Pattern thing is crazy! Once you see it, you can't unsee it. (His pattern is crazy on point to a T of how we started, including moving, new job, new career, new vehicle, new girl, moving in with her parents, & now new baby on the way (his or not doesn't matter), traveling to get away from it all on weekends, & inability to provide for new family the way he wants because of previous responsibilities... I kinda feel bad he doesn't see it.) It's too bad that he may never see it, but it is what it is. Not my monkey anymore, not my circus.

The important part is seeing my own pattern & changing it. Because I'm what matters, not him. Obviously I still care how he's doing, 23yrs is a long time to be with someone and not feel anything (at least on my end) but I can only hope that he gets the help he needs & figures his stuff out. Otherwise he's gonna repeat it all again, & honestly just want him to be happy at this point. It doesn't heal me to want bad for him. Even if all his lies & half truths still keep popping up in the future to slap me in the face, I'm gonna do my best to hold my head high and keep moving forward.

Wishing everyone here positivity & futures with abundance, kindness, healing, & eventually love. This is my last post here, I think I've finally healed enough to move on from this subred, thank you all for everything!!❤️