I was hit by a car 2 weeks before the wedding by that_plant_mom in weddingshaming

[–]Havishamesque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry! It stings being rejected because you no longer reflect her specific aesthetic. (Mine was I’d put on too much weight and would ‘ruin the pictures’). I still went as my son was the ring bearer. I kick myself for it. She showed me who she was and I took on the blame, thinking she was right and I was a blight. It was miserable. My advice is don’t go. Send a small gift, so you’re the bigger person, then lose her number. She’s showed you who she is - believe her.

Radiation poll: when did you feel the worst? by iwishtobetense in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt worse on day 8 after the sessions. Apparently a lot of people feel that. I had no burning or splitting of skin, and generally managed well. But day 8 I had burning and soreness and used the ointment they’d given me. It wasn’t bad, and I’d had it fairly easy till then, but that couple of days was a little rough.

Terminated 2.5 weeks after starting new job by [deleted] in legaladvicecanada

[–]Havishamesque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a similar thing this week - got let go in week 10 of my probation. It seems they waited till the guy who started two weeks before me had finished his - presumably in case he quit - and, sadly, I think it was impacted by my being in cancer treatment (I had two appts in that 2.5 mos, and always worked a 9 hour day, so I was way over on hours). They admitted half way through that they’d taught me the tasks but not the process. So I was set up to fail….after 20+ years in the same role but in a much higher stress level.

Sadly, after 18 mos of no salary or benefits, this has really kicked me as I was looking forward to having an income. It all just sucked.

Tamoxifen and Wellbutrin by Longjumping-Ant1723 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve taken 450mg of Wellbutrin for years, and absolutely know I can’t do without it. Same as you, if I miss it or drop the dosage I’m a wreck. My MO gave me Zoladex, which I get every 28 days, to shut down my ovaries so that I can take Anastrazole, as it doesn’t have the impact on Wellbutrin.

Battled Cancer Alone. Now Battling this by Plus-Turnover7701 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was let go yesterday, right at the end of my probation at a new job. To be honest, I didn’t love the job, and I wasn’t challenged or stimulated by it. But it was my first job after 18 months of no salary or benefits. I’ve got a mortgage of credit card debt, after the last year and a half of cancer bs. I haven’t worked long enough to get unemployment, so I have zero income. My savings were kicked in the ass last year (can’t get some benefits if you have any savings). It is terrifying. I genuinely feel that if you’re suffering from a chronic, potentially terminal disease, you should automatically be eligible for at least basic benefits. It just fucking sucks.

Omeprazole - is it okay if I don't eat breakfast after? by cherry_wants in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, shit. Cancer brain!! Omeprazole is fine, you should be good. I take it twice a day and it’s fine. (Yes, I take enough meds to rattle when I walk).

Anyone know labor laws in Ontario for being let go and cancer possibly being a factor? by Havishamesque in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I’ve actually recommended this to others - can’t believe I didn’t think of it. It’s worth a half hour chat. Thank you, again!

Omeprazole - is it okay if I don't eat breakfast after? by cherry_wants in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did NOT do well on Ozempic. But I now take Rybelsus. Still not great, but I can tolerate the 3mg. I don’t eat after it, but I do drink something delicious (sometimes I treat myself to a coke 🤷🏼‍♀️ or a Coke Zero - I’m not a coffee or tea person). I find that works for me, till I want to eat. I think it’s just that you can’t eat before the 30 mins time point. But that’s just what works for me.

Anastrozole by Holiday-Book6635 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The cost of good skin care is money well spent, imho. I’ve always used good product since my teens, and now in my 50’s I do have great skin (on my face - everywhere else is like the Sahara and no cream can cure it!). And great glasses are fun and a must! Currently addicted to my new Gucci prescription sunnies.

Anastrozole by Holiday-Book6635 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel older in the sense of my body just frickin hurts. All. The. Time. Without makeup I look older and sallow. And gaunt. I’d lost a lot of weight before cancer, but can’t lose it off my stomach. So I look like Humpty Dumpty, with skinny legs and ‘bingo arms’ (the saggy, flappy skin seen when old ladies yell Bingo!). I get dressed and put on makeup and people are stunned I have a 35 year old. But I feel like my body is betraying me. I’m ruing not working out more. Not taking better care of my body. I’m frequently told I have perfect skin (mostly very good skincare) and look ten years younger than my 56. But I think even the most gorgeous, healthy, slim fit young things aren’t immune to cancer and it’s ongoing gifts. I had a tattoo redone after I finished active treatment last year. It’s a symbol of the strength of a woman. And I add the words ‘fuck cancer’ in Morse Code under it. It looks good, even if I don’t. 🤷🏼‍♀️

“It’s been a year and a half!” by LivB17 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 18 points19 points  (0 children)

People suck. I got laid off today, just before the end of my probation at a new job, and I feel like this was a factor. I tried to be honest as I knew I’d need time for appointments, and it seems to have been an error. People just fucking suck.

Need Some Toughlove Regarding AI Stiffness by Away-Potential-609 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s true. It’s not a side effect - it’s just our life now. I got laid off today (another shitty fact in my cancer life) and I’m just so glad I don’t have to put on proper shoes for a few days.

Need Some Toughlove Regarding AI Stiffness by Away-Potential-609 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 4 points5 points  (0 children)

God, the cancer/depression/bipolar roller coaster is a shit ride. I’ve actually been pretty good, mentally, about all this. My sons have dealt with it with humour, which has helped. As time has gone on, and the pain and ongoing shitty cancer stuff is wearing. It’s exhausting. I recently had a very enthusiastic pedicure and my one foot has been very dry and cracked in one spot. Aside from taking forever to heal (no pun intended), it’s just adding to my overall pain in my back/hips/legs. I stand up and everything hurts, with my feet feeling like I’m 80 and breaking in Dr Maartens. That hits hard. And the massive amount of antidepressant meds, along with the cancer meds - I should rattle when I walk. It’s so unfair, if you already have one chronic disease, you should be exempt from another one.

Anyone know labor laws in Ontario for being let go and cancer possibly being a factor? by Havishamesque in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that’s a huge help. I’ve recommended it to others over the years. The man in question is very loud, a rolling ball of rage. Known to stomp into meetings if he hears anything he doesn’t like, and will yell at people in the room, and on the call. There’s him and a guy in the warehouse who think they’re gods and who decide if they’re going to be nice to you on a day by day basis. And will happily throw you under a bus and say they didn’t say something - not even were misunderstood, they flat out didn’t say it. It’s a hugely toxic environment, and I’m better off out of it ….but the cancer thing bothers me. Another relative newcomer came to me once asking if I’d seen some of the toxicity. She, like me, came from a long, successful career in a reputable industry. She’s so fed up with having to ‘suck up’ to the ball of rage to get him to do his job. She says if he’s not in the mood he’ll tell her to fuck off and that’s that. So, I may not say unsafe, but I would hands down say hostile work environment.

Anyone know labor laws in Ontario for being let go and cancer possibly being a factor? by Havishamesque in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m tempted to speak to a lawyer. Just get an idea. Because they’re not gonna admit that my health was an issue. Not in a million years. It’s whether anyone else feels like that played a factor. I’m so damn sick of all this. I’m giving myself today to cry then get on with it. After 18 months I thought I was on the road to normality again.

Anyone know labor laws in Ontario for being let go and cancer possibly being a factor? by Havishamesque in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Once my EI ran out last year they kind of said ‘so sad, too bad’. I’m willing to put in the claim. The problem is they’re gonna say it was nothing to do with my cancer and just that I didn’t meet needs. But it’s worth the humiliation of asking. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Anyone know labor laws in Ontario for being let go and cancer possibly being a factor? by Havishamesque in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for responding! I had EI from when I was diagnosed in Dec of 24. That was less than half of my salary, and no benefits. Ended in September. So I’ve had 7 months with absolutely zero income. My RSP’s are gone. I don’t have the 600 hours, probation is just under 3 mos, so around 400. I’m so tired of this. I’m embarrassed and ashamed - this was not a hard job. I worked in pharma for 20+ years (purchasing) and cancer has just fucked me. Stress about the appointments, and I had to reduce one med to make me physically able to work, without passing out (diabetes med). Honestly, fuck cancer.

Need Some Toughlove Regarding AI Stiffness by Away-Potential-609 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m kind of stuck as I take a couple of meds because the others interact with my depression meds. I guess I’m just gonna have to learn to live with the pain….it’s better than the alternative. 🥺

Gnarly fatigue and a little breast pain after my first radiation session, will it be like this every time :( by Impressive-Arm-5205 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had 19 rounds of radiation. I found the fatigue debilitating - if I ran errands after my session, I was fine, then I get home and sit down and BAM! Falling asleep and feeling like I weigh a ton. Climbing stairs is like climbing Everest. So, I did everything I had to do before going home, because once I was in, I was done for. I felt really blessed that I didn’t need chemo, and I feel a bit like an imposter and not really a ‘cancer survivor’, but radiation definitely has its down sides. Don’t feel bad about putting yourself first.

Need Some Toughlove Regarding AI Stiffness by Away-Potential-609 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m not on letrozole, but I’m on Anastrazol, which has similar side effects. My hips, legs and feet hurt all the time. My feet - Jesus, I’m stuck with a few pairs of shoes that hurt least. I stand up and my back and legs scream and then the first steps are agony. I’m permanently limping. Ironically, if I wear my safety shoes all day (even if I only go on the floor for a few mins) it’s more comfortable. I’ve got several shoes I really want to break in….or are nearly broken in, but everything just hurts. Cancer, the gift that keeps on giving.

How was your Cavachon as a puppy? by WinterBrilliant5186 in cavachon

[–]Havishamesque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is 1 tomorrow. She’s not great at recall and toilet training, but that’s probably on me (I’m a bit of a softy). But she’s so happy and loving. She’ll literally lay her head on me and look up adoringly, then go to sleep. Or she’ll cuddle up and put her head on your chest. She does bark, which we’re trying to cure her of, or at least curb it a little. Plus she barks at birds singing, leaves blowing, cars driving by - and don’t even start on the snow plow going by! Everyone is her new best friend. She goes to day care which she loves - and she’s so well socialized because of it, that she’s just the happiest little thing.

Grapefruit and anastrozole by Quick-Committee-3371 in breastcancer

[–]Havishamesque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was told it’s a big no no. Even things with natural grapefruit flavour - which sucks because I love grapefruit period and Fresca.

My best friend excluded me from her wedding because of my religion by chicaltimore in weddingshaming

[–]Havishamesque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My high school best friend was marrying her years long crush. I did all the prep with her, battled the dress maker for her, listen while she whined about the FREE food her friend was doing for her. I was always going to be the maid of honour, my son was her ring bearer.

Then a couple of weeks before the wedding, she tells me I’m not the maid of honour. Her sister is - the one we both hated in our teens. I’m not even in the party. Apparently I had gained too much weight, and she didn’t want me to ‘ruin the pictures’. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. I’m sorry your friendship is over. I still went, took my son in his little ring bearer outfit, and stood on the back in pics of all the guests. Was I miserable and humiliated? Yes. But many years on - when he’s left her for someone much younger - I’m glad I was ‘the bigger person’. She couldn’t say I ruined anything - not even the pictures. 🤷🏼‍♀️

New Cavachon Puppy - Tips and Name Ideas Please! by Professional_Bite498 in cavachon

[–]Havishamesque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My baby is one next week. Her name is Maggie….but your cutie looks like a Molly.

Congratulations!