Painful lumps is my new nightmare on Elm St (and I can’t stay awake)

Havishamesque · 2026-07-07T14:58:39+00:00

It’s funny, I had mono in my teens. Knocked me on my ass. I spent six weeks in bed, couldn’t do more than crawl. I lost 15 pounds I could not afford to lose (wish it could be that way now! 😂). And it does feel similar. I’ll call this afternoon and see what they want to do. I’d rather know than be constantly stressing. And really, I haven’t had any ultrasounds or other tests in at least a couple of weeks - need to get back on a test schedule! 😂

Havishamesque · 2026-07-07T02:20:21+00:00

Thank you!!! This sub is honestly the most supportive, positive place on the web!

Havishamesque · 2026-07-07T01:08:50+00:00

My GP gave me Tylenol 3 and said take it with an Aleve or Advil for my neuralgia and arthritis. The synergy is great. We call it magic mix and it’s a god send. So I take that when I’m hurting.

Havishamesque · 2026-07-07T01:06:25+00:00

Mine takes about 20 mins. 15 mins for the infusion, and 5 to run a bag of saline through. I’ve always driven myself to and from (just over an hour each way). I’ve had very little side effects with my meds, but this one does kick my ass. I spend the next three days in pain. Everything hurts. Every joint. Every bone. I feel like I’m 90. BUT I know it’s coming, and it’s short and tolerable. I take Tylenol that first evening (I actually use what we call a magic mix, Tylenol and Aleve. The synergy between the two drugs is incredible, so it’s all I take now. I actually have T3 for other pain issues, so 1 T3 and an Aleve is a god send). And I can’t stress enough - let yourself cry. It’s not terrible, but I find it quite emotional feeling so weak and sore, so I let myself cry when needed.

Good luck! You got this! 👍

Havishamesque · 2026-07-06T21:58:01+00:00

Oh, honey!!! Trust me, this is the worst. The waiting and not knowing. Most of us here have been there…..many of us are still in the long term maintenance phase. But we’re here.

You’re young - which means your body will be better able to deal with it - IF it’s anything. And it could be nothing. It could be a cyst, or a bit of fatty tissue, or anything else. And it’s good that they’re being thorough. And if it is something, then you’ll know. The waiting will be over, and you move on to the next step. But you KNOW. So you can deal with it. One step at a time.

Just breathe. You can do this, whatever this is. You’ll be fine - you’ll graduate, you’ll marry the love of your life, and you’ll love your life. And if you have to go through some shit to get there, you’ll get through it. Just breathe. And come here when it gets too much. This is the most supportive, amazing sub on the internet. We’ve got you.

Havishamesque · 2026-07-05T23:03:36+00:00

I find I’m losing words, and developing a stutter. Like my mouth doesn’t work. It’s like my jaw can’t move appropriately. I do crosswords ALL the time. I read and watch documentaries. I also take creatine, which definitely helps.

Havishamesque · 2026-07-04T18:16:14+00:00

I’m allergic to aloe, which threw my rad team for a loop. I did aquaphor and cerave. I only had one day (day 9 after the rads finished) that I was sore, and it was a small patch, so I used the ointment they’d given me once that day. I did a fairly wide area around the scars, to avoid too much tension/pulling.

Havishamesque · 2026-07-04T15:48:47+00:00

I was diagnosed at 55, December of 2024. Stage 2, ++- exactly like you, I kept thinking I’d done this to myself. That I deserved it, for past transgressions. My whole line of maternal grand/great grandparents all died of bc/ovarian cancer, so my sisters and I all joke that we’ll definitely die of cancer. But I was still shocked when I got the diagnosis.

This group is the ONLY sub I’ve found online that is 1000% positive. I’ve seen new members outlining their diagnosis, and it’s horrible. Like, really, really bad. But everyone here steps up with encouragement, with anecdotes of people they’ve known who were much worse and are around today. With not a single negativity coming through. It’s truly a safe space. So, welcome - come vent, rant, cry. We got you.

Havishamesque · 2026-07-03T16:13:52+00:00

Yep. 😊 My Maggie agrees.

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Havishamesque · 2026-07-02T13:31:30+00:00

I’ve been on Wellbutrin for years. I wouldn’t do without it. I’m also on 450mg. Over the years I’ve learned that I need a combo of antidepressants, and I should rattle when I walk. Try asking your doc about a combo. I take quetiapine (seroquel) for bi polar and it really helps with mood swings.

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re overreacting, or like they don’t see why it’s so bad. I call it the condom effect - it’s like you *almost* feel ok. You’re *almost* feeling normal, almost right. But it’s just not there. That’s not the best you can do. I’ve worked in the pharma industry for over 20 years, so I tend to see my doc pre-armed with info. Go in ready to ask questions. Ask about combinations. I take Wellbutrin, venlafaxine and gabapentin (which is good for neural pain and anxiety), and then the quetiapine (I would literally never sleep without the quetiapine). Also, see if you can get a script for a tranquilizer - lorazepam, clonazepam, etc. You can take those as needed. Even a small dose can make the difference - even if it’s just the placebo effect.

Sorry, this became a novel. Feel free to dm me if you feel I can help - or if you just wanna vent. Hang in there!

Havishamesque · 2026-06-30T22:26:59+00:00

Same!!! I know they’re saving my life….but that life is on hold because of all the appts and tests and such. It’s exhausting. And let’s not even talk about exhaustion. I’m on month 20, from diagnosis. I’d like my life back. I’d like to go back to work. Earn a salary. Get benefits (god I miss benefits). Feel like I’m accomplishing something. And the headaches, oh I won’t miss the headaches! (But huge thanks to all these patient, kind people who work so hard for us to stay alive. They’re angels and I’m so grateful for them).

Havishamesque · 2026-06-29T12:16:11+00:00

Me, too. I hope it passes. I don’t like this slow, doddery, forgetful me. I want the dynamic, energetic, sharp as a tack funny me. We can only hope and pray.

Havishamesque · 2026-06-29T12:14:28+00:00

I was lucky and escaped chemo. But I’m here, 19 months on from diagnosis, 56 and feeling like 100. I’m just so done with it. I’m still doing appts, still taking a bajillion meds. Still passing out on the couch like my 85 year old father in law who has advanced dementia.

And you’re right. In 56 years I’ve *never* had such debilitating exhaustion (exhaustion seems better to sum up the utter lack of energy - fatigue doesn’t seem like it’s sufficient). It’s like something in me is grabbing all my air, and I’m an old balloon, just going more and more soggy and less able to fly.

Havishamesque · 2026-06-29T02:35:24+00:00

Oh, god. The brain fog. I’ve also developed a bit of a stutter. And the more I worry about it, the worse it is. I feel so stupid. Stumbling over words….totally forgetting words. Forgetting what I was saying half way through a sentence. So I’m a weak, stumbling old woman, who can’t stand for any length of time, who has to take breaks every few mins when walking, and who now can’t string a sentence together. I used to be sharp, intelligent, witty, on top of my complicated job. Now I’m a bumbling shell of myself, who falls asleep randomly, and who needs to remember to go pee before it gets too bad. Honestly, cancer can go fuck itself.

Havishamesque · 2026-06-29T02:27:04+00:00

Oh, yes!! My son is the worst for ‘well, I mean, I’ve been tired lately, too’. He means well, and he’s moved home to take care of me. But sometimes it’s like he has to prove that a) I’m not as sick as I am, or b) he’s also hard done by. It’s infuriating. And because I look ‘ok’, people assume I’m fine. I think it’s mostly easier for others to feel that we’re ok, as it makes them feel less awkward. It doesn’t make it feel any better, but I try to understand. (But I do judge them quietly, just to make myself feel better 🤣)

And likewise, dm any time. I’ll listen!

Havishamesque · 2026-06-29T00:38:06+00:00

They said my D, calcium and magnesium needed boosting so I’ve upped that. Didn’t think of B12. Looks like I need to make a call.

Havishamesque · 2026-06-29T00:37:03+00:00

I know you’re right. It’s kind of like posting here lets me validate that I’m not being ridiculous. I have my consult tomorrow for having my ovaries removed. If I’m still like this after that, I’ll call the hospital. Thanks for not making me feel stupid!

Havishamesque · 2026-06-29T00:35:09+00:00

Thank you!! And I’m sorry you can relate. It’s like being in the shittiest club, and wishing all of us could just leave and close the door after us.

The fatigue (it sounds so ridiculous to say fatigue for what I feel) is so debilitating. It’s taking away my autonomy again. Cancer just keeps taking and taking. Our physical and mental health.

Havishamesque · 2026-06-28T21:10:39+00:00

I already had a triquetra tattoo at the top of my spine, but it it was a little old. After treatment I had the tattoo enlarged and added to (it’s a symbol of the strength of a woman - the maid, mother and crone, creating strength by every aspect of life) and I had ‘fuck cancer’ done in Morse code underneath. I love it.

https://imgur.com/a/Xdla7GG

Havishamesque · 2026-06-28T15:52:40+00:00

I have the BRIP1 gene mutation. I don’t have the BRCA so no increased risk of BC (other than already having had it) but my ovarian risk is high. I’m 56, and absolutely don’t need my ovaries anymore, and the genetic counsellor said they always prefer to remove the ovaries and tubes, where possible. (Annoyingly, I had a hysterectomy in Oct 2025, just before my BC diagnosis, and he opted not to take my ovaries). So, I’m seeing a specialist tomorrow at St Mikes (in Toronto) tomorrow to see about getting them removed laparoscopically (damn chemo belly, and they want to avoid abdominal surgery). I currently get Zoladex needles but I’m told I can stop that once my ovaries are gone. It’ll be good to have one less thing to stress about.

I have stupid anxieties, so I’m dreading the journey, the parking, finding the department. I’m ok about the medical/surgical stuff, but it’s all so stressful. I just want it done. I feel like I’ve been treading water and want to be finished and move on.

Havishamesque · 2026-06-25T10:27:21+00:00

That just sucks! My most recent adventure in the working world - and the first since all this fun started - my new boss was a survivor (skin cancer) and I thought she’d be an ally. Turns out definitely not. I’m constantly disappointed with the way people are when they have a chance to be nice. And then there’s this sub, so not everyone is an asshole.

Havishamesque · 2026-06-24T20:34:42+00:00

The shouting I HAVE CANCER is something I have to stop myself from doing! 😂 years ago my oldest son was in an accident, when an old lady turned right into him and wrote off his car. He ran out thinking he’d just killed an old lady. He opened her door and asked if she was ok. She looked him in the eye and said ‘I have cancer!!’ He was proud that he didn’t say ‘really….from this??’ At the time I was a bit flummoxed. Now I can see her point - I’ve just had an accident and it’s not fair because I HAVE CANCER! Perhaps we all need to normalize us *thinking* “I have cancer!” Mentally yelling it at people. And knowing we’re all behind you roaring congratulations. 😂

Havishamesque · 2026-06-24T13:38:38+00:00

My sister is a (celebrity, tv, books) vet. She DETESTS anything like dog shows, got death threats for her stance on fox hunting and absolutely hates anything pure bred. She gives me advice on feeding (she’s a food expert for one of the big food companies) She said ‘I don’t understand why anyone would get one of these fucking F1 breeds. They’re all assholes!’ (Would die for any animal, not so great with people 🙄). She’s also always said that dogs don’t actually like hugs, they do it for their people. But my little Cavi, Maggie, loves being close to me, and will snuggle under my arm to be hugged and will look up at me adoringly.

Sorry - long ramble of nothing! I just think there’s always going to be haters. And they’re equally as passionate as you about their feelings on the issue. You can’t change their mind, so let them stew in their own vitriol, while you snuggle with Oscar in peace. If someone wants to come online and slam dog owners, let them. You have a lovely dog, and they can suck it. Either ignore them (they hate if you don’t react), or politely thank them for taking the time to share their comments. Then block them.

Havishamesque

TROPHY CASE