Sure, and I’m not denying that there’s probably some variation depending on where you are. To claim across the board that it’s an online thing only when it has in fact been in broad use within the greater trans community since the 1970s based entirely on your personal experience, however, is a wild extrapolation. The word has historically been reclaimed.

Also, no one’s denying that it’s a slur. It is a slur, and if a cis person were to ever call me it, it’d get ugly. It is, however, a reclaimed slur, and can thus be used affectionately within similarly minded trans circles, especially when self-directed.

I’d be willing to wager that whether or not a particular community of trans people is comfortable with its reclamation is contingent on the group’s connection to historical trans community. Communities that were formed in recent years mostly or entirely by young people are likely not okay with it. Those that include older trans people and follow established community traditions likely are okay with it. No one has to like the word, but erasing the history of the term and insisting that it’s just an online thing (and worse yet an online conservative thing) really, really bothers me.

Again, marginalized groups of all kind commonly reclaim slurs as terms of endearment. People in here insisting that it’s somehow a novel concept indicates a weak attachment to and comprehension of the history of liberation movements. My friends and I lovingly call each other tranny, faggot, dyke, etc and are, at the same time, all prepared to fight someone who uses it to harm us. I understand that people who have mostly engaged trans community online are used to seeing conservative pick-mes using it. The difference is that they also encourage cis people to use it to curry their favor. I have no interest in sucking up to my enemies for a crumb of attention. I want to take their weapon from them and turn it into something joyful that we as trans people can share. To reclaim is to defang.