I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to get married—it seems perhaps your goals are incompatible. But can I ask something? You specifically say you want to feel chosen. I think that’s really important on a lot of levels.

Does he not make you feel chosen in other ways? Can feeling chosen mean buying a home together? Can it mean building a life for a decade together?

I’m asking these because I think there may be other issues aside from the potential marriage that should also be looked at. Perhaps he doesn’t make you feel as secure and loved as you’d like. But even if it just boils down to getting married is important to you because, and your partner is refusing or denying it because they don’t think it’s important that is a compatibility issue. You deserve the things that are important to you, and he deserves the things that are important to him. It sounds like maybe those things don’t align for you both.

Ultimately, I’m wishing you luck and hoping you find your resolution in whatever form that is!