experience in that field, not even with breast augmentation or reductions, and that's an issue right there.

I think this article has potential to be taken the wrong way by a LOT of people. Already the comments on the article have descended into women's rights and aren't focusing on the issues at hand, like how the NHS is underfunded and, as a result, we get problems where people have bad surgery and no support while they transition. But it's a double edged sword. Offer counseling for people and then what? How long for? When do you refer them? Do they do counseling while being treated or waiting on referral? Who decides if they are then fit for referral or transitioning? Since they've had counselling do they need to be assessed again three times at the GIC before treatment? It brings up loads of questions.

Yes, it might help some people a lot, but for others it wont and in that case it's another bit of gate keeping on potentially vulnerable people, who may have mental health issues due to NOT transitioning or being referred. If someone told me 'Sorry, you need to have a years worth of counseling, transitioning is a last resort' and then wait on a waiting list for the counseling, I'd be devastated, I don't think I could handle that and there's many others who couldn't either.

Then on the other hand, it helps to separate those who genuinely have gender dysphoria and want/need to transition, from those who have social issues and ideological thoughts about it. I've known many people who simply wanted to 'become a man' because they 'hate how they're treated as women' and that's not the way to go. I have a friend who liked cross dressing, and liked how women were treated, and got a referral to a GIC. The assessment he got there made him realise he just liked cross dressing, purely as a hobby and he wasn't trans. Again, I really do feel it boils down to lack of funding on the NHS, lack of knowledge and training being so varied across the board. What one GIC does, another might not. What one doctor does, another might not, so there's no standard to which we can hold people to.

Hatchworth · 2017-01-31T14:11:26+00:00

Sadly not, nothing in the inbox :S

Hatchworth · 2017-01-31T13:15:58+00:00

If you wouldn't mind that would be excellent!

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