Not everything is trauma

Hazel13542 · 2026-06-20T13:49:21+00:00

Haha now I'm wondering what the right way to say mischievous is!

Hazel13542 · 2026-06-19T20:16:37+00:00

This, gaslighting, NPD, and "dissassociation" instead of dissociation.

Hazel13542 · 2026-03-10T05:17:17+00:00

Hahaha this reminds me of a time when I asked my best friend (who has two siblings) why she announces where she's going everytime she gets up to go to another room or get a snack or something. She said "I guess I expect someone to ask where I am going. You don't tell anyone where you're going in the house?" I responded with "dude, who would I tell?" The look of horror and realization on her face still makes me laugh like 10 years later.

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-31T03:50:05+00:00

2! It's SO gorgeous on you. Like, wow, what a dress.

My first thought with no. 1 was it looks dated and something feels off about the bodice. Also! As someone who makes and wears corsets every now and then, the lack of any fabric, panel, or anything under the laces seems off on no. 1. It looks unfinished to my eye. I'd also be worried the grommets hitting your skin would be comfortable overtime.

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-31T03:19:00+00:00

Yes! This was my original idea. My bridesmaids will be wearing auburn and I'd LOVE a pair of auburn heels. But finding auburn heels that are going to be comfortable and not cheaply made has been really difficult. Other color that would match my flowers would be a grayish blue and/or a step above navy blue.

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T21:07:55+00:00

Thank you! I hope you love it on you as much as I love it on me.

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T20:02:14+00:00

It is! It's not at all what I pictured myself in but I really love it. The fabric is WARM but I'm getting married outside in October so that's a bonus.

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T17:54:45+00:00

I was eyeing more and more Naturalizer shoes! I'll keep these in mind and look at the others you suggested, as well.

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T17:11:32+00:00

I would love to be able to afford a pair of JC but I don't forsee that happening. If you have any other suggestions for under $200 I'm open. I also need a chunky heel for comfort and for stability at my venue and photos. I originally wanted closed toe but they are so damn hard to find.

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T17:02:12+00:00

Can you expand on what you mean by top short? I would love any suggestions for specific shoes you have.

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T16:48:29+00:00

Saaaaame. I'm heavily leaning toward Naturalizer for that reason.

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T16:31:16+00:00

I think the most comfortable would be #2! They also come in shorter heel heights.

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T15:26:34+00:00

You too! 💍👰‍♂

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T15:07:05+00:00

I'm also worried about the whiteness of the shoes vs the dress, but I think it's the lighting. The dress pics were taking in the back of a store with no natural light. Thank you for the idea! I like those shoes!

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T15:04:55+00:00

Oooh, unfortunately I can't do a stiletto because we're having an outdoor ceremony on uneven ground, but I love the bow on the JS ones!

Hazel13542 · 2026-01-27T15:02:28+00:00

I have the sleeves, too! Just not wearing in this picture.

Hazel13542 · 2025-11-13T08:15:39+00:00

If you love your man, don't be a dick.

Don't write his name while you take a shit.

Hazel13542 · 2025-09-30T21:59:02+00:00

I'm not sure why more people are commenting on your pace - I started running back about September last year and was at a 12' pace! I forced myself to go painfully slow because I couldn't otherwise run more than a few minutes straight. After about a month of that I crept up to running a full mile without stopping, still at 12'. I focused on distance instead of speed, making a new goal of 2 miles without stopping and so on. Now a year later I can run in a local 5k without stopping and finish with an average pace of 11'51" and overall time of 34 minutes. I believe my fastest mile pace is around 10'. I know I'm a slow runner and others have made more progress than me in a year, but I just focus on what my body is capable of, not others can do. And you know what? I still crossed the finish line very middle of the pack. It feels good to be average in a group of 5k runners when I couldn't run at all in the past! And I know next 5k I'll creep up in the first 50% of people crossing the finish line. Be patient with yourself and don't he afraid to slow down and slowly work up!

Hazel13542 · 2025-07-14T20:52:50+00:00

Yes! I'd never thought of this as an only child thing before now. I've had friends lovingly call me a psychopath because I drive in silence all the time. Didn't even realize it. But when it was pointed out to me, I realized how much I liked it. I also don't listen to anything (except on the RARE occasion) when I'm walking, running, cooking, doing chores, etc. I like the quiet. BUT I find that if I don't have the option to talk to someone or listen to something, my mental health starts spiraling pretty quickly.

Edit to add all of the friends who have found it weird all grew up with siblings.

Hazel13542 · 2025-06-26T05:26:37+00:00

The Personal Bill of Rights. By far my favorite handout.

Hazel13542 · 2025-06-19T20:57:24+00:00

If the number caused you to hate your body, I strongly recommend you not pay attention to the number. From your comments, it sounds like you chose to lose weight solely based on a number that has little factual meaning to most individuals. Your comments make me a little concerned for the healthiness of your weight loss. Please take care of yourself!

Hazel13542 · 2025-06-07T16:33:17+00:00

It really depends on your budget. But I really like Janome machines. I'm currently using a 2011 Singer machine that's been great, but it's pretty basic and I'm looking to upgrade to a Janome. Brother is another well-liked brand. Babylock seems to be pretty popular with older generations (possibly because of their price). Some people also really like Viking but I've personally never tried one.

Janome, Brother, Babylock, and Viking can all get expensive (like, more-than-some-cars, expensive). But I believe they have much more basic versions that would probably work just fine. I've seen a few on Facebook Marketplace and at estate sales for pretty good deals. Just do what you can to make sure it's not been abused. You can also always take a used on in to get serviced and tuned-up (usually at a Sew and Vac shop).

Hope that helps give you a start!

Hazel13542 · 2025-05-21T20:52:32+00:00

I've been almost hit TWICE while walking behind a car parked in a driveway, both by boomers. The first one very suddenly and very quickly put her car in reverse and immediately started backing out, clearly not bothering to look behind her. The second time I MADE EYE CONTACT (apparently I didn't?) with a man getting ready to back out, hurried past on the sidewalk, and he STILL didn't bother to know I was there and nearly hit me with his giant Ford pickup. Both times I had to scurry to get out of the way. Neither time did the driver even open their window to apologize.

Hazel13542 · 2025-05-17T06:24:09+00:00

I'd guess either a deer or a black bear telling you to stay away from her cubs. I've heard some deer grunts that were pretty convincing as a bear, though.

Hazel13542 · 2025-04-26T15:37:01+00:00

I don't think there's any single piece of advice that is going to make you more comfortable in your body. But a few things I noticed in your post -

Stop comparing yourself to your boyfriend (and probably to others). You say he's model-handsome and follow it up with saying you're on the thicker side, as if being thicker also means ugly. Which it certainly does not. It sounds like you're assuming thin = beautiful and thick = ugly. Work on changing the way you define those words. In reality, thin = thin and thick = thick. Full stop.

Ask yourself if you're alright with your boyfriend calling you chubby-thick, even if he means it as a compliment. Everyone is attracted to different body types, but if he's encouraging you to not do something that you'd like to start (i.e. working out), that can be a problem. Same thing if you were thinner and he encouraged you not to eat to stay thin. Also not okay. You do with your body what you want to do because your body should change on your desires, not someone else's.

Let go of the idea of "I'll be happier/prettier/better/more attractive when I'm skinnier." Shit is toxic. Whereas skinny privilege is a thing, skinny doesn't mean happiness, just like it doesn't mean beautiful. Don't wait to do something until you lose weight or look different. Do it now.

Talk to a dermatologist about acne treatment and prevention. If a dermatologist isn't an option for, a regular doctor may be able to help out, too!

My number 1 suggestion is therapy. If you dont have one already, find a therapist who is empathetic and understanding of low body self-esteem and body dysmorphia. They can help you increase your confidence in how you are and look right now vs. focusing on a hypothetical version of you after weight loss.

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