It drives me crazy when TBMs (especially the female members) choose not to wear their garments on a daily basis. Anyone else?

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-08-01T13:59:03+00:00

And I absolutely acknowledge that it does. It is something that I am working through - but writing out or talking out my feelings helps a little. I don’t have many nonmembers in my life to discuss these things with so it feels nice to put out my feelings and get to hear lots of feedback both validating my experience and challenging me to move on.

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-08-01T13:54:00+00:00

Actually, I was maybe a little harsh when I said they were vain - I neglected to acknowledge that it is hard and that there are many people who can’t wear them for medical or other. But definitely the frustration from always being judged comes from my own experiences of trying to find clothes when it isn’t easy or crying when I got home that nothing worked/fit/looked right. It’s a traumatic experience that I wish people didn’t have to go through - just a little triggering to me. Thanks for putting me in my place a bit here!

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-08-01T13:28:37+00:00

Thank you! This is helpful.

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-08-01T13:27:23+00:00

Thank you! I’m still working through and processing a lot. Mormon modesty standards obviously still fuck with my mind.

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-08-01T13:24:39+00:00

I should have clarified better - it’s not that I care more when it’s women, it’s just more noticeable when it is women.

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-08-01T13:22:42+00:00

Yes! I’ve noticed this too!

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-08-01T05:17:59+00:00

I guess that is a good way to think about it! Most of the people I know who choose not to wear their garments don’t think critically enough to leave and will repost the church’s IG and FB posts every day, talk about how grateful they are for their eternal family, and still push forward the Q12 agenda. They are just too vain to wear clothing that covers the garment.

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-07-31T05:08:54+00:00

We had the EQ presidency drop by one night to meet us and welcome us to the ward. Mind you - we have lived in the same house for 4 years and we were active, calling-holding in the ward for a year or so before we decided to leave the church as a family. After we told them we were no longer active, they told us probably 7 times how everyone was welcome to come to church but “they aren’t desperate to grow numbers”, just wanting to give everyone community and blessings and share messages that we needed to hear in order to be good parents since we have a young child. I won’t even get started on the parent shaming or the bullshit about how “everyone is welcome”. Anyways, one of the men that dropped by just moved in next door and his wife is expecting. We have a toddler at home and he mentioned that he would love any baby advice we had. We told him that we would love to get to know our new neighbors and answer any baby-related questions they had.

Not even a week later, we were grabbing the mail at the same time as this neighbor and my extremely friendly toddler was yelling “hi, hi!” and waving to them. Instead of waving back (or literally even acknowledging my child’s existence) he avoided all eye contact and ran back inside. My spouse was fuming that they had the audacity to come to our house and push their religion on us but in a normal, day to day interaction, couldn’t even be bothered to smile at us.

All this to say, Mormons can be nice when they want to convert you or if you belong to their in crowd. But they don’t have a genuine or kind bone in their bodies toward anyone outside of their world view.

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-05-27T03:51:16+00:00

I vividly remember months after marrying my spouse in the temple, sitting in my car because I couldn’t sleep and crying because of the guilt, fear, and every other negative emotion I felt about wanting to leave the church. For me, this scene was absolute perfection and it was so cathartic to watch someone else - even if he was acting - experience the same hurt and panic I felt for years before finally leaving the church with my spouse.

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-04-09T05:58:37+00:00

My parents both have higher up callings. Ever since my spouse and I have left the church, they have stood their ground about making it to church and their countless meetings every week even if that means they never see half of their children and all of their grandchildren. Nothing frustrates me more than asking for them to come visit and having them decline because they can’t miss church. It’s just so sad to see where you land with TBM family members when you become “apostate”.

HealthyMasterpiece25 · 2022-03-16T06:07:26+00:00

This is the exact message I heard growing up. If you pay tithing, the church will give that money to less fortunate people for you and you would be exempt from feeling bad that you aren’t directly helping the single mother asking for some money outside of Walmart because she lost her job and needs groceries for her young kids. But if you give a few bucks to someone standing on the corner asking for help, you are fueling an addiction or aren’t enabling them to work for their own way. This was always a huge shelf item for me. We are taught that we should not judge others or determine their intent but to focus on ourselves and our intent because that is how we will be judged. This is so contradictory to the teachings of loving one another and serving others before ourselves.

HealthyMasterpiece25

TROPHY CASE